Met Spider Girls – Emma Stone & Kirsten Dunst

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 11:19:10 May 3, 2011 11:19:10

Whoever makes the decisions up there, the governing power pulling the fate strings, she is a Bitch. She is a bitch who keeps giving us little gifts. It is during these times, these times of fashion and red carpets, that I know for sure we are not alone. How else could you explain this? Kirsten Dunst was once the Girl for Spider-Man. Full Story

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Met Pathetic: Kristen Bell

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 11:04:11 May 3, 2011 11:04:11

And... sadly... Isla Fisher. There are so many things I cherish about my friend Laura but nothing more than the glee with which she hates on Kristen Bell. Laura is also my producer – in Cannes, at the Oscars, all over the world including Sundance where we forever bonded over mutual eye roll for Kristen Bell who, as you know, is barely anyone, but stalked around that place like she was too good to stop, and claimed she didn’t want to be cared about. Full Story

Met Worst Sateen: Madonna

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 10:29:58 May 3, 2011 10:29:58

Stella McCartney is obviously trying to stay out of it, whatever it is between Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna. She dressed them both. Madonna however did not sit with Stella and her usual girls. G and Stella were with Kate Hudson and Rashida Jones and Iman and I think Rihanna, while Madonna was...elsewhere. Full Story

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Best Met Colour: Jennifer Lopez

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 10:16:12 May 3, 2011 10:16:12

I already know we’re going to fight about this. We might fight about this harder than anything else we fight about all day. Because I get it, you hate the f-ckin’ floral shrug. You’re offended by the floral shrug. It’s not my favourite, no, I’m not going to sit here and defend it, no, but it doesn’t bother me as much as the sh-tness of Kate Hudson’s skanky looking weave. Full Story

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Best Met Sateen: Freida Pinto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 10:03:46 May 3, 2011 10:03:46

You know sateen can be trouble as a rule. At etalk our producers have a no sateen policy when it comes to live events. Especially Michelle. You’ve already heard me too many times complaining about imaginary lumps and bumps. Even here, on Freida Pinto, there are a few. Without the workmanship of Karl’s slaves, it could have been worse. Full Story

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Met Chaise: Kristen Stewart

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 09:45:42 May 3, 2011 09:45:42

Well, the back is certainly better than the front. To me the zigzag on it though might be a little extra, kinda like crinkle cut fries, and unnecessary with all the business happening in the pattern, but it’s definitely an improvement on the front which is too heavy across the chest, not flattering at all. Full Story

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Met Glee-off: Dianna Agron & Lea Michele

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 09:28:02 May 3, 2011 09:28:02

How did they both end up in red? They can try to convince me until they’re red in the face that they did it “on purpose” but there is no way I’d believe it. I would however totally buy it if you tell me in two weeks that they’ll have a throwdown about it at work. Who won the red match? I don’t love red dresses ever, but for this battle, I’m taking Agron’s Michael Kors. Full Story

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Met Back-Hard Pose-Hard: Renee Zellweger

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 09:09:20 May 3, 2011 09:09:20

As I’ve already noted on previous occasions, it is not a relaxing exercise watching Renee Zellweger posing on a carpet. So much effort is involved. The first time I covered the Costume Institute Gala it was with my friend Lara – hi Lara!!! – and we were obviously jerking off over every single arrival and I remember standing beside Lara as Renee was doing her thing, and afterwards, after she had ducked into the doors, both of unconsciously started rolling our shoulders and turning our necks, as if we needed a massage, just from seeing Renee lock her body into place for the cameras. Full Story

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Met Disappointing: Naomi Watts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 08:48:02 May 3, 2011 08:48:02

Jesus. What just happened? I can see the seam on the shoulder because it’s sheer overlay which... gross. As in from the bowels of bad bridal, you know? All of it. From the belt to the cascading bedazzlement and again the no-colourness that seemed to prevail last night, this is not Naomi Watts at her best. Full Story

Except for Daphne Guinness ...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 08:34:00 May 3, 2011 08:34:00

This is a continuation of the thought expressed in the SJP article. About no one really bringing it. But for Daphne Guinness. She’s 43. An artist, an heiress, once married to a Greek shipping tycoon, these are the people who exist on yachts and in castles, who can afford to scoff at the lowly celebrity and her need to hustle even though their own lives are filled with the kind of depravity money is supposed to clean. Full Story

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Met Sober: SJP

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2011 08:21:46 May 3, 2011 08:21:46

I mean sober as in serious, but I can understand why you might think it’s the other way. Her husband however wasn’t ignoring her as her date last night. So there’s that. It was no surprise that Sarah Jessica Parker chose McQueen last night to honour the late designer. Some of her most memorable red carpet appearances were courtesy of McQueen. Full Story

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