Smutty Tingles

December 28, 2010 13:17:31 Posted at December 28, 2010 13:17:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

William and Kate will scrub their own toilets (Dlisted)

Bar Christmas without Leo. Cue up the breakup rumours (The Superficial)

WHAT????? You’re telling me there was no one more interesting than her ass in 2010??? (Popeater)

I honestly don’t know why anyone would want breasts like this (Hollywood Tuna)

George Clooney’s Christmas present from The Italian Queen: a flesh coloured bikini (Pop Sugar)

Thor marries Adrien Brody’s ex. Well that didn’t take long. Was there a shotgun at that wedding? (Just Jared)

Lilo’s out in a week. Where’s she moving? (Cele|bitchy)

Three Whiskers Orly gets butchy! (Socialite Life)

Were JLove and Samantha Micelli ever on a show together? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Courteney Cox tries to convince you she’s not f-cking her co-star (I'm Not Obsessed)

Season’s Greetings from The Chosen One

December 28, 2010 10:48:32 Posted at December 28, 2010 10:48:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like I said in the open, every time I’m offline for a day or two, or hop on a plane for a long haul flight, I live in fear of missing a big story, the biggest story being that the Brange will implode. It’s the Hollywood equivalent of a stock market crash, or a government collapse. It would usher in a new celebrity world order in the aftermath of great upheaval. Full Story

She’s not allowed to have friends

December 28, 2010 10:26:00 Posted at December 28, 2010 10:26:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’ve been meaning to gather the Best Twi-Hard Hatemail of 2010 for a year-end post but last night my laptop decided to be a bitch and die after I plugged it into the tv. The motherf-cker isn’t even 6 months old. Jacek has been trying to recover my data all night. So I have no access to my inbox, just webmail (accessing only emails over the last 24 hours), and I’m using his laptop which was my previous laptop. Full Story

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Natalie Portman will be pregnant at the Oscars

December 28, 2010 08:52:00 Posted at December 28, 2010 08:52:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Natalie Portman confirmed this weekend that she and choreographer/dancer Benjamin Millepied are expecting and engaged. Portman is considered a lock for a Best Actress Oscar nomination. And she’s been workin’ it a lot more than Annette Bening too. Perhaps a baby will be enough to overcome No Strings Attached, her upcoming January release with Ashton Kutcher. Full Story

Skinny doesn’t cure stupid

December 28, 2010 08:15:26 Posted at December 28, 2010 08:15:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kelly Osbourne has spent the last several months telling us how much happier she is now that she’s skinny. Well now there’s a great message. Unfortunately, thinness in this case, and in most cases, doesn’t necessarily lead to enlightenment. And slender Kelly seems to be as stupid as not-slender Kelly, especially as it relates to matters of the heart. Full Story

Ryan Gosling: home for the holidays

December 28, 2010 07:29:08 Posted at December 28, 2010 07:29:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thanks to Jackie for sending along this photo of Ryan Gosling taken this weekend at a Best Buy in Burlington, Ontario. He came home for the holiday. He actually comes home more than you think. He’s just stealth about his movements and savvy enough to stay off the pap radar at LAX. It’s possible. Full Story

Daniel & Rachel’s funky timeline

December 28, 2010 07:08:16 Posted at December 28, 2010 07:08:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

After several weeks of speculations, we know now that TMZ was right. When they broke news that Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky were splitting, they also very subtly suggested that Daniel Craig was behind it: “…sources tell TMZ Rachel has been linked to "James Bond" star Daniel Craig for months. Full Story

December 28, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

December 28, 2010 06:55:37 Posted at December 28, 2010 06:55:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

To the lovely Dibbs, Mo and La are deeply sorry they couldn’t be there to see you turn 30 at the Fond-Luck Fiesta. Hope you had a fantastic birthday! Much love and big hugs! XOXO (Attached as requested: photos of “classic” Joaquin Phoenix before the world found out he’s a dickhead. Full Story

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Dear Gossips,

If you open up a gift tomorrow and it sucks and you think you can win the gift suck-off, consider how it stacks up to what my mother gave me 3 years ago: eyedrops from Costco. So she went to Costco for toilet paper. And while there spotted my favourite brand of eyedrops. And as an afterthought threw a box of them in the cart. In other words, her present sucked on multiple levels. First, obviously, eyedrops. And second, you can’t even say it’s the thought that counts. There was no thought. There was only eyedrops that came after toilet paper.

This year my ma the Squawking Chicken is in Hong Kong terrorising the good folks over there. We’ll be in Vancouver while our nephews Oliver and Noah, 12 and 10, make us Christmas brunch. They offered. It’ll be quesadillas. Because this is what they learned in cooking class at school. Please. What’s Christmas without a Christmas quesadilla when the children work to prepare it and you don’t have to lift a finger?

Wishing all of you Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, Happy Everything!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Blog will resume regular schedule on Tuesday, December 28.

Smutty Tingles

December 24, 2010 10:56:16 Posted at December 24, 2010 10:56:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Zac Efron parts with his precious locks (Dlisted)

Dimensionally defying ass... for Christmas (The Superficial)

What. The. F-CK did they do to Kate Middleton’s face?!? (Popeater)

Eliza Dushku should be more famous (Hollywood Tuna)

Britney’s quick trip to NYC before Christmas (Pop Sugar)

JLo looks great in these jeans (Just Jared)

Courteney Cox’s Christmas man replacement (Cele|bitchy)

Anna Paquin’s pre-Christmas jog (Moe Jackson)

Miley as a pink debutante (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Lady Gaga doesn’t wear pants but gives back A LOT (Celebuzz)