Thursday, January 25, 2007
Forget community service and a charitable donation – rehab appears to be the new celebrity PR quick fix. Whether you’re a racist or an obnoxious 20 year old with an irresponsible mother or a womanising country music star married to a Freeze Face or an actor who hates the gays, clearly the message in Hollywood these days is to blame the sauce or the drugs and get your ass into treatment as soon as the sh-t hits the fan…COINCIDENTALLY as soon as the sh-t hits the fan.
In a word?
Thursday – busy day, live blogging, check back often for fresh posts.
Highlight of the week? Definitely Paris Exposed
. On the off chance you haven’t heard – she was moving, she put her belongings in storage, she forgot to pay the measly $200 bill, her stuff was auctioned off, purchased by a few entrepreneurial fellows, catalogued, scanned, and posted on the web for your viewing pleasure…at a price, of course.
I’m too cheap to fork over $39.99 for the privilege of seeing Paris coked up and doped up and naked and probably taking it up the ass 24/7 but hey – you might enjoy it. And if you do…SEND DETAILS.
For a taste before you buy – click here for the trailer
…yes, half the free world has goosed her and YES, she absolutely does tell the camera that:
I get f*cked in the butt for coke.
For clips and screencaps, hats off to the wickedly dirty Jesus Martinez at Drunken Stepfather
for gettin’ his smut on so quickly with the coverage.
CAUTION: Not safe for work
…but seriously, if there was ever any, any, any doubt about Paris Hilton, about just how f&cking nasty she really is, about whether or not she too is a frequent “bathroom visitor” much like Britney and Lindsay, you really should check it out…because Paris Hilton is ROCK BOTTOM.
Yours in gossip,
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sundance – the Swag is obnoxious and the Poseurs are obnoxious but Sundance is also the great equaliser. In a town where, theoretically, it’s too cold for famef&ckers to toss their tits and bits about for attention, bundling up means concealing the flesh, and when your eyes aren’t drawn to sensory skank overload, it actually means the Boys have a chance.
And Sundance is FULL of pretty boys. Beautiful boys. Famous and not famous milling about Main Street and not all of them gay…
Still…back to the famef&ckers – seriously, I love them. Women of all ages and sizes trying like ass to get in, sneak in, bribe their way in anywhere THEY happened to hanging, no matter what the cost or consequence.
Saturday night we were at the MySpace/Tao party – Pharrell and Mos Def scheduled to perform, Diddy showed, Sienna showed, almost everyone showed – and these tramps were crashing the door, literally crashing the door, begging security with the most pathetic but creatively inspiring promises, willing to offer their first born for the privilege of partying with the blessed… It’s the kind of shameless blowing you can’t help but admire.
Full Sundance report below and more…
Monday – live updates in between travel. Check back often for fresh posts, scroll below for late articles from Friday.
Yours in gossip,
PS. Much appreciation to Mackage
for the warmest, most beautiful coat ever – so gorgeous even the girls at the Fred Segal lounge were impressed. Tune in to eTalk tomorrow to check it out. And also to Shelley and Gina from the MAC Cosmetics Pro Team, providing makeup services for celebrities at Sundance, for getting my face on for a full weekend of partying. Thank you, love you, owe you!
PPS. Canada – be proud. We are represented in fine fashion this year at Sundance with Sarah Polley leading the way. The film is called Away From Her and is already generating lofty expectations for a possible Award Season run in 07/08.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Gwyneth is coming. Gwyneth is coming to Sundance.
Honestly, there are parts of the day when I think about this and I can hardly breath.
The best part about Sundance so far? Definitely the poseurs – Kfed lookalikes flanked by scantily clad famef*ckettes cruising Main Street looking for celebrities…almost as enjoyable as going to a hockey game and observing the Hockey Whores.
Oh…and Robert Redford is a stud.
Saw him at the opening press conference yesterday, like all movie stars he was shorter than you’d expect but still kinda hot. In that older dude kinda hot way. And hair the most mesmerising shade of…
Yellow. Wrinkled but sexy weathered wrinkles that go well with his deep voice and thoughtful banter and his willingness to say whatever the hell he wants. Many of you have observed that Brad Pitt bears a striking resemblance 20 years younger and if that really is where he’s headed – definitely NOT a bad thing.
Star-filled weekend ahead, will keep you posted if I don’t freeze first.
As for Isaiah Washington? Maybe I’m just a grudge-keeping petty ass bitch but what’s an apology with a gun to your head? Does “Sorry” really mean “Sorry” when it comes only out of consequence?
Nope. Not to me. Can his ass. Hire someone else. Let him watch Burke from the privacy of Unemployment Central as he entertains offers from Patricia Heaton for a talk show about “Family Values”.
