Worst fulfillment of Oscar suspicions: Michelle Williams
When I ranted about her on Friday, I felt good. And I got a surprising number of dirty-little-secret emails from you all saying that you quietly thought the same thing. That she was too cute, not straightforward enough, or that the shtick of awards season (and those past) had worn thin.
But come on. We're movie fans. We like a good redemption as much as anyone. I love a comeback story, and I would have been honest if she'd won me over. Like, I don't always click with her fashion choices but I understand that she has an interesting vision. I would have been happy if her dress had spoken to me.
But it did Not.
First of all, it was allegedly orange or persimmon or coral or vermillion, except that in actuality, the thing was red. If you're going to wear it on the most important night of the year, if not your career, how about you go ahead and camera test it? It would have been on a lot more people's best dressed lists, I suspect, if it had actually looked to us like what you said it was. AND your peplum is cutesy.
We won't discuss the pink purse.
But AGAIN, she treated the red carpet like it was an audience of her grandmother's friends, answering with only barely acceptable levels of enthusiasm and engagement. Still no excitement, delight, even relish at having gotten to do the role.
And then inside? The presentation of the nominees? When goddamned Colin Firth, the embodiment of class and charm, is standing in front of you discussing his memories of working with you, and you look at him like he's an autograph seeker? You're a horrible person. I'm sorry. It was time to crack a smile. Even if he did get it wrong and you were closer to 17 than 12.
If this is that arduous for you, stop submitting yourself for awards. If you hate the red carpet, either skip it or be honest about it, so people can have something to talk about. And for God's sake let Busy Phillips have a weekend to herself for awhile. It's starting to look dependent.
I can hear a lot of you firing up your email to tell me how shy she is. But you know what? Even if I believed that, at a certain point we all have to get over the things that are difficult for us, or find ways to deal, or work around them. Even if you don't get a statuette for doing it.
Frazer Harrison/Ethan Miller/Michael Buckner/Getty