Cancelled or Summoned or Straying?

April 30, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 30, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The official reason is “vocal problems” – Keith Urban cancelling a show, I’m told it will be more than one show, and sources in Nashville are snickering that that’s allegedly code word for allegedly using again…though nothing is slamdunk right now, still working on confirmation, and I suppose it is rather unkind to make the assumption just because he went to rehab, right?

And still the allegations continue.

According to my sources, Keith is supposedly intensely unhappy …which really doesn’t matter. All that matters is that his wife is happy. And she is very, very happy. Or was very, very happy. Because through it all, through wedding and rehab and back again, Nicole Kidman has been portrayed as the infallible wife, the constant companion, the stalwart source of support – his beacon in a time of darkness.

Her image, therefore, glows brighter than ever. And so it allegedly means nothing that his career hasn’t gone supernatural the way it was promised. Disappointing sales, the tour hasn’t been a smash hit – for Keith, his end of the bargain has been decidedly lackluster. And throwing a fraud with the Freeze on top of that hasn’t been all that stimulating either. Allegedly of course.

So with a couple of weeks of freedom, away with the chains of his wife, what’s a caged man to do but shake off the shackles and lose his sh-t for a few days? Allegedly enjoyed several satisfying massages in Germany. Kind of like the ones John Travolta is famous for, c*ckstand included - a hetero version but just as naughty. Some say she found out, allegedly he was summoned for reprogramming, and is getting straightened out right now.

Still working to confirming details, will keep you posted, but suffice to say – Kidman Control is not unlike Cruise Control…

Chills, chills, chills….

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