December 4, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 4, 2009 06:50:03 December 4, 2009 06:50:03

Happy Birthday Viv from Kirsten who thanks you for another year of friendship and applauds you for keeping your Twi-Hard in check. I understand these are anxious times for you re: Gwyneth and Chris. Picture a single GOOP in her late 30s trying to reinvent. Should make for at least 2 or 3 appropriately nauseating newsletters. Full Story

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The Tiger Woods mess continues to dominate headlines. Meanwhile Britney Spears turned 28 rather uneventfully. In fact, while Woods covers every tabloid and will continue to do so through today as one of his extramarital broads is holding a presser, Britney is covering the new issue of Elle, a shoot styled by Joe Zee with her children.  Read Full Intro

The Italian Queen now and then

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 15:36:04 December 3, 2009 15:36:04

Yesterday Elisabetta Canalis went shopping in Hollywood with a friend, enjoying her stay in Los Angeles on George Clooney’s dime. He needs her more than ever now. And she has worked for him so far. Clooney was named today by the National Board of Review as this year’s Best Actor putting him back in the lead temporarily in the Oscar race. Full Story

She always comes through…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 15:28:48 December 3, 2009 15:28:48

When I need her. It’s been a rough week work-wise and other. Also I’ve been training like a fiend and “eating healthy” pre-holidays which means chicken every day, hate chicken to begin with, and nothing greasy and certainly no fried rice. Where is the joy? There is no joy. But Mimi brings the joy. Full Story

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GOOPy and Blair Waldorf

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 13:06:16 December 3, 2009 13:06:16

2009 was a light year for Gwyneth on the work front. By the way, her last film Two Lovers was just named by the National Board of Review as one of the Top 10 independent films of the year. But Gwyneth, in the midst of rumoured marital discord, will be looking ahead to a very busy 2010 that includes promotion for Iron Man 2, working with Nicole Kidman on The Danish Girl, and now a new project has just been announced. Full Story

Pink and BitchFace

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 12:13:07 December 3, 2009 12:13:07

I’ve seen a lot of BitchFace in my day. And Reese Witherspoon’s BitchFace ranks as one of the top BitchFaces in the business. She will cut you with her eye and make you wish you’d never been born. She will curl her upper lip into a sneer that will chill your soul and send you running for butter. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 11:17:00 December 3, 2009 11:17:00

See? JailBait Miley Cyrus is f-ckbombing your kids! (Dlisted)

Tiger is BLEEDING MONEY (The Superficial)

The Mighty Oprah wants to help Tiger (Popeater)

Remember when Sofia Vergara supposedly dated Tom Cruise? Heh. (Hollywood Tuna)

Johnny Depp owns the decade (Just Jared)

Penelope Cruz looks SO good in Interview, Jacek is very distracted (Pop Sugar)

Cam eats ice cream in skinny jeans. Bitch. (INO)

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show clips (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Kate Beckinsale UNDERdresses for vodka (Popoholic)

Lily Allen for Chanel: love or hate? (Go Fug Yourself)

Up in the Air

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 11:10:55 December 3, 2009 11:10:55

Opens tomorrow. You must go see. Up in the Air has scored a 92% rating among Top Critics on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s considered a major contender during awards season, and this is George Clooney’s best performance. Full Story

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More young steeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 09:58:17 December 3, 2009 09:58:17

Emma Watson, Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning… not all the young ones are skank ones. Add Saoirse Ronan to the list. She is 15, currently on a major promotional tour for The Lovely Bones, showed up in New York last night perfectly styled and has, in fact, been perfectly styled all the way through. Full Story

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Third Lip in London

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 08:38:50 December 3, 2009 08:38:50

Nine premiere is tonight. Third Lip, Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman, and Keith Urban flew in today for the event. Third Lip loves it in London. The press is always way up her ass there. Actually, the press is always way up her ass everywhere. You know she’s super tight with Rupert Murdoch, right? Just making sure. Full Story

Please look like this all the time

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2009 08:19:58 December 3, 2009 08:19:58

This is what Noah Cyrus, 9 year old sister of JailBait Miley, looks like when they don’t skank her all up like a pageant girl. Totally normal, ordinary, even cute, right? Except of course for the naked fameloving all over her face. Nothing can mask that. Noah was hanging out by JailBait’s tour buses in Miami the other day, a holiday on the road with her family. Full Story