Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dear Gossips,

I have good feelings about April 1st. My parents married on April 1st. My husband was born on April 1st. April 1st is totally a fried rice day. Except tonight we’re going for Italian.

Here’s my gift to you this April 1st. Hate Mail. It’s your favourite. In response to my exclusive report yesterday re: Robert Pattinson and Nikki Reed:

YOU ARE A LIAR!!!!!!!!! Rob would never be with Nikki because he wants to be with KRISTEN!!!! You probably like her because she’s dirty like you. Lol!!!! But WE deserve a better Rosalie. Why do you keep messing around? You know nothing you’re just a stupid gossip making up stories so if you don’t have anything nice to say, just stop saying it. We can go without all your Twilight news. We can get it somewhere else! From Rob’s Girl

Amazing, right?

Wednesday, new posts all day, and an April 1st Johnny for your viewing pleasure.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Have been off Twitter since Sunday night now that Toronto Fashion Week and the Junos are over. Can’t decide if I should keep going? It’s so easy…

Can you help decide? Check the poll.

PS.  Late posts yesterday.  Scroll down if you missed them.

Beyonce: off plane, on stage

April 1, 2009 16:58:25 Posted at April 1, 2009 16:58:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Beyonce arrived yesterday in Vancouver prior to her show at GM place. Flying private with a wardrobe to match. And then there were the costumes. Several of them. Including a wedding dress with veil and what looks like piping all over the hem and also some kind of space suit with a lotus guarding her crotch. Full Story

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The Situation needs it

April 1, 2009 14:34:22 Posted at April 1, 2009 14:34:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A clip from T.I. sharing a dinner date with his Situation during which she discusses what it’ll be like when he goes to jail. The Situation is not shy about letting him know, in front of cameras, that he’ll need to be extremely attentive to her in the days leading up to his incarceration so that his loving will last and linger while he’s away. Full Story

Rob in an elevator

April 1, 2009 13:40:13 Posted at April 1, 2009 13:40:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A tenacious fan in Vancouver spotted Robert Pattinson recently. Her efforts paid off. Two blocks later she found herself in an elevator with him and asked for a photo. He shook her hand but didn’t say anything else. As you can see, he’s wearing his uniform. And looks sleepy. Late nights, I guess. Full Story

Jo and Mrs O

April 1, 2009 12:52:01 Posted at April 1, 2009 12:52:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

G20 Summit – many demonstrations, major controversy, this is not the place. Let’s stick with something less contentious. There should be no debate about this one. A power women dinner or something this week at 10 Downing Street. Michelle Obama is the guest of honour. Seated beside her… Our Jo. Full Story

London Cheese Sausage

April 1, 2009 12:00:33 Posted at April 1, 2009 12:00:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Relax. I’m not calling her big. Obviously not. Did you see those amazing shots of her cheese on the beach the other day? Click here. What I’m saying then is that our favourite cheese only wears tight ass clothes. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

April 1, 2009 11:18:07 Posted at April 1, 2009 11:18:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There’s really no hope for Good Taste (Dlisted)

Jen’s nipples are missing!!! (Hollywood Tuna)

Brody Jenner is clenching that jaw like the GMD (Just Jared)

My favourite stoner (E! Online)

The Cullen Vampires: hot-off (Pop Sugar)

Why Shelfy doesn’t use valet (Drunken Stepfather site Not Safe For Work)

Ashton’s beautiful suede jacket (INO)

Mrs Kutcher thinks we’re stealing… and tweets about it! (Cele|bitchy)

Filthy Scab sewing (The Blemish)

The Mighty Opes brings RiRi and Breezy back together? (A Socialite's Life)

Rob works, Nikki leaves

April 1, 2009 10:10:16 Posted at April 1, 2009 10:10:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

“Rob’s Girl” says no more. But others disagree. So here you go: Nikki Reed managed to make her flight yesterday back to LA – chill, these are file photos – after spending a few days with her BFF Kristen Stewart in Vancouver and enjoying a couple of sleepovers with Robert Pattinson. Full Story

Obsessed with her looks? Her???

April 1, 2009 08:56:38 Posted at April 1, 2009 08:56:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No sh-t. And if John Mayer’s calling you out on your narcissism, what does that say about you? Yes you Jennifer Aniston. You. New issue of Us Weekly reveals that one of the reasons why they broke is because John could no longer handle how “obsessive-compulsive” Jen is about her looks. Full Story

Banned Band

April 1, 2009 08:28:52 Posted at April 1, 2009 08:28:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Award winning band hard partying with friends last Friday at an upscale hotel. Furniture trashed, a chair thrown across the room, glass was broken everywhere, the place was a mess – like wrecked! – and hotel guests on other floors complained and complained… Mostly it’s the lead singer. Full Story

Le Karl must be earned

April 1, 2009 08:01:00 Posted at April 1, 2009 08:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two years ago, Lara and I were standing on the press line at the Costume Institute Gala when Anna Wintour walked by. We shouted, begged, pleaded for her to come over for an interview and the way she looked, right THROUGH us, because cutting her eye would have meant we existed… it totally made our lives. Full Story