Best Hair: Halle Berry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 08:36:19 January 18, 2010 08:36:19

And body, and breasts, and skin, and everything. If we had to break it down, it would be only Halle all categories. Since that would eliminate the fun, I’m choosing hair. Because it’s so great to see her back with her iconic short hair after several years of not short hair. This really is her best hair. Full Story

Best Globes Makeup: Marion Cotillard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 08:21:50 January 18, 2010 08:21:50

Wasn’t my favourite Marion dress ever but I don’t think it was intended to be. She knows when it’s her time and when it’s not. Again, these are girl code subtleties that we all recognise. Well, most of us anyway. But while Marion’s style choice wasn’t intended for the best, there is no downplaying that face. Full Story

Most Disappointing: Anna Kendrick

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 08:04:45 January 18, 2010 08:04:45

This isn’t just for an old lady, this is for an old lady blue blood. Like the matriarch of some crazy rich family at her 80th birthday party at the Plaza Hotel. Why the f-ck Anna Kendrick decided to wear it to the Golden Globes is a mystery to me. Anna Kendrick is just 24 years old – really, was there really nothing else? I find this hard to believe. Full Story

Worst Globe Shoes: Anna Paquin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 07:52:29 January 18, 2010 07:52:29

All over her gown. The gown was good. Especially the sleeves. It’s a good alternative to strapless and halter and tank. But then she cocked it up with those shoes. Those shoes on a different occasion, with a different dress, for sure. Those shoes the way she wore them – low classy all the way. Full Story

Best Globe Breasts: Christina & Mimi

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 07:30:49 January 18, 2010 07:30:49

It was a motorboating extravaganza. Big ups to Christina Hendricks for refusing to conform, for refusing to downsize her curves. Much respect to Christina Hendricks for being able to carry those badboys around with toppling. And doing so without looking obscene. Some broads with their big tits, they cannot be anything but Porny. Full Story

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Best Third Lip: Courteney Cox

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 07:08:59 January 18, 2010 07:08:59

Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Full Story

Worst Face: Toni Collette

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:50:45 January 18, 2010 06:50:45

Egregious. Offensive. Horrifying. Foundation abuse? Frying pan? Lindsay Lohan? Not sure. But Toni Collette deserves better than this. So much better. How does this happen? How can you go to the Golden Globes without proper lighting? It’s unforgivable. It’s totally unacceptable. And the only saving grace about it all is that she shut down Courteney Cox. Full Story

Worst Speech (other than J Cameron):Drew Barrymore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:37:10 January 18, 2010 06:37:10

Ugh. Like shut up already. And she didn’t thank Jessica Lange. Who deserved it so much more. I was never a fan of Drew’s Little Edie. Am definitely not a fan of her dress last night. It was Atelier Versace. It was not Anna Wintour at the Costume Institute Gala. There was a theme back then. Full Story

Best Glee: Dianna Agron

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:16:01 January 18, 2010 06:16:01

Am relieved for her. Because you know, leading up to the Globes, Dianna Agron was bringing some assy styles. Peach and lace and f-cked up shoes and ankle length dresses... I was worried about last night. Last turned out to be OK. Grey and subtle and not overly dramatic, an appropriate dress for the occasion and for her position. Full Story

Worst Imitation of Penelope Cruz: Lea Michele

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:04:00 January 18, 2010 06:04:00

We need to retire this dress for a long time. Penelope herself has worn it too many times. Her pretenders are lining up in a long list of Boring behind her. With embarrassing results. Some photo agencies actually labelled Lea “Penelope Cruz” on their databases last night. See? Lea may not have won for Best Actress Comedy but she certainly takes home the Kate Beckinsale Award for too much TRY. Full Story

Worst Globes Sag: Carey Mulligan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:58:59 January 18, 2010 05:58:59

Carey did not bring Shia. Boo. Carey lost to Sandra Bullock. Boo. Not that I don’t love Sandy. I do. But The Blind Side was not An Education. There was no comparing the performances. Perhaps Carey’s loss was predicted by her sagging tits. Oh honey, give ‘em a hitch. Duana, Michelle, and I we wanted to do it for her. Full Story