Colin Firth’s happy anus

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 13:15:31 January 20, 2010 13:15:31

Yeah, it’s like a fart joke. Very, very juvenile. But when Colin Firth says it, and in Italian, well, it’s adorably hilarious. And a little less low classy. Colin’s been making his rounds for A Single Man– Conan on Monday night, Jon Stewart last night (haven’t watched it yet). Full Story

Chicken Fried Brown, now the English accent

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 12:02:22 January 20, 2010 12:02:22

Brown Fried Chicken is trouble, been saying it for weeks. On top of all that, word is she’s now speaking with that English accent. You remember the English accent? At the height of her f-ckedupness she was messing around with Adnan whatever his name and yapping at the paps like Madonna, only worse. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 11:41:04 January 20, 2010 11:41:04

Try telling Kate Hudson to do this to her son (Dlisted)

Chris Brown’s contrition on display once again (The Superficial)

Elle Mac taunts the MiniVan with her boots (Hollywood Tuna)

Clive in a suit. That’s all (Popsugar)

Listen. And cry. Then buy. For Haiti (JustJared)

Yeah ok, Ryan Reynolds looks hot here (Cele|bitchy)

Totally immature. I feel badly for laughing. But we need a stronger uniform, we really do. (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Buy Scarjo, help Haiti (INO)

James Franco, I love you again (Towleroad)

Tiger Woods’s PR team is f-cked. Again. (Popeater)

Porny Posehard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 09:26:00 January 20, 2010 09:26:00

My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on upswept hair, courtesy Ken Paves, and a bombshell posehard attitude on the red carpet. Full Story

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Covers induce eyerolls

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 08:22:00 January 20, 2010 08:22:00

Where is People Magazine? Well, it jumps from ass to ass. Sometimes it lives inside Chris Brown’s ass. Sometimes Tori Spelling’s. This week, you can find People Magazine happily ensconced inside the Pilates toned posterior of “Rachel from Friends” who graces the cover with the MiniVan friendly headline:5 years after Brad – Fun, Flirty & 40! Really? Because to me it’s the opposite. Full Story

John Mayer is still f-cking Jen & Jess

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 07:48:00 January 20, 2010 07:48:00

In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story

Reading Third Lip and touring with a douche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 07:11:19 January 20, 2010 07:11:19

You all had such a good time reading Bill Paxton’s lips the other day after the Golden Globes and deciphering whether or not he said he “lost to cancer” that we’re doing it again, this time with Third Lip Nicole Kidman. Did she drop a f-ck bomb on Sophia Loren? Me I don’t think so. Full Story

January 20, 2010 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 06:32:00 January 20, 2010 06:32:00

Congratulations Meghan on your first 5k! 39 at 39 is brilliant. Good call on Lil Wayne. Lately I’ve been running on random shuffle but I seem to pick it up when the peppy songs from the Glee soundtrack come on and Jay-Z’s Black Album and, always, Britney Spears. What is it about Britney’s mindless drivel that makes you GO? Keep at it, let me know when you get to 10! And for Darlene J in Michigan – thinking of you and what you’re facing tomorrow. Full Story

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dear Gossips,

There was an insightful article on Megan Fox in the NY Times late last Fall examining Fox’s PR dilemma: having come so far so fast, how do you stay this year’s girl when the year is almost over? Indeed...how? Especially when even the boys seem bored of her? AskMen.com  Read Full Intro

Leo, Bar, Luke, Pete

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 19, 2010 14:14:00 January 19, 2010 14:14:00

Leonardo DiCaprio is famously private. He does not want you in his business. He hates being on camera unless Marty Scorsese is behind it. Or Christopher Nolan. You get it. How uncharacteristic then that last night at the Laker game, Leo was front and centre with Bar Rafaeli, newly reunited. Photo Assumption says he’s uncomfortable, knowing he’s being shot, but still. Full Story

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New year, new crack love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 19, 2010 12:15:17 January 19, 2010 12:15:17

Or she’s trying to make Samantha Ronson jealous. Paps caught Lindsay Lohan out last night with a new beau. His name is Aurelien Wiik. He’s a French actor. To me he’s an Adam Brody clone. French Adam Brody and Lilo were kissing. At a private party inside some store. Naturally, her mother was with her. Full Story

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