Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Anna Wintour on David Letterman. Did you watch? Loved every minute. More on that later.

First – my city is under siege. As if it wasn’t enough that Twi-Hards are arriving every day in the hopes of marrying Robert Pattinson or officiating his wedding to Kristen Stewart, Ebola Hilton is now in town, inciting a mob scene wherever it goes as paps wait to shoot its every move and idiots calling themselves fans begged for photos and autographs.

Really?

Why?

Because fame makes people cheap.

And people are dumb.

And we have much work to do. The public is ignorant of the disease. Virus education and prevention – they must be made aware. Also - if you Twi-Hards need an enemy….

Ebola is after your crew. Details below.

Late articles were posted yesterday including Lilo’s 24/7 drama and Melanie Griffith’s routine rehab. Scroll down for more. Am online all day today.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Feel sorry for him, he’s depressed

August 25, 2009 18:04:26 Posted at August 25, 2009 18:04:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Brown was finally sentenced today for violently assaulting his girlfriend. Oh yeah, he also tried to kill her. TMZ reports that Brown claims that since he beat Rihanna, and was arrested for it, he’s been “depressed”. Full Story

Chicken Fried hot red pants

August 25, 2009 14:18:48 Posted at August 25, 2009 14:18:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Britney Spears was chicken fried half asleep during the first leg of her tour last spring. Multiple cities, multiple reports: she couldn’t be bothered, performance was lackluster, she wasn’t into it at all. After a holiday break with her boys, Britney has resumed touring in North America and many of you have written, from many locations, to say that the energy level is different, that she seems to have elevated her game, that she now rubs herself onstage with some more enthusiasm. Full Story

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Bass kisses a boy!

August 25, 2009 13:09:08 Posted at August 25, 2009 13:09:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

SPOILER! Ausiello is reporting that Gossip Girl will go maybe gaybe early this season with Chuck Bass who snogs a boy called Josh Ellis because Blair needs Josh to pick her to deliver the freshman speech. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

August 25, 2009 12:50:15 Posted at August 25, 2009 12:50:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What Jennifer Aniston and Ebola have in common (Dlisted)

Bless her for not getting implants. Please don’t change (The Superficial)

Always a supermodel. Damn. (Hollywood Tuna)

Not sure why exactly he’s tearing his shirt off, but also not complaining (Just Jared)

Puke. (Pop Sugar)

Thumb and Tongue opening monologue? (INO)

Taylor Swift’s new crush (ASL)

Really like her as a blonde (PopEater)

DEFiNITely Mila. (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Why isn’t Olivia Wilde more famous? (Popoholic)

The Silver Fox vs Speidi

August 25, 2009 10:47:00 Posted at August 25, 2009 10:47:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He is… Scrumtrilescent. The f-cking best. Anderson Cooper last night devoted some time on The Shot to take one at Heidi Montag’s Miss Universe f-ckery. And he gave her the gears. He questioned her identity. Who the f-ck is she? He called her deluded. He said she’s talented and pathetic. Full Story

GOOPy wants no more Coldplay?

August 25, 2009 10:13:48 Posted at August 25, 2009 10:13:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gossip Betty is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow wants Chris Martin to leave Coldplay, encouraging him to break from the band to chart a career as a solo artist. Apparently she’s all about diversification and she wants him to explore other opportunities as well. Full Story

Ryan Gosling…and Kat Dennings?

August 25, 2009 09:30:00 Posted at August 25, 2009 09:30:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thanks to HTC who just emailed me – Twitter is buzzing about a possible hookup between Ryan Gosling and Kat Dennings? The evidence is nowhere near slamdunk but intriguing all the same. I REPEAT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SKIM: Nowhere near slamdunk. But intriguing all the same. Apparently some due tweeted Full Story

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Something for me, something for him

August 25, 2009 08:42:00 Posted at August 25, 2009 08:42:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Here’s what you’ll read about today across most entertainment sites and blogs: MJ’s murder The sociopathic douchebag who murdered his wife The Ed Hardy-wearing douchebag with 8 kids who left his wife The 2 plastic douchebags who appear on The Hills F List reality tv stars who are pregnantHere’s what will be ignored in favour of the aforementioned: Jason BatemanAm NOT ignoring Jason Bateman. Full Story

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He didn’t cut his Ass Bangs

August 25, 2009 08:03:14 Posted at August 25, 2009 08:03:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Stephen Moyer was shot leaving a hair salon last week with a cap on – was hoping he had that sh-t cut off. Clearly he did not. The Ass Bangs turned up last night at the Nylon party – Anna Paquin covers the new issue. Anna, as usual, looks sexy and sweet. Stephen, while certainly an improvement on Bill Compton’s grey face and loser personality, looks ridiculous with the fringe and that earring. Full Story

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Ebola wants Twilight

August 25, 2009 07:50:33 Posted at August 25, 2009 07:50:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As I reported a few weeks ago, Ebola Paris Hilton is guest starring on Supernatural. Not sure why the show felt the need to expose its cast and crew to that disease but here it is, arriving in Vancouver yesterday to begin work. Ebola is apparently playing a shapeshifter who shapeshifts into “Paris Hilton” and tries to kill everyone. Full Story

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