October 6, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 6, 2009 06:40:28 October 6, 2009 06:40:28

Robyn – good luck with the training, the fundraising, and of course in France next year… the marathon! To Carmella in San Diego – Happy Birthday with no beats from Taez, Joni, and the rest of your P-Crew! And for our Michelle who wrapped We Day yesterday, as Duana marvelled last night – look what you produced: After all that and an after party, you ended the night with us. Full Story

Monday, October 5, 2009

Dear Gossips,

This weekend’s Saturday Night Live should have been the season opener. After Megan Fox’s lackluster and unimaginative debut (which, in her defence, isn’t entirely her fault) the writer’s came back strong, almost every skit was watchable, and though Ryan Reynolds is a douche, he wasn’t bad. Not bad at all. Unlike Madonna.

It appears we needed a reminder that she canNOT act for ass.

Of course it was titillating that she and Gaga were busting out and throwing down. Of course it was. But if Gaga, at this point in her career, has nothing on the Madge from a legacy standpoint, at least that bitch can deliver a goddamn line. Madonna cannot deliver a line. But Sweet Christ she will keep punishing us with her attempts .

Sooner or later Madge will itch to make a movie again just to f-ck our lives.

And one more note on Ryan Reynolds who, as already noted, performed well. But to borrow from the Governator on Weekend Update, enough with the girlfriends and the boyfriends and the husband and the wives.

Justin Timberlake hosts and Cameron Diaz and Shelfy make appearances. Megan Fox brings Brian Austin Green. Ryan has the “incredible” Scarlett Johansson.

It’s tired Lorne. It’s tired.

So unless is Brad is hosting and Angelina comes on for a Jungle Sex skit, please no more…

Monday – am working out of Toronto for the next few. Home for the Mid Autumn Festival (moon cakes!) and Dad’s birthday, and a shoot on Tuesday (squee!) and An Evening With Meryl Streep at the ROM on Wednesday. Johanna Schneller is interviewing her. I flew across the country for this fangirl moment.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Whip It BOMBED this weekend at the box office despite strong reviews. What’s up girls? WHAT’s UP???

Emily Blunt candid & The Office Wedding

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 13:50:00 October 5, 2009 13:50:00

This is Emily Blunt in New York today with Matt Damon shooting The Adjustment Bureau. No need to be worried about having your girlcrush destroyed here… Scott & Claudio, longtime readers with whom I’ve been having a love affair over email for years, were fortunate to meet Emily at TIFF when she was at the festival promoting The Young Victoria. Full Story

He had to keep his shirt on

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 12:10:31 October 5, 2009 12:10:31

The Jonas Brothers made a surprise appearance today at the Air Canada Centre for We Day. You can imagine the screaming. Yesterday the Vagina Virgins participated at CIBC Run For The Cure. Miraculously, Joe kept his shirt on. Those in Yorkville would find this particularly surprising because during the film festival, a shirtless Joe could oft be seen running around Toronto's busiest neighbourhood bare chested getting in a fitness fix despite the ubiquitous presence of paps hoping to get shots of George Clooney and the Mighty Opes. Full Story

Precious Cheese Tits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 10:28:48 October 5, 2009 10:28:48

Tits out, ass out, Mimi heaved her cheese onto the carpet the other night at the New York premiere of Precious enveloped in a cloud of butterfly love and bunny rabbit affection. Mimi tottered over to the event wrapped around her husband Nick Cannon and the two proceeded to slather the press with a thick layer of Velveeta as Mimi, in exceptionally great spirits, perhaps due to the fact that Mo’Nique has decided to piss away Full Story

View All 19 Photos

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 10:03:08 October 5, 2009 10:03:08

Hot Harry on a Horse becomes a Twi-Hard? End this f-ckery NOW (Dlisted)

Please. Like she actually eats cupcakes (The Superficial)

She looks a little better. Maybe Tina Fey made her eat (Hollywood Tuna)

Jenny Humphrey finally gets a storyline (Just Jared)

Gwen at 40 (Pop Sugar)

Screech’s ego wrote a book (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

How Rachel is at home. Love her (INO)

Another look for Ellen Page (ASL)

It’s My Life! And he has NO rhythm! (Popeater)

Front row BFFs (ICYDK)

GOOPy for Stella

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 09:39:20 October 5, 2009 09:39:20

It was so hard for Gwyneth Paltrow to tear herself away from her children today, because she’s such a devoted mother, but she’s also a devoted friend. Which is why she hopped on the Eurostar to Paris to support Stella McCartney who is showing at Fashion Week today. G and Stella, of course, are BFFs. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Shelfy can’t cling long distance

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 08:48:02 October 5, 2009 08:48:02

Shelf Ass Jessica Biel is back in Vancouver, arrived last Thursday and spotted yesterday downtown filming A-Team. As you can see, even on set with makeup on, Shelfy looks like sh-t. Gaunt, pale, and am told she seems listless and mopey between scenes. A reader (thanks Rubina!) saw her on Saturday night at a lounge in Kits, shared a few words with her, and also wrote that Biel seemed rough – “awful” was the word that was used. Full Story

View All 24 Photos

Porny panties

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 07:53:16 October 5, 2009 07:53:16

Sigh. What will we do with her? She’s just… It’s like trying to mold concrete. Jessica Simpson was out on 2 occasions this weekend – first at a gala in support of Operation Smile and then in Vegas with sister Ashlee to celebrate Pete Wentz’s birthday. She attended the charity benefit with her main gay Ken Paves and her parents. Full Story

View All 19 Photos

Cruise Encouragement

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 07:13:08 October 5, 2009 07:13:08

Busy weekend for the GMD and Katie Holmes in Boston. Family time with Little Sci and Connor and a kiss for the camera too. You judgy moms are always writing about Little Sci never walking so I’ve included a few shots of her on foot. In all fairness to them, it’s easier to carry her and let the paps get their shots and move away quicker than letting her go on foot on her own. Full Story

View All 26 Photos