Miley Cyrus can’t video

October 8, 2010 10:04:26 Posted at October 8, 2010 10:04:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

F-ck I miss Britney. Original Britney. Every time they try, they just remind us how much they’re not her.

So Miley Cyrus just released another video. She canNOT video. Smiles when she’s supposed to be sultry, is sultry when a sexy smile would do, seems like she can’t be bothered to put enough effort into mouthing the words, she’s a sh-tty dancer, there’s not much charisma, and she doesn’t actually look like she believes in what she’s doing. Like during the group dance bump and grind section, there’s no full commitment there, only an embarrassed-ish grin, like she knows she’s being watched, and is too self conscious to let go.

Britney let go perhaps all too easily. She always embraced being the main attraction, practically demanding that we feast on her. It’s what built her up and brought her down. But there’s nothing like that coming from her successors.

Who owns my heart?
Is it love or is it art?
‘Cause the way you got your body movin's
Got me confused and
I can't tell if it's the beat or sparks

Who owns my heart?
Is it love or is it art?
You know I wanna believe
That we're a masterpiece
But sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark
Who owns my heart

Now that you’ve read it, try watching it.

Jesus that voice...

I mean, that’s how you force Bin Laden out of his cave, you know?

Last week after my dental implant, I lay in bed and watched bad movies. One of those bad movies was The Last Song. But oh my god Liam Hemsworth is a piece of ass. Anyway, there’s a part where they’re in the car together and she starts singing so that his character can learn that her character has a hidden talent, and there’s no embellishment, just that raw, grating sound that comes out of her mouth, and it was so f-cking bad, I actually couldn’t believe we were supposed to take that for real.

Miley hit up the opening of Xandros restaurant last night in Hollywood.

Photos from

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