Granny Freeze: Photoshoot at the Beach

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 18, 2008 06:47:00 March 18, 2008 06:47:00

So Granny’s bodyguard beat the sh*t out of a photographer last week and not a word of it in any of the papers or the weeklies. Coincidence or conspiracy?

Consider this:

Nicole Kidman is super tight with Rupert Murdoch.

Oh but Granny would ever, ever pull those kind of strings, would she? Granny is not a media manipulator. Oh no, not at all.


That sh*t is dirtier than the Sopranos.

Still… last week’s incident was certainly not part of Gran’s master plan. An unfortunate blip that required whitewashing immediately. As such, the Freeze beat it out of LA to return to safer shores in Australia, her home country that has all but unofficially anointed her its princess.

Keith of course was immediately summoned. And a white dress for the occasion – always the innocent, pristine Nicole, enjoying a day at the beach with a chained doting husband, curiously not at all perturbed on this occasion by the presence of paparazzi capturing the loving moment. Especially not since her lips seemed to have been plumped since we saw her last…

Always rewarding to have your picture taken fresh from the surgeon’s. It’s good for the ego.

The headline accompanying this “candid” tableau?

“Barefoot, pregnant, and blissfully happy…”

That’s right, gossips. She’s pregnant. Or have you forgotten? And who could blame you???


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