Aziz, Jesse, red dots, and c-nts

August 9, 2011 07:31:00 Posted at August 9, 2011 07:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg attended the LA premiere of 30 Minutes or Less last night. It opens on Friday. I’ve attached the second red band trailer below. I won’t lie. I really, really want to see this movie and laugh my sh-t out. A lot. I really, really wish I hadn’t seen the part in the trailer below when Aziz slaps Jesse in the ear. Full Story

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August 9, 2011 - Smutty Shout-Outs

August 9, 2011 06:53:16 Posted at August 9, 2011 06:53:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Katie! Happy Belated 8-8-11 Birthday! You don’t have to beg… but next year tell me earlier! Birthday Wishes to B from V and have fun next year at Comic-Con together where, I’m told, you’re hoping to party with Chris Evans? I am hoping for this too. For you, I mean. And when it happens, ask him how he could have possibly dated Shelfy Jessica Biel. Full Story

Monday, August 8, 2011

Dear Gossips,

Only managed to fit in the last half an hour or so of the Teen Choice Awards because I was too caught up watching Steve Williams telling Tiger Woods to suck it from at least 12 different angles. Was it the classiest move ever? Please.  Read Full Intro

Ron, Cedric, Draco - Accio 2005!

August 8, 2011 13:31:22 Posted at August 8, 2011 13:31:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A reader called Tina just sent me a photo of a little Harry Potter reunion that happened at the Teen Choice Awards last night. I opened the message to find Rupert Grint, Robert Pattinson, and Tom Felton gathered backstage. Cute, right? (Lorella - check the slope.) Anyway, then I started wondering when a picture like this last happened. Full Story

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Peaches’s Boyfriend: I want his everything

August 8, 2011 12:44:00 Posted at August 8, 2011 12:44:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I have a thing for Peaches Geldof. I know this will amount to nothing, and that no matter how hard she tries to make herself happen, she probably won’t happen, but that doesn’t change the fact that though no one else cares about her, I do. Peaches is all skinny and sickly blonde now and she may be engaged to her boyfriend Thomas Cohen, a musician, of course, who is reportedly sick in love with her and very, very jealous and possessive, and they apparently can’t stand to be apart. Full Story

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Porcelain to Porcine

August 8, 2011 12:08:33 Posted at August 8, 2011 12:08:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There is no art to saying someone looks like a pig. It’s not clever and it’s not original. There is, then, no intent here to snark on Nicole Kidman. The reason I’m saying she looks like a pig is because, well, she actually looks like a pig. She wasn’t, of course, born looking like a pig. Full Story

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Facebook love, Facebook work, Facebook fights

August 8, 2011 11:47:26 Posted at August 8, 2011 11:47:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Sasha Dear Sasha,I recently struck up a Facebook situation with a dude called Z. Even though we'd never met, I accepted Z's friend request. Before long, Z became regular fixture on my Facebook; 'liking' my updates, dropping witty comments, etc in a non-skeevy way. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

August 8, 2011 11:33:44 Posted at August 8, 2011 11:33:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been a lot more than 7 hours and 15 days (Dlisted)

Sometimes a one piece is so much sexier than a bikini (The Superficial)

Colin Farrell shouts out his son (Celebedge)

I wonder if I’d like Avril’s shoes more if someone else were wearing them (Hollywood Tuna)

Ryan Gosling, a blonde boyfriend (Pop Sugar)

Taylor & Taylor together again! (Just Jared)

What was up with all the Glee this weekend? (Cele|bitchy)

Gaga goes to Britney (Socialite Life)

What’s worse? A pilot drinking in flight or getting blown? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Apparently some f-cking idiot is paying each of these twats a million to attend a party (I'm Not Obsessed)

Prison Bride & Albert: Photo Assumption the Dance

August 8, 2011 10:33:10 Posted at August 8, 2011 10:33:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Prince Albert of Monaco and his Serene Prisoner Charlene Wittstock attended the Red Cross Ball in Monte Carlo the other night. She tried to look…happier. And many people have noted that she does indeed look less …tortured?... than she did on her wedding day and after. Really? I don’t see it. Full Story

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Brange Family at the show & the Chosen One’s tooth

August 8, 2011 10:06:36 Posted at August 8, 2011 10:06:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maddox is 10. Jesus, that seems old to me. The Jolie has a 10 year old kid. Remember, at the age of 9, Noah Cyrus, Miley’s sister, was dancing up on a pole at a party. So there’s that. 10 just isn’t what it used to be, you know? Anyway, here they all are, in London on Saturday after a performance of Wicked, and Brad looks f-cking hot in his clothes and Angelina looks gross in the legs, and they are looking at each other all happy for the cameras and . Full Story

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Colin makes Jessica smile?

August 8, 2011 09:36:35 Posted at August 8, 2011 09:36:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been a month since Justin Timberlake was spotted in Toronto visiting Jessica Biel, leading her to believe, and subsequently tell people, that he was taking her back. He then took off for the Friends With Benefits press tour and proceeded to announce that he’s single. Though they were both at Comic-Con, a day apart, word is there was no time to meet. Full Story