Team Richie strikes back
February 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at February 21, 2006 12:00:00
The claws are coming out and this time, a member of Team Richie is stepping up and calling Paris out. But first - let’s get one thing straight. Paris Hilton gives great head. She is also reportedly a really great f&ck. But unlike the legions of porn star/non heiress whores before her, she has managed to parlay these Goddess given talents into a headline making career. Nevermind that we don’t know exactly what her job is. Give the girl some credit for landing on the A-minus list simply by virtue of staying on her back with her legs up in the air. The problem for Paris is that in doing so - in establishing herself as a celebrity with no other credentials other than spreading as often and as wide as possible - she is alienating almost every legitimate star in Hollywood beyond the usual slate of party sluts on the club scene. And while Paris clearly doesn’t give a sh*t what an old bat like Shirley MacLaine thinks of her, it appears the criticism is now hitting a little closer to home, coming from the ranks of other well photographed, well recognized young poplets who actually do matter in her incestuous little world. Granted, I don’t think much of Mischa Barton’s acting abilities. At least not the ones I’ve seen on The O.C. I do however give her top style points. And when you consider the notorious assemblage of riffraff that has defined Young Hollywood of late, she doesn’t fare too badly in the class department either. Sure, her taste in men could use some work and yes, of course I’ve heard the rumours of a predilection towards the kind of “happiness” that keeps Jennifer Aniston in size 0 jeans, but hey – in this town, I can think of a lot worse. So Mischa Barton was interviewed by the 3am girls at the UK Daily Mirror the other night and my girl had some fighting words for Paris. Here are the goods straight from her mouth: "Paris isn"t my rival. I met her one or two times and she"s making out there"s this big rivalry between us and there so isn"t. She seems to hate everyone around her age who is more successful. Silly bitch. I tuned into the Brits because I like to know what"s going on in British music and I saw her and I was like "what?", she was coming out with all this ridiculous stuff like "I love London because whatever". Purleese." Oh and the best part? “She DOES steal people’s boyfriends!” Finally! Confirmation at last! And a very, very interesting move from Team Richie which has, for the most part, taken a defense-only approach to this war. So why the sudden aggression? Needless to say, Mischa likely hasn’t gotten over the “fat” comment thrown at her by Nicky Hilton a couple of weeks ago. But there is also a little bit of sabotage going on. As we all know, Paris’s wide reaching ambitions haven’t moved with lightning speed these days. There’s been talk of a highly anticipated full length album which has yet to earn a release date and then there’s her fledgling film career, highlighted by a straight to dvd slasher flick and a thinly disguised Girls Gone Wild sorority movie called Pledge This which still hasn’t graced theatres despite having wrapped ages and ages and ages ago. Perhaps sensing vulnerability in the Hilton bravado, especially since Paris’s book and fragrance sales haven’t exactly reached blockbuster status, Mischa and Co. are launching a subtle attack, and the timing couldn’t be better. Obviously, Paris’s prospects for career longevity don’t look great but while Mischa certainly won’t win an Oscar like ever I think it’s safe to say that with a steady role on tv and respectable movie offers coming in, she’s got a helluva lot more to contribute than her competitive counterpart. Yes, gossips. I am officially on Team Richie, starvation and all. Because I’ll take skin and bones over Paris Hilton’s overstretched and overused vaginal flaps any day of the week.