Mimi: X Factor and puppy posing

August 23, 2011 07:10:28 Posted at August 23, 2011 07:10:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let’s get the business sh-t out of the way first. Simon Cowell is finalising Mariah Carey’s deal with X Factor. She’s to be a mentor and work with competitors from his house. (Source)


Now here’s Mimi in a Twitter photo she posted the other day at night in New York while “jogging puppystyle”. Please. It’s like God decided to show us what a corner of heaven looks like.

Note that her makeup is perfect. Note also that she’s standing in a way that has no value in life, like, ever. Except of course that that’s the only way to most flatteringly hide any lingering pregnancy bulge, make her thighs look at taut as possible, obscure most of the assness. And then there are all those dogs and all those leashes all tangled up, because of course they’ve been waiting for her to take the goddamn picture - after 8 previous tries - so that they can be handed back over to their proper walkers, and not her, because as IF she’s walking her own dogs, and let off to pee and sniff.

There are some people who read these posts and write to me with vitriol, railing on Mimi as a “useless, indulgent, crass excuse for a singer”. Needless to say, they are blind to Mimi’s virtues, to what she brings to the world. Which is gold and amazingness. And to those people I say... where is the joy in your life? Because look at her. With her own version of a fanny pack making her hips slimmer, as a stylist hovers just off camera ready for an adjustment if required. How can you not be happy?

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