Worst Speech, Worst Depp: Orlando Bloom
August 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 21, 2006 12:00:00
No charisma, zero sense of humour, completely pissed on his balls after a lame joke about sweating, and to top it all off, those 3 whiskers are even more pronounced than usual. Not even his English accent could save him from tonight. And to think there are some who have actually labelled him The Heir? Please. Beyond those who’ve barely cleared puberty or those who’ll never clear gay, I find it hard to believe this man inspires anything more than maternal instinct. Orly Bloom? I’d make him a sandwich and drive him to pre-school before I’d ever consider quivering my loins. And that is a promise.