September 22, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2009 06:50:04 September 22, 2009 06:50:04

Happy belated Birthday Cate H! Am sorry I missed it. Please forgive. You’ve been supporting my smut for so long so I suck for not being on time with this. Flogging myself while wellwishing you. Hope it was an amazing weekend and do tell me how I can make up for it. Happy 29th Birthday Alexandra from Julia! As for the answer to Julia’s question – much less, but sadly yes, I do. Full Story

Monday, September 21, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Am back in Vancouver now after 2 weeks at TIFF. Thanks to P&G Beauty for sponsoring our coverage and the work of my TIFF BFF Alan W. Click here for the complete TIFF 2009 report and please note – it will be updated shortly with posts on meeting Fergie and her girls (the princesses in person!), Jack White, and that star who needs a new publicist. Coming soon.

Emmy Awards last night – did you watch? It was a bad sign when all those Kardashians showed up on the carpet. So much f-cking riffraff, so very insulting. There’s Michael J Fox making an appearance, the beloved Michael J Fox, and then down the line, Phoebe Price is working it for the cameras, existing for no goddamn reason. Even the fashion was tepid – with few exceptions everyone looked like they were wearing Oscar discards.

Neil Patrick Harris, bless him, tried his very, very best and Jon Hamm brought the quiver, but the entertaining moments were few and far between. Ricky Gervais was not far off the mark when he joked about feeling comfortably and modestly at home among the television community – there is still a great divide between the movie star and the tv star. Ask Jessica Biel. She knows it only too well. Select Emmy photos and moments to follow. And please check my Twitter for most of my Emmy comments – click here to read my tweets.

So despite an aggressive marketing strategy and a Megan Fox in your face publicity tour, Jennifer’s Body opened in 5th place this weekend with a relative earnings to theatre ratio that was WORSE than Sorority Row starring Rumer Willis and several other not so brand names. In other words: Megan Fox cannot open on her own.

Having said that, at the very least, Jennifer’s Body scored 42% on Rotten Tomatoes for critical reviews. Not stellar but nowhere near as sh-t as Jennifer Aniston’s Love Happens. Oh Love Happens. Love Happens to suck.

Love Happens could only manage a 4th place box office finish with only 18% overall at Rotten Tomatoes and, more embarrassingly, just 5% from top critics with reviews ranging from scathing to sympathetic, as the Globe & Mail hilariously declared:

Hang in there Jen. You can do better.


What is she? A 5 year old who just fell off her bike? More on that later.

It’s Monday – am back to regular blog schedule, new posts all day, check back often. And there’s an exclusive bag to be won too.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Emmy GG breasts and disappointment

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 14:36:17 September 21, 2009 14:36:17

In my books Leighton Meester rarely loses out to Blake Lively. But last night at the Emmys, sigh, Leighton stumbled. Even with that horse ass tail of a hairstyle, Blake took this one heads ups. Yeah it was a titty show, as it’s always a titty show when it comes to Lively, but she’s 22, and she has a sick body, and at least this time the dress fit, and the makeup was great, and as far as obscenities go, comparatively speaking, her breasts weren’t so ridiculously faceslapping. Full Story

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Jogging hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 12:46:32 September 21, 2009 12:46:32

It’s the 2nd GMD post of the day. But it’s too good to skip. The GMD and Katie went for a run together in Boston this afternoon. Obviously the hair issue is not his fault, cannot be helped. But still it totally cracks me up. In all fairness though, according to my husband Jacek, I am the ugliest runner ever. Full Story

Talk To You Never!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 12:42:31 September 21, 2009 12:42:31

By Alan W Yes, I’m quoting Ebola. Please hold your fire! I'm infected. Just a little infected. It's not that I don't see the ridiculousness of Ebola, but I love ridiculousness. I think having an awareness of the dangers of Ebola is what sets me apart from those who actually believe in the Ebola. Full Story

etalk Kenneth Cole giveaway!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 11:44:37 September 21, 2009 11:44:37

Every year at TIFF, our etalk Lounge is the best. And not just because I work there. There’s something about the set up. Very feng shui friendly. Celebrities feel comfortable inside. Jennifer Lopez acted like it was her favourite photo shoot studio, Bill Nighy thought it was his personal stand up comic stage, one year Joshua Jackson did not want to leave, and Rupert Friend popped in just as the crew was tearing down on Friday because everyone says you have to go to etalk for this and that and the other. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 11:22:54 September 21, 2009 11:22:54

This is better than the first Twilight movie. (Dlisted)

How does one sit down in these shorts? (Hollywood Tuna)

Mila vs Lolita? Please. No contest (The Superficial)

Leo is always better looking on a film set (Just Jared)

Porny is gracious, even when she’s grieving (Pop Sugar)

Why??? Why must we care about morning sickness??? Is it new??? (INO)

You thought you’d seen the worst of Tori Spelling? Grab the smelling salts and have a look… (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

And the Twilight hair problems continue… (ASL)

Brad Pitt goes country club styles (Popeater)

This will make you cry (Cele|bitchy)

Emmy Crack Tweets

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 10:40:35 September 21, 2009 10:40:35

Samantha Ronson dj’d at an Emmy afterparty last night. Needless to say, Lilo was not invited. So she crack tweeted about it for our pleasure. Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter really does provide endless, endless amusement. It started around midnight last night: Nice to see @samantharonson has found a 90210 rather than being a loyal Possessive and jealous, as usual, Lilo seems to imply that Sam is cheating on her with someone from 90210? Then she accuses Sam of lying because she’s working: Nice to see @samantharonson has found a party rather than being honest This is followed by a tweet that suggests that she crashed the HBO party: Hbo security sucks And finally, Lilo says she’s heading out the door with a sly dig at the Ronson Family, and it’s widely known that they hate her. Full Story

His wedge heels come in blue

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 09:36:49 September 21, 2009 09:36:49

It’s the GMD! And he’s working again! For the first time in two years, Tom Cruise is on a film set. He’s on location in Boston to shoot Wichita with Cameron Diaz and over the weekend, Tom spent time with his son Connor and Katie Holmes and Little Sci shopping at a local boutique and showing off his blue wedge sneakers with the hidden height enhancers. Full Story

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Happy Sarah has a new man

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 09:27:21 September 21, 2009 09:27:21

Sarah McLachlan delivered a stirring performance last night at the Emmy Awards during the In Memoriam section of the show. Sarah left Vancouver on Friday with her girls for a few days in LA looking healthy and gorgeous and glowing and fresh… It’s been a wonderful summer. She’s completely devoted to her daughters, of course, but there’s also love in her life again. Full Story

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Loose leather pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2009 08:55:45 September 21, 2009 08:55:45

Only Victoria Beckham. Everyone else wears leather pants and they cling like leggings. Victoria Beckham puts them on and they’re loose. It’s a proud moment for our Posh: to be so thin that not even the smallest size will fit her. Her Elle Magazine spread barely made a splash, certainly not as exciting as the last one, and worse still, the Elle feature means she’s been pushed even lower on Anna Wintour’s list of possible cover candidates… You know when things get rough, she can only control her food. Full Story

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