Becks gets his balls grabbed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2010 06:46:41 January 21, 2010 06:46:41

For real. I need to learn how to speak Italian. Not only because Colin Firth makes it sound extra sexy, not only because the Italian Queen is taking over Hollywood, but because Italian television is straight up nuts, no pun intended. Dude, this tv presenter just walked up to David Beckham the other night and GRABBED HIS BALLS. Full Story

January 21, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2010 06:34:47 January 21, 2010 06:34:47

Happy 30th Birthday Amy with love from your sister! To Robbie – Happy 30th Birthday! Heather tells me you like the burly men. Fine by me but we need to work on your Spittle crush – what? Am attaching some Jason Bateman. MUCH better option. He’s rocking a heavy beard lately. I think you’ll like it. Full Story

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Dear Gossips,

Canada’s Being Erica kicks off its 2nd season on SoapNet in the US this month. The show’s star Erin Karpluk will be on The View today to promote it. Erin on The View. It’s happening. Being Erica has apparently now been picked up in 30 countries  Read Full Intro

Skarsgard shameface?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 16:12:24 January 20, 2010 16:12:24

Alexander Skarsgard has been hooking up with Kate Bosworth. He shows up somewhere, she shows up 5 minutes later. After the Globes on Sunday, both were at the same parties, reportedly making out at the end of the night... But E! Online Full Story

Green socks at the gym

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 14:20:19 January 20, 2010 14:20:19

Russell Brand has been going to the gym a lot lately. I see him in his gym clothes and it cracks me up. I mean I can totally see that vain bitch Kellan Lutz at the gym every day tweaking his breasts but Russell Brand, it seems so incongruous. Like, look at him. And his green socks. Not that it’s a bad thing to be healthy, of course not. Full Story

Colin Firth’s happy anus

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 13:15:31 January 20, 2010 13:15:31

Yeah, it’s like a fart joke. Very, very juvenile. But when Colin Firth says it, and in Italian, well, it’s adorably hilarious. And a little less low classy. Colin’s been making his rounds for A Single Man– Conan on Monday night, Jon Stewart last night (haven’t watched it yet). Full Story

Chicken Fried Brown, now the English accent

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 12:02:22 January 20, 2010 12:02:22

Brown Fried Chicken is trouble, been saying it for weeks. On top of all that, word is she’s now speaking with that English accent. You remember the English accent? At the height of her f-ckedupness she was messing around with Adnan whatever his name and yapping at the paps like Madonna, only worse. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 11:41:04 January 20, 2010 11:41:04

Try telling Kate Hudson to do this to her son (Dlisted)

Chris Brown’s contrition on display once again (The Superficial)

Elle Mac taunts the MiniVan with her boots (Hollywood Tuna)

Clive in a suit. That’s all (Popsugar)

Listen. And cry. Then buy. For Haiti (JustJared)

Yeah ok, Ryan Reynolds looks hot here (Cele|bitchy)

Totally immature. I feel badly for laughing. But we need a stronger uniform, we really do. (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Buy Scarjo, help Haiti (INO)

James Franco, I love you again (Towleroad)

Tiger Woods’s PR team is f-cked. Again. (Popeater)

Porny Posehard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 09:26:00 January 20, 2010 09:26:00

My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on upswept hair, courtesy Ken Paves, and a bombshell posehard attitude on the red carpet. Full Story

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Covers induce eyerolls

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 08:22:00 January 20, 2010 08:22:00

Where is People Magazine? Well, it jumps from ass to ass. Sometimes it lives inside Chris Brown’s ass. Sometimes Tori Spelling’s. This week, you can find People Magazine happily ensconced inside the Pilates toned posterior of “Rachel from Friends” who graces the cover with the MiniVan friendly headline:5 years after Brad – Fun, Flirty & 40! Really? Because to me it’s the opposite. Full Story

John Mayer is still f-cking Jen & Jess

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 07:48:00 January 20, 2010 07:48:00

In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story