Best Globe Breasts: Christina & Mimi

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 07:30:49 January 18, 2010 07:30:49

It was a motorboating extravaganza. Big ups to Christina Hendricks for refusing to conform, for refusing to downsize her curves. Much respect to Christina Hendricks for being able to carry those badboys around with toppling. And doing so without looking obscene. Some broads with their big tits, they cannot be anything but Porny. Full Story

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Best Third Lip: Courteney Cox

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 07:08:59 January 18, 2010 07:08:59

Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Full Story

Worst Face: Toni Collette

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:50:45 January 18, 2010 06:50:45

Egregious. Offensive. Horrifying. Foundation abuse? Frying pan? Lindsay Lohan? Not sure. But Toni Collette deserves better than this. So much better. How does this happen? How can you go to the Golden Globes without proper lighting? It’s unforgivable. It’s totally unacceptable. And the only saving grace about it all is that she shut down Courteney Cox. Full Story

Worst Speech (other than J Cameron):Drew Barrymore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:37:10 January 18, 2010 06:37:10

Ugh. Like shut up already. And she didn’t thank Jessica Lange. Who deserved it so much more. I was never a fan of Drew’s Little Edie. Am definitely not a fan of her dress last night. It was Atelier Versace. It was not Anna Wintour at the Costume Institute Gala. There was a theme back then. Full Story

Best Glee: Dianna Agron

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:16:01 January 18, 2010 06:16:01

Am relieved for her. Because you know, leading up to the Globes, Dianna Agron was bringing some assy styles. Peach and lace and f-cked up shoes and ankle length dresses... I was worried about last night. Last turned out to be OK. Grey and subtle and not overly dramatic, an appropriate dress for the occasion and for her position. Full Story

Worst Imitation of Penelope Cruz: Lea Michele

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:04:00 January 18, 2010 06:04:00

We need to retire this dress for a long time. Penelope herself has worn it too many times. Her pretenders are lining up in a long list of Boring behind her. With embarrassing results. Some photo agencies actually labelled Lea “Penelope Cruz” on their databases last night. See? Lea may not have won for Best Actress Comedy but she certainly takes home the Kate Beckinsale Award for too much TRY. Full Story

Worst Globes Sag: Carey Mulligan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:58:59 January 18, 2010 05:58:59

Carey did not bring Shia. Boo. Carey lost to Sandra Bullock. Boo. Not that I don’t love Sandy. I do. But The Blind Side was not An Education. There was no comparing the performances. Perhaps Carey’s loss was predicted by her sagging tits. Oh honey, give ‘em a hitch. Duana, Michelle, and I we wanted to do it for her. Full Story

Quietest Globe Beard: George Clooney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:51:00 January 18, 2010 05:51:00

George has other things on his mind. Like, bless him, the Haiti telethon on January 22nd. But George arrived, always the consummate star, signed autographs for the bleacher fans, and his Italian Queen by his side. Would have been the moment of all moments if we could have seen George introduce Elisabetta Canalis to Julia Roberts, non? But they haven’t thought of it yet. Full Story

Best Globe Beard: Jon Hamm

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:45:53 January 18, 2010 05:45:53

Better than the Brad Pitt beard, yes. And this is not a blind riddle clue. Because Jon Hamm’s beard is all man and sex and hot. HE is all man and sex and hot. But... we need to talk about the girlfriend. We weren’t feeling her on our liveblog. We weren’t feeling her attempts at camera time. Full Story

Golden Globes 2010 Wrap-up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:34:48 January 18, 2010 05:34:48

WHO’s NATALIE??????????????????? As Duana noted during our live blog, that sealed it for us right there. No matter what happened after, Julia Roberts’s dismissal of “Natalie” made our lives. Some of you were not watching NBC’s Globes preshow so you missed the moment. “Natalie” is Natalie Morales. Full Story

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January 18, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:19:20 January 18, 2010 05:19:20

Jen from Sacramento says "Thanks God" for my roommate Amanda. The only person who is allowed to dress up as me for Halloween (see photo), my bridesmaid partner in crime, and the best roommate ever for being brave enough to kill giant spiders when I am being a big chicken. Happy Belated Birthday Caroline! Heard last week was rough. Full Story