June 26, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at June 26, 2006 12:00:00
Lourdes kills me. Check out the attitude. The way she holds her chin. Who else but Madonna’s kid? Who else could wear that little cap with such aplomb?
Lola is a great example of my Celebrity Baby Theory at work. When you break it down, Madonna falls somewhere between Average and Above Average. Full Story
May 29, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 29, 2006 12:00:00
I can"t put my finger on it. Maybe it"s the wedges - so low classy on a red carpet, non? Or maybe it"s the frail, pale appearance. I never remembered her so gaunt and little. And what"s with the whole milkmaid and braids get-up? It"s freakin" me out. Come to think of it, I do remember hearing some rumblings about marital troubles. Full Story
May 21, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 21, 2006 12:00:00
The tour kicks off tonight (Sunday) in LA. By all accounts, she’s been working her bones off. Probably explains the ripped arms seen here as she left the Kab Centre yesterday in between rehearsals. Gotta love a woman who loses herself in work and not other, more harmful, diversions.
Much love to My Madgesty who can put on a show like no other. Full Story
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Been in London for only 2 days and I am so all over Madonna speaking with that stupid affected English accent. Except mine is better. LOVE London. LOVE Soho. Love the gays! And above all…I love love love Hoxton boys! Is that how you say it???
Tomorrow it’s on to Primrose Hill for a “ladies what lunch” stakeout – Sadie Frost, here I come. Will keep you posted.
I’ll keep these travelling posts short but smutty. Check back often for updates. Photos from Saving Face.
May 1, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 1, 2006 12:00:00
Many thanks to all of you who emailed today with info and photos and links related Daniel, Madonna"s back up dancer who I was gushing about yesterday. As they say - be careful what you wish for. Which is why I should NEVER go digging around my fantasies. Full Story
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wanna know what happens when a husband goes to Coachella for a debaucherous stag weekend? Well, in my husband"s case, his wife spends an obscene amount of money on clothes, shoes, champagne, and she also falls in love.
Dear.Sweet.Goddess. I have never been so infatuated with a bag. The designer is Tammi Lyn
and I walked in to Kiss & Makeup
(exclusive to Vancouver, of course) on Saturday and I saw my lover hanging from a rack - called the Tassel Hobo, in case you"re wondering - and 2 seconds later she was draped across shoulder, pure rock and roll orgasm glued to my body - the best small fortune my husband has ever spent.
But it gets better. It"s like finding the man of your dreams who is kind and funny and gorgeous and goodnatured and loves animals and saves koalas from extinction and then, on the day of your wedding, discovering that he is actually richer than ass with a sexual prowess that can rival Zeus. This is how I felt upon being told that my new darling is also worn by none other than Angelina Jolie.
Angelina Jolie??? Indeed. Angelina Jolie.
And yes, I am ridiculous and shallow enough to care. She wears hers off the plane and grocery shopping with her boys. I like mine more adorned, also in black, but with studs and a few bad ass rhinestones along the strap. Total gorgessity, non? Stag weekends are the best!!!
In today"s issue: Angelina on Dateline, Wentworth on Ellen, Charlize Theron"s horrid hair, another Spears who can"t dress, and crushing on Madonna"s back up.
But first - just a quick housekeeping thing. I posted every day last week and, Goddess willing, intend to continue spewing more often. So if you need to get caught up, or if you missed a few articles, go through "Last Week" and scroll down. And if you aren"t a subscriber, you might want to drop by for a quick check each morning. After all, we"re coming up on a blockbuster season of smut. You don"t want to miss a word!
April 30, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at April 30, 2006 12:00:00
I heard she was fabulous. But enough about Madge, let"s talk about the back up dancer. I have been hot for this guy since last year at Live 8. Total loin quiveration, don"t you think?
Daniel. I think his name is Daniel. And I see a hint of Bruce Lee and a lot of hot sex. Which probably means he"s gay. Full Story
So my husband is heading to Coachella for a stag. And if he can make it through a weekend of debauchery without cheating on me with some college skank, he has been given strict orders to stalk Madonna and photograph her screaming at Guy. We"ll see what happens.
Have a great weekend. Fresh smut on Sunday night. Til then, I am yours in gossip,
April 20, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at April 20, 2006 12:00:00
Now here"s someone with a much healthier body image.
So in case you missed it, she"s not an angel anymore. In fact, Charlotte Church lost her angel many years ago. So the fact that she"s no longer singing like one makes a lot of sense. The new Charlotte wants to rock out. The new Charlotte wears bad ass gloves with the fingers cut off and very tight jeans. Full Story
February 8, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at February 8, 2006 12:00:00
Very few people can do it like Madge. And very few people (probably because she’s older than everyone at this point) know exactly what to wear, when to wear it, and how to wear it to set themselves apart. This ensemble captures the essence of Madge. It is most definitely a costume. It is most definitely rock and roll. Full Story
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Quick update re: the site. I"m aware it wasn"t exactly operating efficiently yesterday, which is good and bad at the same time. Good because the high volume of traffic (THANK YOU!) is slowing it down and bad because we obviously need some adjustments to accommodate your visits. Therefore I am begging for your patience while I work on the upgrade. Pretty please?
Oh, and one more thing. For some reason, there"s a little bug in the database that seems to be deleting some articles from the home page. For instance, in my last column, there were 2 sections between the Golden Globe contest results and Gwyneth at Sundance that disappeared off the front but were available for reading if you had followed my column from beginning to end at the start of the first article. Hope that makes sense. Oddly enough, two out of three of the articles that got bumped had to do with me shamelessly self promoting and gloating about Madonna. How ironic is that??? Anyway, if you would like to read about my National Post article
or about my triumphant Madonna moment
, click on the links and help yourselves. I understand if you"re not interested, but I do highly recommend brushing up on your smutting skills and reviewing the post about the Hollywood diet update
. After all, I fully expect you to keep up. Anyway, as I said before, the best way to view all the articles is to read the column from start to finish by clicking on the first article and moving from page to page until the Last Word. Hope that makes sense.
In today"s short issue: children on my mind, my sobering Aniston moment, Drew"s endearing recovery, is gay gay everywhere?, Lindsay shops and ages, Star Jones goes off the deep end, and this week"s smutty riddle.