Monday, November 9, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Taylor Swift, adorable on SNL, yes. But today’s open belongs to Don Draper.

Mad Men Season 3 finale last night – did you watch? Sigh. Now that’s a f-cking show. And Jon Hamm. Now that’s a f-cking Man. Will not be sorry at all if People Magazine names him Sexiest Man Alive. He is. But they are dumb. And if Patrick Dempsey couldn’t at the height of Grey’s Anatomy popularity, does Hamm have a chance?

Well…Don Draper > Derek Shepherd. Don Draper take down the Twi-Hards? Only if People Magazine shows some imagination. This, of course, is the same magazine that granted Chris Brown and unchallenged whitewash of an interview. Click here if you missed it last week, handicapping the SMA candidates.

As for Taylor Swift on Saturday Night Live – SO cute, loved her. Loved that she told Joe Jonas to suck it, loved that she fed the rumour mill with a blow kiss to Taylor Lautner, she delivered a kick ass Shaki impression, the gangsta police almost killed me (but that was more Bill Hader), and of course, mocking Twilight. The video is here. Jacek asked me if the movie was really like that. I told him yes. And worse. Remember when Kellan Lutz arrived at school riding standing in an open back pickup for no particular reason?

Precious opened in only 18 theatres this weekend. From those 18 theatres, Precious grossed $1.8 million. It is a new record. Precious opens wide the week after next. Oscar chances are brighter and brighter. Go see it.

It’s Monday – am in Toronto for the week to host the Giller Lite Bash tomorrow and United Way Rouge. Am extra yappy for charity. Come, let’s smut. The verb. For a good cause.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Reeve Carney is the new Spiderman in Julie Taymor’s highly anticipated Broadway production. Reeve Carney… looks like James Franco. In this video, from this angle, he totally does. And he’s well into his 20s. Duana approves.

PPS. The Tudors Season 3 starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers is coming out on DVD tomorrow (November 10, 2009). The Tudors airs at 9pm on Wednesday nights on CBC in Canada. We have one (1) complete set (Seasons 1-3) to give away as well as three (3) sets of Season 3. If interested, email [email protected] with TUDORS as the title before EOD Friday, November 13, 2009. Standard terms apply. One prize per winner. Approx. value is $90. Good luck!

Clingy with benefits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 14:31:56 November 9, 2009 14:31:56

According to Fox 411 Jessica Biel wants to be with Justin Timberlake so badly, she’s eating his terms, even if his terms dictate that their relationship remains open, leaving him to f-ck whoever else he wants to, and her at the same time. Friends with benefits. Full Story

Obligatory Pene update

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 14:09:10 November 9, 2009 14:09:10

Written by Jacek I feel obligated to provide a Penelope Cruz update each time I post. Partly because she’s infinitely hot, but also because whenever I write (which for the good of the site is very infrequently), she’s photographed somewhere. It’s the same with Lily Allen showing some boob, although the day is more than half way done and that hasn’t happened yet. Full Story

Biggest news of the week hands down

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 12:29:00 November 9, 2009 12:29:00

Written by Jacek Lainey’s stuck in a shoot for a couple of hours so I’m stepping in to fill the void. And when I saw this headline I said to myself…"Well, sh-t. This news can’t wait. The people must know.” Tiffany Amber Thiessen is having a baby! It’s a People Full Story

She ain’t no cougar

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 10:32:32 November 9, 2009 10:32:32

She’s a puma. This is what Demi Moore cheekily prefers to be called. Look at her. On the cover of the new W Magazine. Ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Demi Moore is 47. And Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman would age herself 5 years if she could be like this. The article is an interesting read for a change. Because it’s not as jump-up-her-ass as these pieces usually are. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 10:30:00 November 9, 2009 10:30:00

What to wear to the farmer’s market: famewhore edition (Dlisted)

Nicolas Cage won’t promote this movie…so Eva Mendes uses her nipple (The Superficial)

Dumb blonde, dumb hat (Hollywood Tuna)

Rihanna & Jay-Z (Just Jared)

Robert Pattinson and the biiiiiiitch on the balcunny – the video (Pop Sugar)

Dakota Fanning Teen Vogue (INO)

Beyonce’s new bangs (ASL)

Another useless Rachel Bilson sighting (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

The GMD threatens to beat a bitch? (Cele|bitchy)

James Franco’s ex girlfriend gets married (Popeater)

Josh & Diane in a pantsuit

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 09:16:57 November 9, 2009 09:16:57

Joshua Jackson left Vancouver to join Diane Kruger in Hollywood last night at the 2009 Hamilton Behind the Camera Awards. Sigh. I love how he loves her. He takes the skytrain to pick her up when she flies in to see him. He calls to make her spa appointments. He loves her. I love how he loves her. And I love this pantsuit. Full Story

Moustache and skinny jeans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 08:18:02 November 9, 2009 08:18:02

Daniel Craig is still wearing that moustache for a steady rain. Went out the other day with Satsuki Mitchell and his parents in skinny jeans. He looks good in skinny jeans. You’d think his thighs would be too thick. It works on him. Been trying to get Jacek to try some skinnies but he is allergic to being stylish. Full Story

Biiiiiiiiiiitch!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 08:01:18 November 9, 2009 08:01:18

Get you’re dirty ass of that balcunny in Paris with Robert Pattinson, HE DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU!!!!!!!!! What’s funny? What’s FUNNY??? Do you think it’s funny to lie and make bad shinaniguns? Because Rob loves her and not you. Just like Bella loves Edward and NOT Jacob. Your not even 2nd best, you are in the dirt and I will kick it in your face. Full Story

Thank you for shaving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 07:25:46 November 9, 2009 07:25:46

And taking your shirt off. David Beckham trimmed that nasty ass beard to bring back the quiver. He also showed off a new shorter haircut at the Galaxy game yesterday that matched young Cruz. Cute right? Cruz has been firmly established as the showboat of the family, the new ‘do reflects his personality. Full Story

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GOOPy & the Freeze!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 9, 2009 07:03:07 November 9, 2009 07:03:07

Two ice queens share the screen, and one of them plays a woman turned man. Will anyone care? Will anyone see? You know I love my Gwyneth but she can’t sell a movie unless RDJ is in it. Nicole Kidman’s box office poison is equally lethal. Now the two of them are starring in an independent film called The Danish Girl. Full Story