Music Smut Articles
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I bought Janet Jackson tickets on presale yesterday. Set my alarm for it at 10am to click on the AMEX Front Of The Line link. September 15 in Toronto. During TIFF. I thought that would be my highest Miss Jackson point of the day.
But then I listened to the 43 seconds of new music she posted on Twitter. God her voice sounds so much like Michael’s. At the end of that clip though?
That feels like it’s about to kick in to a funky ass beat, right?
Or, you know, it doesn’t have to. Janet’s given us a lot of ballads too. The last time I saw her on tour – and this was a looong time ago – she did a Come Back to Me/Let’s Wait A While/Again medley that I call up on YouTube a couple of times a year.
So yeah, if the new album is ballads, that works for me too.
Here’s Janet at LAX yesterday looking like she’s in tour shape. I just got goosebumps.
Yours in gossip,
Madonna’s new video, featuring Beyonce and Katy Perry and Minaj and Miley was promised to us yesterday. SHE was the one who promised it. On Instagram last week – her words, not mine. Click here to see.
Yesterday she released the poster. It felt like Taylor Swift. OK but whatever. Beyonce alone can take 25 of #SwiftSquad members, no problem. What happened? I waited. I walked all over DC, eating up data on my phone, waiting. I waited all the way from DC to New York, eating up more data on my phone. Nothing.
And what’s even more embarrassing is that this is the SECOND TIME. You remember what happened with the Ghosttown video in April? How it was supposed to drop on Meerkat and the app couldn’t handle it? So yesterday didn’t happen and now she’s saying that Bitch I’m Madonna will be available Wednesday morning. Well I’ve waited now until 9:30amET because I was hoping to open with it and still, I don’t see it.
Inefficiency has never been Madonna’s problem. Why is it so often her problem now? She makes it worse with messages like this:
Video coming soon! Just tryin to make it perfect for all of you ❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️😄❤️😓❤️😁 we are hard werking bitches! #bitchimmadonna
This is how it works for someone at the beginning of their career, non? In any business. You open a restaurant and in the early days, maybe the kitchen has timing problems, maybe the restocking schedule is still being figured out and you can’t always offer what’s on the menu. And you apologise to your customers – sorry! we’re new! we are learning, please be patient with us.
But Madonna is not/should not be amateur hour. And lately, all we’ve seen from her is amateur hour. As a fan for 3 decades now, I’m telling you, there’s no joy in this observation. And on top of all that? When the video does – finally – come out, what might save her will be the appearance and performance of OTHER artists: Beysus, Katy, Miley…
That’s not the Madonna I signed up for.
Yours in gossip,
Let me just tell you, again, how it was when I was growing up, OK? Old people do this. We have to mansplain to the new generation about the superiority of our world. Back then, a Madonna video and/or performance was a major event. It was tight. It was bold. It was always imitated. Over and over again it was imitated from basements to school gymnasiums to stages. Full Story
Wenn, FameFlynet, Sonia Hall/ AKM-GSI/ Splash News
Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez went out for lunch yesterday. And there were a lot of paps around to document the event. Conveniently this happened just after Madonna released the poster for her new video – which has finally dropped on Tidal (so, naturally, I’m waiting for it to be made available on YouTube and besides, I heard the last 30 seconds of it is f-cked up…so this doesn’t look great on Jay Z either) – featuring Beyonce, Katy Perry, Minaj, Miley, and others… kinda like Bad Blood. Full Story
Taylor Swift put together a video featuring all of her friends for Bad Blood. And you know the song is supposedly about Katy Perry. Now Madonna is …well… Kinda doing the same… WITH Katy Perry. Here’s what she posted on Instagram: Video coming soon! Just tryin to make it perfect for all of you ❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️😄❤️😓❤️😁 we are hard werking bitches! #bitchimmadonna Full Story
This just in… Janet Jackson announced on her website this morning that there’s a new tour. We already knew about the new album coming in the fall. And to support it, she’ll be going live. She’s coming for us live. She’s coming BACK for us… live. If you’re not smashing around your office or desk or on the bus, hootin’ and hollerin’ with excitement, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Full Story
So it wasn’t true. Katy Perry is not releasing a song called 1984 as a slap-back to Taylor Swift. Her managers confirmed to Billboard that the story was bullsh-t. There is a 1984 that has been registered but it’s not hers. Katy also retweeted Billboard’s clarification on the issue which means there’s nothing to see here…
But what were those few hours like when Taylor Swift thought that there might have been something to see there? Well, around the same time that the rumour about 1984 was circulating, Taylor was also retweeting online articles. This story in ESQUIRE featuring Taylor and Beyonce with the title…
How Beyoncé and Taylor Swift Conquered the World with Pop Music
…that namechecks Katy Perry, who’s a major player in pop too, like she’s an afterthought. You think she’d want to be part of that conversation?
It’s the only flattering headline about Beyonce that’s come out this week. The Beyhive felt f-cked over after her Good Morning America shenanigans a few days ago – click here for a refresher – as people continue to not give a sh-t about her 22 Vegan Days, and, at the same time, seriously hate on Tidal. Bey is supposedly releasing an “athleisure’ clothing line with Topshop in the fall. Seems a lot more on-brand than kale. But can she remain as removed from the consumer while promoting that than she has been with the vegan business? Would you buy it anyway because it’s fashion?
Yours in gossip,
A new Miley Cyrus song hit the internet this week. There’s no information about whether or not it’ll be on a new album or if Nightmare was supposed to be on Bangerz but never made it. Given that it’s a strong single though, I have a hard time believing it would have been discarded. Full Story
FameFlynet, Splash News
Katy Perry has reportedly registered a song called 1984. That’s when she was born. But, not surprisingly, and understandably, everyone’s wondering whether or not it’s a slap-back to Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood off her smash hit album 1989. Come on. This is not a reach. We’ve been talking about how they hate each other for months. Full Story
WPA Pool/ Getty Images
These pictures of Prince Harry and Lady Gaga, with Tony Bennett last night, crack me up. It’s the glitter eyebrows, which I totally want to try one day. And she’s standing there, with her glorious cleavage front and centre (and this is TAME by her standards!), next to a dude from the squarest family in the world. Full Story
Theo Wargo/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Jemal Countess/ Kevin Mazur/ Getty Images
I switched over to Game Of Thrones just before the Fun Home performance at the Tony Awards last night but Duana sent me a text making me promise to go back to Ring Of Keys after the dragons. Oh my God, Sydney Lucas. Your swagger… Your dungarees! Watch this one. Will she be an Anne Hathaway or more like a Lea Michele? Or… Anna Kendrick? I’m going to predict a Hathaway-Kendrick hybrid. Full Story