Worst Imitation of Penelope Cruz: Lea Michele

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 06:04:00 January 18, 2010 06:04:00

We need to retire this dress for a long time. Penelope herself has worn it too many times. Her pretenders are lining up in a long list of Boring behind her. With embarrassing results. Some photo agencies actually labelled Lea “Penelope Cruz” on their databases last night. See? Lea may not have won for Best Actress Comedy but she certainly takes home the Kate Beckinsale Award for too much TRY. Full Story

Worst Globes Sag: Carey Mulligan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:58:59 January 18, 2010 05:58:59

Carey did not bring Shia. Boo. Carey lost to Sandra Bullock. Boo. Not that I don’t love Sandy. I do. But The Blind Side was not An Education. There was no comparing the performances. Perhaps Carey’s loss was predicted by her sagging tits. Oh honey, give ‘em a hitch. Duana, Michelle, and I we wanted to do it for her. Full Story

Quietest Globe Beard: George Clooney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:51:00 January 18, 2010 05:51:00

George has other things on his mind. Like, bless him, the Haiti telethon on January 22nd. But George arrived, always the consummate star, signed autographs for the bleacher fans, and his Italian Queen by his side. Would have been the moment of all moments if we could have seen George introduce Elisabetta Canalis to Julia Roberts, non? But they haven’t thought of it yet. Full Story

Best Globe Beard: Jon Hamm

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:45:53 January 18, 2010 05:45:53

Better than the Brad Pitt beard, yes. And this is not a blind riddle clue. Because Jon Hamm’s beard is all man and sex and hot. HE is all man and sex and hot. But... we need to talk about the girlfriend. We weren’t feeling her on our liveblog. We weren’t feeling her attempts at camera time. Full Story

Golden Globes 2010 Wrap-up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:34:48 January 18, 2010 05:34:48

WHO’s NATALIE??????????????????? As Duana noted during our live blog, that sealed it for us right there. No matter what happened after, Julia Roberts’s dismissal of “Natalie” made our lives. Some of you were not watching NBC’s Globes preshow so you missed the moment. “Natalie” is Natalie Morales. Full Story

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January 18, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 05:19:20 January 18, 2010 05:19:20

Jen from Sacramento says "Thanks God" for my roommate Amanda. The only person who is allowed to dress up as me for Halloween (see photo), my bridesmaid partner in crime, and the best roommate ever for being brave enough to kill giant spiders when I am being a big chicken. Happy Belated Birthday Caroline! Heard last week was rough. Full Story

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dear Gossips,

Golden Globe Sunday is off to a good start. Brett Favre may have pissed on his legacy with the retirement f-ckery but there is no team I loathe more than the Dallas Cowboys. Suck it Romo. Now that Jessica Simpson is out of the picture, who will that little bitch blame now? Sorry, enough sports talk.  Read Full Intro

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Gossips,

Please tell James Franco that if he squints really hard, I kinda look not really like Komiko. Back to back new 30 Rock last night, did you watch? For those you of who don’t believe that grown men can develop relationships with cartoon pillows, well, you should read the article last summer in the New York Times.  Read Full Intro

Cheese Champers!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2010 16:28:58 January 15, 2010 16:28:58

Remember when drunk ass Mimi sprinkled her amazingness all over the stage at the Palm Springs Film Festival last week? She explained afterwards that she kept enjoying “splashes” of champagne throughout the night. This kills me.The Splashes. Full Story

Fire Burning

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2010 15:11:21 January 15, 2010 15:11:21

Somebody call 911Shawty fire burning on the dance floor You’re gonna hate me for putting that song in your head the rest of the day. But it’s the song that popped into my head when I saw what Dianna Agron wore to the Season Diamond Fashion Awards last night. Dude, it’s getting worse. Full Story

Winona is still invited

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2010 12:17:58 January 15, 2010 12:17:58

Well that’s a good sign. Last week while sick I indulged in an old movie marathon which included How to Make an American Quilt. It was 15 years ago. And Winona Ryder was perfect. As A List as A List could get. So breathtakingly beautiful. I mean that face. There still isn’t anything like that face. Full Story