Did Xenu hurt our Butterfly?

November 1, 2016 20:19:07 Posted at November 1, 2016 20:19:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Photographer Group/ SPW/ Splash News

Mimi is no longer engaged. And she will not hide from it, goddamn it. Most celebrities would be living undercover in a situation like this. Not our butterfly. Our butterfly has been more visible than ever, waving that $10 million ring around like a declaration of war: I will not be silenced, she seems to be saying. I will only be silent when I’m resting my vocal chords, in a platinum oxygen chamber, while bathing in champagne.

But before we get to the latest developments in Mimi’s breakup, can we just appreciate a very Mimi Halloween? Last night Mimi – and her new dance toy, Bryan Tanaka – took her kids trick-or-treating. In a golf cart. Click here to see photos.

Please.

You thought she’d actually walk up to each house on her stilettos?

Also...this! 

 

#happyhalloween 😽

A video posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on


Mimi and Bryan have been inseparable since news broke that she and James Packer aren’t getting married anymore. James was reportedly jealous of Bryan and now that she and James are apparently negotiating their split, instead of being as accommodating and as sweet as possible to get what she wants, our elusively available chanteuse seems to be doing the opposite – spending even more time with Bryan than ever before, almost as though she’s deliberately antagonising the very nerve that’s giving James pain. You know why? Because her heart and her brain are still in high school. “Make him jealous” is one of her favourite moves.

Another one of her moves: I want my money. We heard last week that Mimi wants $50 million from James Packer because she moved her kids to LA for him and supposedly she had to remove herself from the home they shared and the pain and suffering it’s caused her has resulted in lost income from touring but most importantly, Mimi was preparing for their life together, expediting her divorce from Nick Cannon so that she and James could marry sooner. According to Mimi (via TMZ) Mimi was promised a certain lifestyle with James and she was ready for it, she was prepared to get it done ASAP. Just a month ago, James was still sending her love notes, telling her he couldn’t wait to marry her (and have sex with her). So, Mimi’s position is that she was good to go (like it’s a stretch to believe she’d have to work at it to be the wife of a billionaire) and that it was James who reneged on his pledge. Which is why he owes her. That’s her logic.

So…why did he renege on his pledge?

XENU!

At least that’s what Team Mimi is telling TMZ. James Packer works closely with a man called Tommy Davis. Tommy Davis used to be the spokesperson for the Church of Scientology. James’s side insists that Tommy’s helping James streamline his finances; Mimi’s side claims that Tommy’s an evil courtier, turning James against Mimi, making him think that Mimi’s squandering his fortune. This f-cker. A butterfly can’t be happy on a budget!

Tommy Davis used to handle Tom Cruise’s Scientology dealings. And early on in Tom Cruise’s relationship with Katie Holmes, Tommy Davis’s wife was by Katie’s side like all the time. Remember that??? Anyway, some people believe that Tommy Davis is no longer with the Church. But have you heard of Tony Ortega? Tony Ortega is pretty well-known for his blog dedicated to exposing the dark truth of Scientology. And Tony wrote back in May that Tommy Davis might actually still be connected to the Church and trying to use his relationship with James Packer to get back into Church inner circles. You’ll recall, there were all kinds of rumours a few years ago that the Church was hoping to recruit James. And there were all kinds of rumours that Tom Cruise was initially assigned to the mission. That never worked out. But now Tommy Davis is in deep with James Packer. And Mimi’s out here saying that Tommy’s come between her and her billionaire. That Xenu is thwarting her happiness! And Mimi, in her high heels and tight dresses, with that big ass diamond on her hand, is just fighting the good fight, OK?

She’s an innocent lamb who just needed to be loved. And now she’s taking on a scary monster. Well no wonder she’s so thin. And so very skinny. And really, really thin. It’s the hardest thing since she’s done since sacrificing her body carrying dembabies around.

On a lighter note, since all this talk of conspiracies and shady aliens is so f-cking bleak, have you seen this video of Mimi and James in happier times? If not, your day is about to get a lot better. They’re on the yacht. And the kids are there too. Please note the song that’s playing. Also please note how she tries to be there for her children so that they won’t fall but gets distracted by the opportunity to wave her ass around for the camera while dancing “sexy Mimi styles” to her own voice. 

Attached- Mimi and Bryan Tanaka leaving Catch LA the other night and Mimi out at Au Fudge where she took her children last night.

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