Mimi in Mexico

November 9, 2016 21:01:46 Posted at November 9, 2016 21:01:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Victor Chavez/ ALFREDO ESTRELLA/ Getty Images

When I find myself in times of trouble
Skinny Mimi comes to me

There she was, our elusively accessible glitter butterfly, sucked into a red tricked out bodysuit last night for a show in Mexico, perhaps to help Mexico get through a dark, terrible night. Look at her. Look at her KNOWING, you know? Knowing what we all need. Look at her, our sweet precious, smiling through her super extra vocal gymnastics punctuated by every single one of her ridiculous hand gestures, nobly and bravely powering through for the Mexican lambily, even as she endures her own bleak moment.

Mimi has been working (by her standards) a LOT lately. She’s not marrying a billionaire anymore, have you heard? It’s a difficult time. And the latest is that one of the reasons it didn’t work out between her and James Packer is because they were haggling over the pre-nup. Apparently Mimi found the terms “tacky and insulting”. She felt like James’s people were treating her like a “mail order bride” and a “goldigger”. And it was especially offensive because she “thought she was marrying the man of her dreams”. Of course she did. SHE WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT.

I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always

DIAMONDS!

I need somebody uplifting
To take me away

PLANES!

I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside

CHAMPAGNE!

Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights

FURS!

'Till the dawn
Why don't you take me away

 
MORE PLANES!

See? It’s right there in the lyrics. How much more forthcoming and transparent can one butterfly possibly be? And then to be accused of having ulterior motives?

When has there ever been anything ulterior about Mariah Carey!?! She is the opposite of a mystery! She is the living embodiment of a low cut dress! Nobody’s hiding anything, James.

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