Look at me, I’m JCVD.

That’s why he keeps kung fu-ing on the red carpet. And presumably why he’s doing the slap-the-ass dance with a metal sidewalk stanchion in Madrid...?

I don’t know.

I can’t explain.

But I enjoy.

In a can’t look away way, I really enjoy a man in all white spraying his legs all over a movie premiere, so grateful and appreciative that he gets to make the occasional movie now and again.

Next: can we get JCVD and The Hoff on film together?