Smutty Tingles

September 22, 2009 10:51:31 Posted at September 22, 2009 10:51:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I might have lumps but I KNOW I could outrun her (Dlisted)

I love when dlisters take marriage seriously (The Superficial)

Sienna Miller glows on Broadway (Hollywood Tuna)

Again. Dita’s man is a BEAUTY (Just Jared)

Twilight beefcake vainwhore complains about the paps. Please. (Pop Sugar)

Now these are some nasty skinny ass legs (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Babies make you love more. I guess. (INO)

Beautiful men, beautifully filmed, beautifully acted. Of course Tom Ford (Towleroad)

She’s the new Lance Bass. Shows up for any and EVERY party (Popoholic)

So his God doesn’t disapprove? (Popeater)

She totally hates them

September 22, 2009 09:16:09 Posted at September 22, 2009 09:16:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

JailBait Miley Cyrus was photographed by the paps after lunch with her friend yesterday. Doesn’t she look like she hates the paps so much? They are vile, reprehensible creatures! This, you see, is the message she tried to convey on her Twitter Full Story

JLo Opening loss

September 22, 2009 08:28:32 Posted at September 22, 2009 08:28:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sunday night at my house was Go Eli Manning. Not because I’m a Giants fan but because I hate the Dallas Cowboys. Have always hated the Cowboys. I have written about this before. Last time I posited whether or not there were actually Cowboys fans outside of Dallas. I learned that they do exist. In Calgary, Alberta. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Life without Daisy

September 22, 2009 07:57:15 Posted at September 22, 2009 07:57:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m not trashing Jessica Simpson for losing her dog. She might be dumb as f-ck with poor taste in men, pathetic and sad and stylistically challenged, but when it comes to the death of Daisy, I’m not jumping on the hate train with Martha Stewart and so many others, especially when she’s grieving a tragedy, no matter if it was preventable. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

What she needs…

September 22, 2009 07:26:52 Posted at September 22, 2009 07:26:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is a new publicist. Journalists covering a film festival see each other every day, for several days, sometimes several times a day. And there is time to kill. A LOT of time to kill. Because they make us arrive well before screenings. Usually an hour before the screenings. We get there and we stand around, crammed up against each other with nothing to do, clutching our blackberries and talking sh-t. Full Story

Taupe is clean

September 22, 2009 07:00:00 Posted at September 22, 2009 07:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jennifer Garner at the LA premiere of The Invention of Lying (terrible title) last night. She looked great at TIFF and, apart from the fringe, she looked great again last night. Forehead curtains. It’s like forehead curtains, see? Jennifer flew in from Boston for the event, is expected to fly back shortly to join her family, and has said she enjoys living there with Ben Affleck and the girls while he’s working on his new film. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

September 22, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

September 22, 2009 06:50:04 Posted at September 22, 2009 06:50:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy belated Birthday Cate H! Am sorry I missed it. Please forgive. You’ve been supporting my smut for so long so I suck for not being on time with this. Flogging myself while wellwishing you. Hope it was an amazing weekend and do tell me how I can make up for it. Happy 29th Birthday Alexandra from Julia! As for the answer to Julia’s question – much less, but sadly yes, I do. Full Story

Monday, September 21, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Am back in Vancouver now after 2 weeks at TIFF. Thanks to P&G Beauty for sponsoring our coverage and the work of my TIFF BFF Alan W. Click here for the complete TIFF 2009 report and please note – it will be updated shortly with posts on meeting Fergie and her girls (the princesses in person!), Jack White, and that star who needs a new publicist. Coming soon.

Emmy Awards last night – did you watch? It was a bad sign when all those Kardashians showed up on the carpet. So much f-cking riffraff, so very insulting. There’s Michael J Fox making an appearance, the beloved Michael J Fox, and then down the line, Phoebe Price is working it for the cameras, existing for no goddamn reason. Even the fashion was tepid – with few exceptions everyone looked like they were wearing Oscar discards.

Neil Patrick Harris, bless him, tried his very, very best and Jon Hamm brought the quiver, but the entertaining moments were few and far between. Ricky Gervais was not far off the mark when he joked about feeling comfortably and modestly at home among the television community – there is still a great divide between the movie star and the tv star. Ask Jessica Biel. She knows it only too well. Select Emmy photos and moments to follow. And please check my Twitter for most of my Emmy comments – click here to read my tweets.

So despite an aggressive marketing strategy and a Megan Fox in your face publicity tour, Jennifer’s Body opened in 5th place this weekend with a relative earnings to theatre ratio that was WORSE than Sorority Row starring Rumer Willis and several other not so brand names. In other words: Megan Fox cannot open on her own.

Having said that, at the very least, Jennifer’s Body scored 42% on Rotten Tomatoes for critical reviews. Not stellar but nowhere near as sh-t as Jennifer Aniston’s Love Happens. Oh Love Happens. Love Happens to suck.

Love Happens could only manage a 4th place box office finish with only 18% overall at Rotten Tomatoes and, more embarrassingly, just 5% from top critics with reviews ranging from scathing to sympathetic, as the Globe & Mail hilariously declared:

Hang in there Jen. You can do better.


What is she? A 5 year old who just fell off her bike? More on that later.

It’s Monday – am back to regular blog schedule, new posts all day, check back often. And there’s an exclusive bag to be won too.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Emmy GG breasts and disappointment

September 21, 2009 14:36:17 Posted at September 21, 2009 14:36:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In my books Leighton Meester rarely loses out to Blake Lively. But last night at the Emmys, sigh, Leighton stumbled. Even with that horse ass tail of a hairstyle, Blake took this one heads ups. Yeah it was a titty show, as it’s always a titty show when it comes to Lively, but she’s 22, and she has a sick body, and at least this time the dress fit, and the makeup was great, and as far as obscenities go, comparatively speaking, her breasts weren’t so ridiculously faceslapping. Full Story

View All 20 Photos

Jogging hair

September 21, 2009 12:46:32 Posted at September 21, 2009 12:46:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the 2nd GMD post of the day. But it’s too good to skip. The GMD and Katie went for a run together in Boston this afternoon. Obviously the hair issue is not his fault, cannot be helped. But still it totally cracks me up. In all fairness though, according to my husband Jacek, I am the ugliest runner ever. Full Story

Talk To You Never!

September 21, 2009 12:42:31 Posted at September 21, 2009 12:42:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

By Alan W Yes, I’m quoting Ebola. Please hold your fire! I'm infected. Just a little infected. It's not that I don't see the ridiculousness of Ebola, but I love ridiculousness. I think having an awareness of the dangers of Ebola is what sets me apart from those who actually believe in the Ebola. Full Story