Friday – blogging throughout the day, check back often for new posts, and have a great weekend!
Yours in gossip,
January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
At the GM Style Show on Saturday.
What is it about Jay Z? Definitely not empirically good looking….probably far from, in fact.
And yet…there’s something, you know?
It’s the way he looks in his clothes, I think. Jay Z has great clothes, better clothes perhaps than Puffy Diddy Daddy. And an air of something rather distinguished. Full Story
December 20, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at December 20, 2006 12:00:00
If it were up to me, she’d be single and lookin’ for Colin Farrell. Unfortunately for Colin, Scarlett has other plans and after bungling his relationship with her the first time ‘round, it appears that Josh has groveled his way back into Scarjo’s good books and the lucky sod was proudly making out with her in NYC last week. Full Story
December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Look how it wilts against Leo. Orly de-whiskered of late, with a true heavyweight at the Ecofabulous Party Benefiting Global Green yesterday, perhaps getting some helpful pointers about how to evolve from teen scream to legitimate actor beyond sprouting a few sparsely placed chin hairs.
But is it too late? If he couldn’t live up to the manly quotient for the Crusades, how will he ever overcome the whimpering whisker?
Definitely a career crossroads for Orlando Bloom. Full Story
December 7, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at December 7, 2006 12:00:00
A wild 3 weeks, she’s acknowledged as much, but the response is cheeky and light and warm and most importantly, it is encouraging. And this is what I meant last week when I compared Britney’s brain to my dog’s - small, low functioning, with remarkable flashes of brilliance. Full Story
November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Despite what you may think, this is NOT a wax figure of my Posh. It is actually her, in the flesh, at the Bambi Awards in Stuttgard, alongside Karl Lagerfeld who must have been in a good mood since he didn’t bitchbeat her concrete tits with his Bitchbeating Fan.
Actually, the Bitchbeating Fan seems to be missing, though the fashion torture gloves are present and accounted for and not put into use. Full Story
November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Best Actor at the Stockholm Film Festival – obviously not as prestigious as the others but in a year when no clear frontrunner has emerged and it’s already late November, Ryan Gosling is currently firmly planted in 7th or 8th place, maybe even higher. Definitely could make the five nominee list if there’s enough of a push, though lack of studio power might kill those aspirations, and if so…too bad as his performance has been praised unanimously across the board. Full Story
November 29, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at November 29, 2006 12:00:00
The Miami Vice DVD comes out next week and I have 3 copies to giveaway if you’re interested.
If you want to win, send an email to [email protected] and tell me – who’s the bigger trainwreck: Britney or Lindsay? Defend your position in 150 words or less by Thursday afternoon. Good luck!
From acclaimed writer-director-producer Michael Mann, Miami Vice explores the intricate dynamic between criminals and cops who risk everything as they navigate an international marketplace where third-world drug trafficking intersects with billion-dollar conglomerates. Full Story
November 15, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at November 15, 2006 12:00:00
In Rome, Little Sci with her parents dressed in white – paperwork perhaps in advance of the Saturday ceremony?
Sorry gossips…can’t help it. But she is sooooo cute! And soooo long!
Clearly not her father’s genes…
And um…don’t mean to be catty but is the GMD looking a little less taut these days? As in bulging out of that suit? Definitely not as fit as he was in MI:3 which I just saw this weekend, not a bad movie actually, and he did look…even cute…until he jumped on his manly man motorcycle and then I had to giggle. Full Story
November 14, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at November 14, 2006 12:00:00
Snoop Dogg says he wanted to hang with Becks but was shut down by his wife because she thought he’d be a bad influence…and can you blame her???
With all due respect to Snoop, and I do love Snoop, he doesn’t exactly make for innocent company especially in the company of a prolific cheater.
Seriously… Can you imagine how much poon would get pillaged in the wake of a Dogg/David hook up?
Definitely support my Posh on this one. Full Story
October 25, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at October 25, 2006 12:00:00
In light of the report today in the UK Daily Mail, perhaps it"s timely to revisit a post from the past - an article I wrote in 2004 after British tabloids first starting yammering about her alleged and expensive cosmetic enhancement. Full Story
October 19, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at October 19, 2006 12:00:00
Take a look at this photo. Provocative, non? Would it make you feel any different to learn that HER FATHER took this??? And sold them to WireImage? Sorry…maybe I'm just an Asian prude but to me? That's f-cking creepy. There is nothing profound in saying that our lives are shaped by Defining Moments, moments that dictate each and every move thereafter, experiences that form the basis of future experiences and how we react to them. Full Story