As wedding anticipation approaches fever pitch, many of you have emailed to ask about the kids: Where are they? Why isn’t she ever with them? If she says she’s a good mother, why doesn’t she spend more time with them? Etc, etc, etc.
Definitely a juicy gossip mystery. Therefore, let’s discuss.
Please note however that Tom and Nicole have done a pretty good job of insulating their children. Some would argue this is a good thing, some would argue not. The bottom line is that there is very little reliable information regarding how they’re kept. So while I cannot tell you definitively what’s going on, I can tell you what I’ve heard, all wrapped in Chinese ass protection language, of course. Fair enough?
First, we begin at the end. The end of their marriage. Neither has confirmed publicly why but you have no doubt heard all the popular theories and just for context, here’s a quick recap:
1. She cheated on him with some dude and got knocked up, hence the miscarriage, and vengeful Tom cut her off before the infamous 10 year mark
2. Three words: Gay.Midget.Dwarf. And three more words: Termination.Of.Contract.
3. Nicole’s desire for a career and an ambition that overshadowed her commitment to her children and her marriage. Proponents of this version of events insist that she became selfish and petulant and that Tom realized he and the children would be better off without her.
4A. His increasing fanaticism for all things Scientology vs. her increasing aversion to all things alien nation.
4B. Her opposition to raising their children according to Church doctrine and a rumoured incident that sparked the split involving Nicole walking in to a weird ritual and a cold chill just ran down my spine and now I’m kind of freaked out because I’m alone in the business centre and it’s nearly midnight and I just heard a weird buzz and maybe Xenu’s are lurking so I won’t go any further but I’m sure you can use your imagination and if this is my last will and testament, please remind my husband of the 5 year rule and make sure that my mother does not get hold of my Tammi Lynn fringed hobo because she was licking her lips with envy at it the last time I went home and I don’t want her to turn it into a mahjong pouch, thank you.
Obviously 4B is where we pick up our narrative. According to supporters of this particular theory (which, for the benefit of the Crazy Cruise legal team, is based on speculation and rumours) Nicole wanted out of the marriage but didn’t have the resources to fight him for the children. And while they publicly announced joint custody, Tom apparently did not trust that she would honour their Scientological upbringing and began to cut her off slowly but surely, to the point where she now supposedly only sees them on special occasions and holidays, if that.
Those who believe this angle also insist that the trauma of losing her kids has eaten away at Nicole’s mental health, thus explaining her heartbreaking addiction to Botox post-divorce and the manhunt she’s been on ever since she’s been single.
However, before you begin sympathizing with Miss Freeze, please note that there is also a large contingent of gossips who say that the absence of the kids in her life is simply because she has chosen it to be so, because she doesn’t want them there. Obsessed with career and fame and romance and staying young – this all consuming existence leaves no room for anything else, let alone two teenagers with demands of their own. From this point of view, it is Tom who is the decent parent and Nicole who has neglected them. Which explains why there have been virtually no sightings and why she’s been free to trot from New York to Nashville to Australia and back again with her manlights and his dry thin lips.
So there you go gossips. As is custom these days in Hollywood, debate your head off and then pick a side. Let me know what you end up with.
As for whether or not Isabella and Connor will attend the wedding – at press time, I’m told they just arrived in Australia from Tokyo and have been taken straight to her Sydney Harbour mansion so yes, it looks like they will indeed be on hand to witness the ceremony which is now expected to go down on Sunday. Word is Nicole has booked off every helicopter around making it virtually impossible for pappies to invade the festivities. And finally, everyone seems to think her dress is a custom Balenciaga, a more bridal themed sister to the one she wore to the Oscars, which has apparently been ready since March when they were originally going to walk down the aisle. Now THAT’s what I’m looking forward to seeing.
More insider scoop for you tomorrow when I should be getting a little bit of insight into Keith’s state of mind during his last days of single status. Stay tuned…