Three Whisker Charity Case

April 10, 2008 07:48:00 Posted at April 10, 2008 07:48:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The tabloids keep trying – they keep trying to mash up Jennifer Aniston and Three Whiskers Orly Bloom. OK! has now slapped their “romance” on its cover with a story inside about how they were like “two heat seeking missiles” at Eva Longoria’s party. Something about Jen giving Orlando the major makeout eyes, willing him to lean in and slip her the tongue.

And while nothing makes more sense to me than Weepy Jen and Limp Orly, something about this little arrangement stanks of fraud, especially since he supposedly has another girlfriend. A model called Miranda Kerr who is long and leggy and pretty and wholesome and who would do a number on Jen’s fragile ego. She would not step into shoes that tall and thin. Trust.

Why then the incessant push to convince us that they are indeed a couple? Well consider that Orly’s little career needs an injection of something, anything,. resembling success. Poor kid was trying, trying to shed the teenybop love, was fighting his pretty for much much too long, but seems to have finally accepted his fate: squeals and girly fans are all he can hope for. Which is why he’s signed a 3 picture deal for a franchise called The Prince of Persia.

Needless to say, he NEEDS his horny ass female fanbase and a little piece of the MiniVan Majority Pie wouldn’t hurt either.

Enter Jennifer Aniston.

It’s a brilliant move, non? He gets the emotionally stunted estrogen count AND the stroller pushers delivered via every “chick’s” favourite “chick”, and she gets a younger man and public reassurance that, pushing 40, she is indeed still desirable.

Jennifer Aniston, back to the fraud. Love, love, love.

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