A hoarse butterfly

October 6, 2014 20:00:51 Posted at October 6, 2014 20:00:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mimi, our Elusive (but omnipresent) Chanteuse, kicked off her tour in Tokyo the other night. Mimi’s been in the news a lot lately because she and Nick Cannon have separated. And she and Jermaine Dupri broke up too. And no one who isn’t a lamb cared about her new album. So it was time for a good headline.

“Mariah Carey can’t hit high notes” is what we’re getting instead. I won’t describe it for you. It’s best if you listen:

And then at some point, those wings that are attached to her mic stand fell down:

“Wait a minute. I can’t go on.”

How can a butterfly go on without her wings???

For almost 30 years we’ve been hearing about that 7 octave range. And now…well… now we might have to contract the octaves. It’s understandable, non? Voices are delicate instruments. They can wear out. Jacek and I stopped going to Coldplay shows because it’s embarrassing when Chris Martin keeps trying the high notes and he can’t do it when he’s jumping around. I’m not sure he ever could – and he doesn’t have a 3 decade excuse. Or a 4+ decade excuse like Bono whose voice is starting to go too. Has been for the last decade now.

It’s different in a band though. It’s different standing up there, all by yourself, in a dress that’s too tight, under 15 pounds of hairspray, and having to account for it on your own. Of course hardcore Mimi fans are all like, “it was only a few seconds, the rest of the time she was magnificent!”

And she still celebrated with Hello Kitty champagne so, really, what’s the problem?



Arigato to all my friends at @hellokitty for the fabulous gift! #hellokitty

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