Here"s Nic making a pit stop in China on her way back to Australia for the rumoured wedding with country manlights and his dry thin lips. Take a look at her hands in relation to her face. The skin in particular. You notice a difference? There are babies with more wrinkles than Nicole Kidman!!!
Speaking of babies - that suspicious bump from last week was decidedly less prominent in Shanghai over the weekend, prompting most fairweather gossips to jump over to the empty womb side of the pregnancy pendulum. As I said a few days ago, I have no idea if she is or isn"t but if we"re going to nitpick and magnify every inch of her body, I will note that her boobs certainly haven"t gotten any bigger which is usually - but not always, I know - a telltale sign of fertilisation. Not that I"m particularly fond of perpetuating the hermaphrodite theory but I"d say it"s too early days yet to consider this a slamdunk pregnancy.
Finally, to answer many of you who have written to ask what exactly Nicole Kidman would gain by entering into a contractual marriage with Keith Urban - she"s pushing 40, she traded 10 years of her life with Hollywood"s freakiest freak, she"s alleged to have dual genitalia, obsessed with youth, with a career in a mini-slump, and addicted to Botox. Relative to what you"ve just read on her resume, buying love doesn"t seem like a stretch.
And don"t forget the tit for tat factor. The Pitts aren"t the only ones, you know. I hear Nicole can"t stand to see Tom Cruise with all the attention and while she"s more than amused by the backlash his craziness has inspired, she"s also apparently hungry for the same kind of media attention, especially since the tabloids are being taken over by young girls nearly 20 years her junior.
So excuse the poor girl for sticking needles into her face and engineering a romance, will you? After all, not everyone is as classy as Susan Sarandon.