Orlando Bloom Gossip

Orlando Bloom gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Three Whiskers gets a haircut

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 24, 2007 12:00:00 January 24, 2007 12:00:00

A big improvement actually – definitely a step in the right direction. You can’t change who you are, you know? And since he’ll never be a manly man, best to embrace the eternal boy within – the boy with inadequate facial hair and an overpowering air of Fem. But while it’s wonderful to see that Bloomy is accepting the inevitable, it’s still a challenge to understand what in ass Penelope Cruz is doing with him. Full Story

Pene pre-nom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 14, 2006 12:00:00 December 14, 2006 12:00:00

Wednesday night at the Art of Elysium event, a tad too socialite but still a lady among the other little girls who showed and seriously…I want you to look at Penelope Cruz and tell me: what the hell would a woman like this want with Three Whiskers Orlando Bloom? Please. Source Full Story

Three Whiskers and The Lion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 13, 2006 12:00:00 December 13, 2006 12:00:00

Look how it wilts against Leo. Orly de-whiskered of late, with a true heavyweight at the Ecofabulous Party Benefiting Global Green yesterday, perhaps getting some helpful pointers about how to evolve from teen scream to legitimate actor beyond sprouting a few sparsely placed chin hairs. But is it too late? If he couldn’t live up to the manly quotient for the Crusades, how will he ever overcome the whimpering whisker? Definitely a career crossroads for Orlando Bloom. Full Story

Penelope Cruz: gorgessity in black

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2006 12:00:00 November 14, 2006 12:00:00

In NYC last night for a screening of Volver. No word on whether or not she’s attending the wedding that could have been hers but I’m hoping she’ll offer a pass. I’m also hoping she’ll start distancing herself from the word of the Hubbard – nearly three years after their split, she still seems to sing scientological praises whenever she’s asked, indicative of the true lasting power of the Church’s implant – perhaps even more lethal than the time triggered bomb used so expertly in MI:3, which pretty much means that Katie’s in it for at least a decade. Full Story

George Clooney: THE Man"s Man

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2006 12:00:00 October 24, 2006 12:00:00

And THE Ladies" Man. And THE Gay"s Man. But today, George is THE Man"s Man. Forget the pansy haired McDreamy, forget the Three Whiskers of Bloom, forget even Brad Pitt and Jake Gyllenhall. According to men, George is THE MAN, ranked #1 in a survey of real men, average men asked by AskMen.com to name the "best representatives" of their gender, a million votes were cast and one George emerged. Full Story

The Departed & The Leo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 10, 2006 12:00:00 October 10, 2006 12:00:00

If you haven"t seen it and you intend to see it, STOP READING NOW, spoilers ahead… Thank Goddess - an almost faithful clone of Infernal Affairs, save the introduction of one character for the purpose of wrapping things up in a neat Hollywood bow. And that, aside from Jack Nicholson"s occasional bout of overacting, is the only flaw. Full Story

The Daily Nelly: Three Whiskers is hottie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 25, 2006 12:00:00 September 25, 2006 12:00:00

For the record, I do not think that Orlando Bloom is gay. I do however think he"s a bit of a Nelly. And if you don"t know what a Nelly is, it must mean you don"t have a main gay. And if you don"t have a main gay, I suggest you go find one and stat... because it means your life is seriously lacking. Have a read - from an online interview Orly did with People Magazine recently to promote his new movie, a sure straight to video release called Haven. Full Story

Orly & Kate: The End of Three Whiskers & The Pole

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 6, 2006 12:00:00 September 6, 2006 12:00:00

Oh goody! Can the maybe gaybe talk begin anew??? As reported by Us Weekly Orlando Bloom is back to whimpering himself to sleep in a bed made for one, the second time they’ve split over the course of their 4 year relationship. And while reasons for the break up have not been made public, it ain’t hard to see the DISattraction from both ends. Full Story

Worst Speech, Worst Depp: Orlando Bloom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 21, 2006 12:00:00 August 21, 2006 12:00:00

No charisma, zero sense of humour, completely pissed on his balls after a lame joke about sweating, and to top it all off, those 3 whiskers are even more pronounced than usual. Not even his English accent could save him from tonight. And to think there are some who have actually labelled him The Heir? Please. Full Story

Hot Harry and the Hooters

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2006 12:00:00 August 16, 2006 12:00:00

This is why I love the London Sun , a paper with a smutty soul, keenly aware that we"d much rather see Hot Harry cupping a tit than Beaver Buck Wills boring someone with his bald spot. According to TMZ the royals are not disputing the legitimacy of the photos, but they do claim that they are old, 3 years old in fact, well before his relationship with Chelsy, well before his yearlong commitment to her. Full Story