Drive-through Brange

July 27, 2009 07:01:49 Posted at July 27, 2009 07:01:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Next headline: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are terrible parents because they feed their kids McDonalds. Gwyneth Paltrow “would rather die” than put that sh-t in her kids’ mouths. And many in the judgy mom set totally agree. “You mean you don’t buy organic? (Tut tut!) You mean your children aren’t eating organic? (Tut, tut, tut!)” Go to Whole Foods right now. Full Story

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Katie Holmes on So You Think You Can Dance – holy f-cking SUCK. And she spent all that time rehearsing? Hours and hours? And this is the very best they put together? OSCAR WORTHY???

Chicken Fried Britney’s half ass vaginal fondles at the MTV VMAs required more energy than what Robo delivered last night. Will elaborate later.

Twi-Hards congregated in San Diego yesterday for Twilight New Moon and screamed their tits off but it’s Johnny Depp’s worst kept secret surprise appearance to support Tim Burton that’s been the major coup of the convention so far. He is such a f-cking star. Laura had to lord it over me yesterday that she’s made him laugh before. Over the phone. It’s her favourite zinger and she uses it sparingly but it works every time. Bitch.

Friday. New articles all day. Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Have been hotel hopping all week, still in Toronto and can’t wait to get home to Vancouver on Sunday but staying here at the new Hyatt Regency Toronto on King Street has been truly impressive. Many of you have emailed lately asking about a good place during TIFF. I’m a picky bitch. And my mother is even pickier. And she is threatening to move in for the weekend because not only is the bed perfect but the pillows are perfect and it’s so hard in a hotel to get perfect pillows but they’ve done it and almost everything else is right too, especially the wireless speed because some hotels have bullsh-t for wireless – except the Squawking Chicken’s only complaint (because there’s always one) is that they don’t have a microwave. Needless to say, she’s scraping. A big hotel that feels like a boutique hotel in a kick ass location. And the service is impeccable. See you during the festival? And for the benefit of you cynical crusty bitches out there – yeah, I’m paying.

PPS. Two girls in a limo is not Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson.

Tongue Thumb vs Twi-Hards

July 24, 2009 13:41:21 Posted at July 24, 2009 13:41:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Bring it. You love it. I’d buy tickets and invite all of you to come watch. Megan Fox is at Comic-Con to promote Jennifer’s Body. At some point she picked up a Robert Pattinson/Entertainment Weekly pillow and posed with it, and of course you remember that there were rumours a few months ago that he f-cked her in LA, which made the Twi-Hards crazy because according to them Robert Pattinson’s sparkling penis only dazzles for Kristen Stewart. Full Story

It’s helping...

July 24, 2009 12:23:00 Posted at July 24, 2009 12:23:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We are helping? As imaginary friends of Jessica Simpson, I think our work is working. No more articles on People.com from “friends” describing that she’s sad and mopey and a total loser sitting on her mom’s couch drunk texting Tony Romo. Instead, two sightings in a row that reflect a more pulled-together, more positive, more defiant Jessica. Full Story

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SATC 2 – Exclusive

July 24, 2009 10:26:02 Posted at July 24, 2009 10:26:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Stop reading here if you can’t handle the spoilers. Sex & the City the second movie – a few exclusive plot details. You ready? Ugh. My sources tell me that JailBait Miley Cyrus, as of this week, is confirmed to be on set for one day. Not known yet exactly what she’s playing but f-ck, it’ll make her head bigger and mashed mouth even more annoying. Full Story

Cruz and Becks matching haircuts

July 24, 2009 09:28:34 Posted at July 24, 2009 09:28:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Heh. Cruz has a hawk. And Becks is showing off a new cut too. I love. I die. While Posh was sitting stiffly on a swing yesterday, David Beckham took his boys shopping – I guess this is how they parent? Because Victoria takes them shopping with her all the time too. Like there’s no other way to entertain children. Full Story

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No Kids

July 24, 2009 08:52:00 Posted at July 24, 2009 08:52:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a book by French author Corinne Maier called No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Have Children that caused a sh-t storm in her country when it was published last year and will be available in Canada (and the US I’m assuming) on August 4th – can’t wait to read it – and inspired the recent cover story in Maclean’s Full Story

Smutty Tingles

July 24, 2009 08:32:17 Posted at July 24, 2009 08:32:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is where JailBait Miley Cyrus would be working if Disney didn’t call back Billy Ray (Dlisted)

Maybe on MK but on Fergie? Absolutely NOT. (Hollywood Tuna)

I F-CKING LOVE THIS SONG (Just Jared)

I beg to differ. Rosario Dawson’s body looks delicious (The Superficial)

See? Nicole Richie upgrades her friends (Pop Sugar)

I tried on a dress this short yesterday at Anthropologie and my ass was hanging out (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

DanRad stands up for the gays (Cele|bitchy)

Why is it SO EASY to write a book these days??? (INO)

Please. On True Blood Pam would never choose anyone else over Eric (TrueBlood.net)

Watch the New Moon clips here! (PopEater)

We’re selling milkshake now

July 24, 2009 08:14:32 Posted at July 24, 2009 08:14:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You think it can’t get any worse, from leggings to self tanner, to a straight to TV movie, an actress who no longer acts… but then she starts selling milkshakes. The Lohans are deficient in the shame gene. This is f-cking shame. Lindsay Lohan looked the picture of health yesterday at an appearance at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood where they named a shake after her – the Lindsay Lohan Shake consists of vanilla and chocolate ice cream swirls with Oreo cookies… And two lines of coke followed by a half tab of ecstasy and, if you need to lose a few pounds, a hit of crystal meth too? How hard up is this bitch? She must be broke f-ck on her skinny crank ass. Full Story

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Ginger Scarjo

July 24, 2009 07:56:42 Posted at July 24, 2009 07:56:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yet another colour change. This is Scarlett Johansson, not hiding from cameras, arriving at the LA Shorts Fest 2009 opening last night. She isn’t covering her face with a scarf and complaining about you wanting to look at her. The explanation of course is that this is an “official” event and so photos are allowed. Full Story