51 year old ass

August 17, 2009 11:19:06 Posted at August 17, 2009 11:19:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is what it looks like. Madonna turned 51 yesterday, celebrated at a dinner party in Portofino seated beside her petting toy Jesus Luz. In the soft candlelight, and having chilled out a little on the face work, Madge easily, from this blurry pap distance, looks 10 years younger. Does Jesus ever smile? For some reason this sentence made me laugh. Full Story

View All 14 Photos

Smutty Tingles

August 17, 2009 10:59:16 Posted at August 17, 2009 10:59:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Leo D does the douchebag hand signal (Dlisted)

Ridiculous. (Hollywood Tuna)

Pippy plays golf in baby blue (Just Jared)

What to buy a useless f-ck for his birthday (The Superficial)

George Clooney wearing the sh-t out of a pair of white pants (Pop Sugar)

Thinnification of Geri begins again (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Russian Emma. Love. (INO)

Hugh Grant is a neurotic mess (Cele|bitchy)

Anti Drug Campaign: Watch this once, but only to see Aaron Carter’s craters. Show your children. (ICYDK)

Brad Pitt on pot and politics and I love him in an open neck shirt (PopEater)

Chicken Fried Haircuts

August 17, 2009 09:34:17 Posted at August 17, 2009 09:34:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My friend Duana once made the observation – why don’t Britney’s kids ever age? They do always look the same, non? Could be because Jayden James looks so much like his big brother Sean Preston, and they were only born 12 months apart almost to the day, so not only does one year seem like two, but it’s also difficult to tell which is which. Full Story

View All 23 Photos

Porny the judge

August 17, 2009 08:09:38 Posted at August 17, 2009 08:09:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

All star Inception

August 17, 2009 07:21:00 Posted at August 17, 2009 07:21:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Fresh off a break in Ibiza, Leonardo DiCapri is now in Paris shooting scenes for Inception with Ellen Page and Marion Cotillard directed by Christopher Nolan. The plot for Inception is being kept super secret, no details were provided only that the studio described it as “a contemporary sci-fi thriller set within the architecture of the mind”. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

GOOPy is a punchline

August 17, 2009 06:48:31 Posted at August 17, 2009 06:48:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Once upon a time she sat at the cool kids’ table, repeatedly asked back to host Saturday Night Live, a favourite of Lorne Michaels, stuck up and condescending always, but a great sense of humour and privy to the inside joke. Gwyneth Paltrow, since marriage and motherhood and sanctimonious GOOP living, is not only no longer privy to the inside joke, she’s now the subject of the joke. Full Story

August 17, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

August 17, 2009 06:32:00 Posted at August 17, 2009 06:32:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy birthday to Kathy T our Polish princess who shares her birthday with Madonna. Like Madge, you just get better with age! Love Krista & Stacy To Laurie – sorry I missed the shout-out last week for your birthday. Happy Belated Birthday! Here’s some Colin Farrell on set last week to offer as an apology. Full Story

View All 8 Photos
Friday, August 14, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Went out for dinner with the girls last night. After several martinis we started composing celebrity haikus. After that we switched to a bawdy game of Would You Rather sex with some of the most disgusting people we know. Somewhere along the way the bartender became the hottest guy ever. But Laura would not oblige us and make it happen. The evening ended with 3 of us ganging up on her because she wouldn’t pick Ryan Gosling. More on this later, as well as the haikus.

So this is why I’m up late and the column is behind. Too many vodka doubles.

It’s Friday – am online all day, late articles were posted yesterday, scroll down to get caught up and to look at Posh’s weird nasty face.

Have a great weekend!

Lara’s getting married!

Yours in gossip,


Hot Friday Hot Harry

August 14, 2009 16:03:11 Posted at August 14, 2009 16:03:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It is so f-cking hot here in Toronto. And this is Hot Harry on a Horse not on a horse at a wedding in London with his brother and also Kate Middleton. I was married on a Friday. My mother consulted a feng shui master for the date. And that Friday was deemed a fortuitous day according to our birthdays and birth times. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Autotune Aniston

August 14, 2009 14:17:58 Posted at August 14, 2009 14:17:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh she wants it bad. Last week I posted this article about Jennifer Aniston’s new role in Goree Girls, the true story about a female inmate country band from the 40s, questioning whether she’ll be willing to get ugly for Oscar. Full Story

Robo sells at Maxfield?

August 14, 2009 11:24:49 Posted at August 14, 2009 11:24:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

…the f-ck??? For those who’ve never been to Maxfield in West Hollywood… Super ultra luxe. Like crazy crazy luxe. I once became obsessed with a Rick Owens jacket there and Jacek told me I could jump up his ass because it would have meant not making our car payments for 6 months. Maxfield is a store filled with beautiful things. Full Story

View All 10 Photos