Daniel & Rachel’s funky timeline

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2010 07:08:16 December 28, 2010 07:08:16

After several weeks of speculations, we know now that TMZ was right. When they broke news that Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky were splitting, they also very subtly suggested that Daniel Craig was behind it: “…sources tell TMZ Rachel has been linked to "James Bond" star Daniel Craig for months. Full Story

December 28, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2010 06:55:37 December 28, 2010 06:55:37

To the lovely Dibbs, Mo and La are deeply sorry they couldn’t be there to see you turn 30 at the Fond-Luck Fiesta. Hope you had a fantastic birthday! Much love and big hugs! XOXO (Attached as requested: photos of “classic” Joaquin Phoenix before the world found out he’s a dickhead. Full Story

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Dear Gossips,

If you open up a gift tomorrow and it sucks and you think you can win the gift suck-off, consider how it stacks up to what my mother gave me 3 years ago: eyedrops from Costco. So she went to Costco for toilet paper. And while there spotted my favourite brand of eyedrops. And as an afterthought threw a box of them in the cart. In other words, her present sucked on multiple levels. First, obviously, eyedrops. And second, you can’t even say it’s the thought that counts. There was no thought. There was only eyedrops that came after toilet paper.

This year my ma the Squawking Chicken is in Hong Kong terrorising the good folks over there. We’ll be in Vancouver while our nephews Oliver and Noah, 12 and 10, make us Christmas brunch. They offered. It’ll be quesadillas. Because this is what they learned in cooking class at school. Please. What’s Christmas without a Christmas quesadilla when the children work to prepare it and you don’t have to lift a finger?

Wishing all of you Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, Happy Everything!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Blog will resume regular schedule on Tuesday, December 28.

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2010 10:56:16 December 24, 2010 10:56:16

Zac Efron parts with his precious locks (Dlisted)

Dimensionally defying ass... for Christmas (The Superficial)

What. The. F-CK did they do to Kate Middleton’s face?!? (Popeater)

Eliza Dushku should be more famous (Hollywood Tuna)

Britney’s quick trip to NYC before Christmas (Pop Sugar)

JLo looks great in these jeans (Just Jared)

Courteney Cox’s Christmas man replacement (Cele|bitchy)

Anna Paquin’s pre-Christmas jog (Moe Jackson)

Miley as a pink debutante (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Lady Gaga doesn’t wear pants but gives back A LOT (Celebuzz)

You’re allowed to drive for Christmas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2010 08:27:56 December 24, 2010 08:27:56

With a chaperone. At least that looks like a chaperone. With Katie Holmes. Yesterday leaving the gym. The photo agencies are calling her companion a “friend”, but you know, where Xenu is concerned, only “approved” friends are allowed. So this friend must be Church-friendly, and can you really call that a real friend? Well, small victories, I suppose. Full Story

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dear Gossips,

If you don’t own it already, this Christmas I hope you get a copy of Jay-Z’s Decoded, because it’s probably too late to buy it yourself now. He’s sold out everywhere. It’s not a book, at least for me, that you whip through in a night even though you could.  Read Full Intro

Gwyneth’s ex talk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 23, 2010 13:49:37 December 23, 2010 13:49:37

As evidenced by her namechecking Brad Pitt in Vogue recently – click here for a refresher - Gwyneth is hustling hard for Country Strong. In service of that effort, she’s also referencing Ben Affleck. Here’s something else that G gets to lord over everyone: she always get them at their peak. Full Story

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Hanging out off hours

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 23, 2010 11:01:00 December 23, 2010 11:01:00

SNL’s Seth Meyers and Jason Sudeikis were courtside at the Knicks game last night. I like it that they spend time together outside of work. I don’t know, celebrity friends just make me happy, although I do wonder how tight they are. Because I’ve heard loose reports that Jason can be kinda dicky. Full Story