An open letter to Casey B
“Chad Michael Murray is a moron”. This prompted a very angry message from Young Casey B and several others who came out swinging in defense of their idol. Among the highlights of Casey’s particular argument – other than calling me a dillhole – was that I needed to get my facts straight. Here’s a recap: “and as for the rumor about chad cheating, i think you should check your facts before you print this bullsh*t. the only thing chad has said about it all is that he was faithful, and until there is any other comment by him thats what you should believe. you are so stupid and gullible. i feel ashamed that there are people in this world like you. GROW UP!” I harbour no ill will against Casey and the CMM fanclub. I can understand what it’s like to believe in a celebrity, to love him for what he’s not, and to stand up for him against all odds. Way, way, way back…before I grew my gaydar, before I received a Ph.D. in homo-spotting, I used to love a Chinese superstar named Leslie Cheung. Leslie was widely known as perhaps the most beautiful Asian man who ever walked the earth. So pretty, so delicate, and in my 13 year old eyes, the most desirable human being I had ever set my sights on. He threw himself off a building on April Fool"s Day 3 years ago. Quite dramatic actually. Almost fitting for his personality, in fact. Anyway, one day, my mother, ever the knowing bitch, tried to set me straight. I remember her perched on the mahjong table - as usual - in Hong Kong, summer of 1987, while I was swooning over Leslie’s new album cover. After listening to me moan and groan for the better of 10 minutes, she finally slapped her long talons on the table, knocking over several tiles, and in her patented Canton-argue squawk she laced me straight up with the following: “he’s gay and he doesn’t like girls. Ah Soo at the Mong Kok market saw him kissing a man last week in a taxi cab so stop distracting me. I’m about to eat a hand right now with a big pot and I’m going to miss it if you continue pining for a queer.” Needless to say, I refused to speak to her for 3 days. And I remember being just as angry as Casey, so full of indignant hostility, unwilling to accept what was staring me in the face. In light of this trip down memory lane, I can only imagine what Casey must be going through. Because surely she’s heard the announcement and the rumours that have led up to said announcement. That Chad Michael Murray, the cheating scum, has now added pervert to his list of illustrious accomplishments. Not only is the 25 year old Z-lister dating a 17 year old (apparently she just turned 18) named Kenzie - see attached, word from Perez Hilton is that he also knocked her up, and this is the reason for the quickie engagement. Let me repeat: He is 25. TWENTY FIVE. And he started tappin’ it when she was 17. She’s now pregnant. He’s now F*CKED. And poor Casey is probably heartbroken. Can we all agree now that Chad Michael Murray is the real dillhole in this situation??? I rest my case.