Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dear Gossips,

I resent the fact that I’m being forced to know about these Jon and Kate 8 baby people because almost every tabloid insists on putting these two famewhores on the cover. Apparently they’ve run out of Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie pregnancy/breakup/adoption/cheating/voodoo/brother lover/threeway with Jennifer Aniston stories. What? Impossible!

Am not blogging about the crazy octo-parents. Why? Because civilians are not celebrities. Also...too many babies. Don’t like babies to begin with, especially not 8 of them. Ugh.

Wednesday – home from Vegas, blogging all day. Scroll down for late posts from yesterday afternoon including... Harry on location!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. The Venus Embrace look book updated tomorrow! Click here to catch up if you haven’t checked out the previous looks.

Movies about baster babies

May 13, 2009 17:01:47 Posted at May 13, 2009 17:01:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been four years since Jennifer Lopez worked on a movie. And finally, today, she was back on set to start shooting something called The Back-up Plan about a single woman pregnant with twins via artificial insemination who falls in love on the day the babies are conceived. Not to be confused with The Baster starring Jennifer Aniston about a single woman who gets pregnant via turkey baster only to find out 7 years later her best friend used his sperm to make it happen. Full Story

MTV Kings

May 13, 2009 14:13:51 Posted at May 13, 2009 14:13:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

!!!!!!!!!! It was announced today that Kings of Leon will perform for the first time on MTV at the Movie Awards. For sure Caleb’s voice will hold up much better than Chris Martin’s last year. Ugh. Do you remember that? Like, quit jumping around if you can’t sing and jump at the same time. Full Story

Average > Dried bitter melon face?

May 13, 2009 13:58:00 Posted at May 13, 2009 13:58:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My husband has been on me all day about featuring Shu Qi because he’s been stalking her on Getty. He thinks he’s an Asian specialist now, he can actually tell us apart. And right now he’s all about how hot she is. Can’t get over how hot she is. Me I’m partial to Maggie Cheung. Full Story

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Festival Tilda

May 13, 2009 12:23:00 Posted at May 13, 2009 12:23:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It begins. Another Cannes Film Festival. And at tonight’s opening gala, a goddess arrived. Her name? Tilda Swinton. Please. Who else? I LOVE how far she has to bend down to greet that woman. I LOVE how graceful she is. I LOVE how beautiful she is. Beautiful but not delicate. And this is good. Full Story

More AssTalk from the Fox

May 13, 2009 11:37:48 Posted at May 13, 2009 11:37:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Still can’t believe she and John Mayer haven’t hooked up yet. He’s a depraved douchebag, she’s as stripper skank as they come. And neither of them can stop yapping. Perfect together. Please make it happen. Anyway, we’re a month away from Transformers which means we’ll be inundated with Megan Fox for the next several weeks. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

May 13, 2009 11:19:26 Posted at May 13, 2009 11:19:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The funniest sh-t I have read all day (Dlisted)

Lyla Garrity is Blair Waldorf’s single white female (Hollywood Tuna)

If any child could do it, she could thaw out my womb (Just Jared)

Lolita in London looks like it’s Mom Night (The Superficial)

Ashley Olsen’s face looks really f-cking weird here (Pop Sugar)

Famewhore Mermaid (IDLYITW)

Kate keeps Leo close (INO)

Alanis on the beach! (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

David Beckham: spot his amazing word (Cele|bitchy)

Greedy f-cker’s career is over (ASL)

Rossum for his birthday

May 13, 2009 10:05:37 Posted at May 13, 2009 10:05:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Run, Robert, RUN. Today is Robert Pattinson’s birthday. I know this because my inbox has been pounded by his fans, some very polite, and some not so polite, “belligerating” me for not wishing him a Happy Birthday. I’ll let you enjoy that for a minute or two. My birthday, by the way, is September 26th. Full Story

Ewan in the morning

May 13, 2009 08:38:30 Posted at May 13, 2009 08:38:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At Regis & Kelly and Good Morning America today in New York promoting Angels & Demons which hits theatres this week. So far Angels has not been as controversial as Da Vinci. Not even close. And while it hasn’t received great reviews, critics have been kinder to it than its predecessor. We can all probably agree – the Da Vinci movie sucked so much sh-t. Full Story

Courteney’s new bestie

May 13, 2009 08:09:42 Posted at May 13, 2009 08:09:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Courteney Cox and Isla Fisher yesterday out for lunch at Joan’s on Third. All part of that little yummy mummy crowd – from which Courteney’s longtime bestie Jennifer Aniston is feeling increasingly isolated. At least according to Life & Style. Obviously bullsh-t. But the photos came at a great time as their latest issue hits stands featuring a BFF breakup. Full Story

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You are not Little Edie

May 13, 2009 07:22:13 Posted at May 13, 2009 07:22:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The cops were called to Lindsay Lohan’s the other day because the alarm went off. Nothing had been stolen and there was no break in, but it was a f-cking mess, prompting the police to describe initially that the place had been ransacked. It was not ransacked. Lilo simply doesn’t pick up her sh-t. Full Story