The real Brange

November 21, 2008 09:18:00 Posted at November 21, 2008 09:18:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Am about to have a very smug moment. If you can’t stand it, click away quickly.

Wasn’t intending on writing about the New York Times piece titled “Angelina Jolie’s Carefully Orchestrated Image” because, well, why is this news? But I keep getting the emails so…

Go through the archives of this blog and you will find that message repeated repeatedly: when it comes to the Pitts, they are the masters of the game. Always in control. Always strategising. Always maneuvering. Always selling. And a lot of people are always buying.

The publication says Jolie has no publicist, cites specific instances where the Brange dictated editorial terms to People Magazine and Hello and also refers to a time way back just after her split with BBT when she orchestrated a photo shoot with Maddox that began her transformation from oversexed wild crazy girl to humanitarian Earth Mother. Yes, she’s militant about her public image. Yes, HE is militant about his public image. Yes they are running the show. Yes they throw their weight around and many members of the press wither at their demands. Yes People Magazine is half way up their asses.

Again…why is this news?

As I’ve said time and again, the Pitts are never photographed unless they WANT to be photographed.

Getting it validated by the New York Times though is pretty amazing. And the New York Times giving the Brange a backhanded compliment is pretty amazing too. Brangelunatics don’t like the New York Times anymore.

Having said that, the article describes the Brange machinations almost as if they are rogue moves, as if they operate by a completely different set of standards from everyone else.


It’s the same playbook. They just execute it better than the rest.

Shelf Ass Jessica Biel executes it pretty well too. And last week Jennifer Aniston did a kick ass job as well, redeeming herself from Huvane’s previous blunders.

As such, an even BETTER article would have been to call out all the media manipulators and rank them according to proficiency supported by Q scores, graphs and pie charts, magazine mentions, message board activity, and paparazzi interest with the Brange sitting way at the top and, say, someone like Mischa Barton ranking closer to the bottom.

Let’s call it The Famewhore Games.

Then would the MiniVan Majority believe that all celebrities are full of sh-t?

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