Marcus and Friends (dogs) Articles

Celebrities and animals including appearances by our first boy Marcus.

April 29, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 29, 2009 06:18:39 April 29, 2009 06:18:39

Good luck Kelli P as you defend your PhD dissertation! Julie is looking forward to celebrating with you soon. She also hopes the celebration involves hot men feeding you both beer and poutine. I like this friend. You should keep her. Have received many emails lately asking about Nelson who was staying with us while his parents were in Hawaii. Full Story

Monday, April 13, 2009

Dear Gossips,

LipGloss Zac Efron on Saturday Night Live – did you watch? What’s with the constant fist pumping? The fist pump was embarrassing. And the hair too. LipGloss is so much less annoying when he’s not being himself. More on that later.

Welcome back to readers in Canada returning from taking Friday off. New articles were posted – scroll down to get caught up.

Beware today of JailBait’s face. It’s a gloating face today, that face. She owns the top spot at the box office, opening with over $34 million. Great. It’s either Shrek driving a fast car with no dialogue and zero plot or a 16 year old going on 40 supporting her two parent pimps. The Disney child assembly line keeps getting busier.

Yours in gossip,


PS. This one is not about Patrick Dempsey.

PPS. Am underslept and crusty because of Nelson. Nelson is staying with us for 2 weeks. His snoring wakes me up from 2 rooms away. Even when he’s sleeping upright. But look at that face. How can you not love that face!

February 26, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2009 02:38:00 February 26, 2009 02:38:00

Happy belated Birthday Karen! SO sorry about the delay. Am having a hard time managing email. Julie is a good friend and tried her best. Don’t blame her for me being sucky! You can however go ahead and blame Ebola. She’s the root cause of all errors. To Sarah R in Burlington, Vermont – have a GREAT time in Baton Rouge to enjoy a long weekend with Laney…and Britney on Tuesday! Am jealous you’re seeing the opening show! Tell me EVERYTHING! To Audra who is staying at the Hilton and woke up under the weather… I’m sorry Ebola is so deadly! Feel better! Be vigilant! Think Tina Fey! Dominique! I missed your 18th birthday yesterday! Your ridiculously youthful mother did not give me too much ass for it, but please know, as your gossip guardian, how I adore you through the stories she tells me, all three of you, and can’t wait to meet. Full Story

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The Annual Contest officially kicked off yesterday and the prizes this year are amazing! Still working on your ballot? Oh…just to make things more difficult for you in a very tight race this year – click here to read more on the dark horse of the Best Actor Race. It doesn’t have to be Sean Penn or Mickey Rourke! (thanks Ritchie!) And if it were up to Harvey Weinstein, it just might be The Reader…what? This article makes it all even murkier! But don’t let that deter you from going for the win!

Enter here and take that Stella McCartney bag off my hands!

Oh Stump! You came back from the brink and stole everyone’s heart! He’s 10! He’s a senior citizen! And he’s now the new champ!

It’s Wednesday – will sum up the latest on the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation later. Also my Gwyneth’s night in white. New posts all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


Photos from

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The Westminster Dog Show will be crowning a new winner this week. You know how at beauty pageants, the outgoing Miss will take a final waving stroll, as her comments are broadcast on overhead speaker (!), before the new queen is announced? Imagine Uno making his last lap – it’s been a busy 12 months.

But for an entire year, I have endured the sounds of my husband huffing and puffing over the injustice. Because we have a beagle too. And my husband, he is That Guy. My beagle is the best. My beagle is the most beautiful. As he loudly (and crudely) announced yesterday – MY beagle could be licking his asshole and he’d still be cuter than Uno. Then he decided to put it to a photo challenge.

This is why parents end up in fistfights at hockey games.

Thank you for your Grammy and BAFTA emails yesterday! It was a LOOOOOONG column – 48 articles in total and 10,000 words. Scroll down and get caught up if you haven’t!

Tuesday – am blogging all day, but there won’t be Rihanna/Chris Brown updates every 15 minutes on her injuries. is good for that. Let’s focus on some fun smut, shall we? In times like these we turn to Porny Simpson. She has healing powers.

Yours in gossip,


Sasha Fierce hates dogs?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2009 09:55:26 January 15, 2009 09:55:26

Thank you for your emails about Marcus. He gave us a scare and what topped it off for us was that he was not interested in food. It was a sign of the apocalypse. This is what happens when you eat sh-t. Relief though - he’s turned a corner after getting a shot in the ass. And we knew it was all good when he barked in the FedEx man’s face yesterday because the lovely fellow understandably did not want to touch his stanky toy goose for an impromptu game of chase. Full Story

December 18, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 18, 2008 06:47:20 December 18, 2008 06:47:20

Happy 34th Birthday Rebekah! Yes… I did dream of being taller. Even 5 ft 5 would have been good. Sorry about your cold but am sure the boyfriend will more than make up for it when he’s home. Tuck in and get cosy! Watch Love Actually! To Sarah J – thanks for taking my gossip from law school to Fergus, congratulations on your move and on your partnership (!). Full Story

October 30, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 30, 2008 05:47:28 October 30, 2008 05:47:28

Happy belated Birthday Katie D! Thanks for showing Vera the smut and hope yesterday’s amazingness extends all the way to the weekend. And thank you all for your well wishes and emails for Marcus. We, my husband and I, are very touched. He, on the other hand, because he has a bad attitude, couldn’t give a sh-t. Full Story

October 23, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 23, 2008 06:42:08 October 23, 2008 06:42:08

To Tricia – sorry about your sucky week and missing Madonna. As for cheering you up with sexy boys… not sure about you but I’m partial to Steve Yzerman, recently named Executive Director for Team Canada 2010 going for Olympic gold at home and one of the nicest people in hockey, to say nothing for the hotness. Full Story

Deciphering Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 31, 2008 11:29:00 July 31, 2008 11:29:00

The effort is there...but so is the cheese. Granted, it’s over the top corny and I’m the bitch who’s dead inside. So most of the time, as soon as I hear the words “cherish” and “heart” in the same sentence, it’s an excuse to head to the casino. Anything is an excuse to head to the casino. Full Story

Monday, June 9, 2008

Dear Gossips,

My husband has the assiest style, like, ever. Totally oblivious to what looks ok and what looks like loser. So the mantra in our house is: if he thinks it looks good, it means it looks like sh*t.

Normally I don’t care. But we’re headed to Toronto this week and he’s coming to our party and I’m the asshole who doesn’t want to be seen with the dude who still rocks pleats. Pleats!!!

So we went shopping. We went shopping and we had to fight over his Poland circa 1979 sense of style. What’s most heartbreaking though is that he has a clothes hanger body, which means when he’s willing to not look like a dork, he has the potential of looking pretty good. This is why Quiveration is a package, see? It’s never just a face, or just a body. It’s the way the face and the body are packaged and sold. Because if David Beckham dressed like my husband, I don’t care what he looks like naked. My loins would say no.

Surprisingly enough though, he also bought a new pair of golf shoes this weekend… inspired by Justin Timberlake’s. He said it was the only part of Pip’s golf gear he was down with, making mention that Pip’s pants were “goofy”. Ugh. You see what I have to live with?

Congratulations to the following winners of the Cesar Millan book giveaway contest!

Tanya N and Bogart, Erin M and Reese, and Lori B and Willy. Also attached…Marcus being a dickhead at grandpa’s, mooching for food, as usual.

Monday – am online all day, check back often. And two new riddles!

Yours in gossip,