The opening night red carpet is now underway in Cannes. Here’s how it works at the Palais: The non-festival people usually arrive first. This includes Euro actors, models, Eva Longoria most years, and people like Phoebe Price. They blast loud music out from the speakers to entertain the massive crowds that line the Croisette. Full Story

Chris Evans is not on my Five List. So while he may have the title of the movie, he doesn’t get the title of my post. Not when Scarlett Johansson and Anthony Mackie are around. Here they are shooting Captain America: The Winter Soldier in Washington, DC yesterday. Why does Falcon have to wear a sweatshirt? Why can’t they put him in a skin-tight tee? Why can’t I be the one laughing at his jokes? And when you think Natasha Romanoff, do you think this hair? I don’t understand it at all. Full Story

It’s expensive. It’s awkward. It’s web-based. We must be talking GOOP here, right? Right. Over on Groupon this week, for the low low LOW (ie. high high HIGH) price of $2000 you can join the official “all-inclusive” GOOP NY Getaway. Full Story

They’re making a film adaptation of Into The Woods directed by Rob Marshall. Meryl Streep and Johnny Depp are already attached. Apparently Jake Gyllenhaal and Chris Pine are now in talks to join them...? That’s looking like an impressive cast, not unlike the one Marshall put together for Nine a few years ago. Full Story

Page Six has a really hilarious story about people hitting on Katie Holmes on the set of Mania Days in New York. Apparently “she’s been asked out seven times”... By crew members and extras! According to the report, the men are “just chancing it”, the way they would, I dunno, at a bar or something. Full Story

The book was good. The movie was sh-t. Really, really terrible. When was the last time you saw a good romance? A proper romance. Not a romantic scene in a movie that isn't a romance but a movie that's intended to be romantic. Or a romantic comedy. It's been a while. I've been waiting a while. Full Story

Prince Harry continued his tour of America yesterday in New York and New Jersey, visiting with Hurricane Sandy victims, accompanied by Governor Chris Christie. These Wales boys were bred to wear the sh-t out of a white shirt, non? Even when he’s playing baseball. Harry was on the diamond in Harlem having fun with the kids, although they didn’t seem to give him a glove. Full Story

Joss Whedon, God of Nerds, was, pre-Avengers, best known for genre TV fare like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the criminally cancelled Firefly. Then Marvel came knocking and he hasn’t had a TV show since Dollhouse (the one thing he’s done that I could not make myself like) got canned in 2010. Full Story

Brad Pitt’s mother, Jane Pitt, released a statement re: Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy yesterday: “We’re so very proud of Angie, this means so much to our family especially our grandchildren. We love her dearly.” Like her son, she’s using Jolie’s nickname here. Full Story

Anna! Congratulations on Esme’s arrival! GossipCon loves you and is so excited and can’t wait to start training her! To Joanna -- I’m sorry about the sh-tty start to your year, literally! Without knowing your specific sign and birth times, it’s hard to prescribe a feng shui game plan to change your luck. Full Story