Mimi’s New Year’s Eve Glitter

January 3, 2017 14:28:24 Posted at January 3, 2017 14:28:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
James Devaney/ Noam Galai/ Taylor Hill/ Getty Images

For the last couple of days, it’s been a nasty back and forth between Team Mimi and Dick Clark Productions over what really happened on New Year’s Eve during her performance. Her side is claiming that the show “sabotaged” her to create a viral moment and increase ratings. Dick Clark Productions is like, you’re out of your mind, we would never do that to an artist. And an artist of her stature should be able to work through technical glitches. Mimi’s manager, Stella Bulochnikov, who’s getting a LOT of play these days, between the reality show and the NYE shenanigans, was interviewed by Entertainment Weekly about the situation – click here to read her comments. My favourite part: “No, I want you to go f-ck yourself”. Talent managers tell people to go f-ck themselves all the time, I’ve witnessed this many times. Very few talent managers tell the media that they’ve told network representatives to go f-ck themselves but this is how Mimi’s talent is being managed now.

Still, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m not sure why we’re treating Mimi’s NYE’s performance like a Dateline or 48 Hours Mystery to be investigated…really? Do we care about the details? I don’t. I don’t care WHY it happened. All that matters is that it happened. That on New Year’s Eve, on the last night of a trash bitch of a year, this glorious, beautiful thing went down, almost as though 2017 was saying, oh hi, I’m starting a little early, I’m here for you and I know what you need.

Because isn’t this what you f-cking needed?

Any other artist would have carried on. Any other artist would have made an attempt to save the situation, would have stayed true to the idea that the audience must never know, that the audience deserves an effort. Most artists who are in game shape will push through the obstacles and rely on experience and practice, so much practice, to deliver something if not at standard than at least salvageable. Because most artists try to be professionals. Not Mimi. Mimi is not a professional. Mimi is a dramatist. Mimi’s not interested in turning lemons into lemonade. When it doesn’t go Mimi’s way, Mimi will take those lemons and spray them in your eyes, lemon juice like corrosive acid, complete annihilation. Which is why Mimi’s NYE was so classic Mimi. Mimi’s NYE was basically Glitter. You remember Glitter? Glitter was supposed to be Mimi’s contribution to cinematic excellence. Instead Glitter became one of the worst movies ever, of all time. And this is where you have to give it to our girl. If she’s gonna f-ck up, she’s not gonna half-step her f*ck-up. Mimi’s f*ck-up was so goddamn spectacular, it went from, as a reader called bambam wrote to me, it became a “master class in f-cking up so badly that it still manages to end up right back at amazing”. This is why you’ve watched Glitter more than once. An ordinary bad movie is a one time and done forever. An exhilaratingly bad movie? Becomes a repeat and takes on its own life. How many times have you watched Mimi’s NYE “meltdown”? For me, at least 8. How many memes have been created from these 5 minutes alone? At least a couple dozen, if not more.

“Just walk me down.”

“This song went to #1 so it is what it is.”

And, of course, “I want a holiday too. Can I not have one?”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Year’s Eve was four days ago – and we are STILL talking about this! This moment will live on FOREVER. And there is no one who lives for a “moment”, all of them labelled and categorised and individually sequined, more than the never-elusive Mimi Carey. I will be quoting several lines from this “moment” for the entire year.

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