Douchey is sorry. Always sorry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 06:54:00 February 11, 2010 06:54:00

John Mayer tweeted at New Year’s that he’d be taking some time to reflect, to cut off his Twitter musings, to try and tame his famewhore. That worked for about a week. Then he spoke to Rolling Stone and extolled the virtues of masturbation, revealing that he jerks off to his ex girlfriends all the time. Full Story

February 11, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 06:48:46 February 11, 2010 06:48:46

To Rachael B. in Bermuda - happy birthday dude! Looking forward to relaxing our old bones at the spa on Saturday :) Love Julie xxx Happy 30th Birthday Kael. Eliza says you’re the “yummiest mummy” she knows! And for those of you wondering about the Opening Ceremony tomorrow night... Full Story

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Dear Gossips,

Re: your responses yesterday on how to fill the empty spot on the Freebie 5, that it belongs to Ryan Gosling – respectfully, hell no. The Five is a one-shot deal. And you want it that way. Is there a reality, alternate or otherwise, in which you would be satisfied with Ryan Gosling for less than a lifetime? Please.  Read Full Intro

MiniVan Morning Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 15:01:25 February 10, 2010 15:01:25

Ryan Gosling, where are you? I need you. Because it’s been a long ass day. Between the Olympics and blogging and rehearsals and a thousand emails on both accounts, this is the sh-t that completely picked my ass. I need a distraction from the sugar raping poseur vagina monologue delivered by Taupe and Shelfy on Good Morning America. Full Story

She should have been enough

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 12:43:14 February 10, 2010 12:43:14

Not really sure why Kate Bosworth had to be at that Chanel event last night when Vanessa Paradis was there. She’s only, like, the coolest sh-t ever. And more chic and steeze than anything that Bosworth twat can snort. This is of course is why Johnny Depp couldn’t help himself. This is why she became his and he hers. Full Story

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Porny Crack

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 12:17:00 February 10, 2010 12:17:00

Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who else can entertain this way? Every time he speaks it’s gold. Full Story

Who let this guy in?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 11:51:07 February 10, 2010 11:51:07

Written by Jacek Hello Smuthounds. It’s been a while. Lainey’s stuck in a shoot so I thought I’d fill the gap. She’ll be back at it soon. I’ll stick to what I know as subject matter in the meantime. If you’ve made the rounds of the gossip blogs, you would have seen that SI has just released its swimsuit issue. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 11:26:00 February 10, 2010 11:26:00

I’m sorry for the delay. I’ve been rehearsing all day for Olympic Morning. Should have bigger gaps now to post but Jacek will fill in for the first and let’s catch up with my smutty friends.

If you’ve never signed a petition, make this your first! (Popeater)

Jennifer Aniston wants privacy so she invited the cameras. And she sunbathes for charity. (Dlisted)

Kate naked or Natalia naked? (The Superficial)

Alicia’s amazing ass (Hollywood Tuna)

The GMD is STILL a hero??? (Just Jared)

Brad’s beard shops for toy (Pop Sugar)

Gaga says she’s shy (Betty Confidential)

Sandy will hug anyone. The Oscar is hers (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Lilo Jesus (The Blemish)

Taupe and a dolphin and pleasure. STILL boring (Cele|bitchy)

Why Is for Chanel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 09:31:34 February 10, 2010 09:31:34

Why is Kate Bosworth? It’s been a question that’s brewing, a long time coming. She works less than Jessica Biel. And it’s not just her skankwrecking on Chris Martin and Alexander Skarsgard. It’s not just her non-existent relationship with food. It’s not just the bulimic jut of her jaw. Full Story

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The men and Julianne

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 08:36:59 February 10, 2010 08:36:59

Julianne Moore was surrounded by the Men, the most beautiful Men, last night in Paris at the premiere of A Single Man. Lucky bitch. Here she is, flanked by Colin Firth and Tom Ford, her second film screening in as many days, having just promoted Chloe earlier this week. Not crazy about her dress, but do love the theatricality of the cape. Full Story

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Tall Girl Body

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 07:35:32 February 10, 2010 07:35:32

I am a short person. I also have stubby legs. The combination makes for some tricky wardrobe issues. So I know about short people dressing problems. Always wanting to be taller, I never thought about tall people dressing problems. Didn’t think they existed. But Katie Holmes keeps proving it over and over and over again – tall people have dressing problems too. Full Story

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