Smutty Tingles

May 26, 2009 10:20:45 Posted at May 26, 2009 10:20:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So many women want to look like this. I hate people. (Dlisted)

I disagree about this MILF (Hollywood Tuna)

Yes. Please taunt us with your beautiful child (Just Jared)

Best actress tries to quit smoking (The Superficial)

Becks and a little girl! Awwww! (Pop Sugar)

Another reason why Karl hates Klum (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Twi-hards simultaneously orgasm (INO)

Going bald for Mimi!!!! (Cele|bitchy)

Jerry Springer goes to London (Holy Moly)

This is Avril...but it could totally be Miley (The Blemish)

She’s singing again

May 26, 2009 09:07:00 Posted at May 26, 2009 09:07:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Scarlett Johansson. This time an album of duets with Pete Yorn called Break Up that was recorded before her Tom Waits f-ckery in 2006 due out on September 8th but the first single Relator is available today. Click here to listen. It’s actually. Full Story

Scabby and Spittle

May 26, 2009 08:44:34 Posted at May 26, 2009 08:44:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not together, no. But can you imagine? They were however both at the beach yesterday in Malibu. Spittle and his weird spittle mouth looking like he’s posing for the paps and the Filthy Canadian Scab in white, as usual, with the man they’re calling her latest – apparently they met at a deluxe trailer park – enjoying Memorial Day Monday. Full Story

Goodnight Saigon SNL

May 26, 2009 07:50:04 Posted at May 26, 2009 07:50:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My husband’s hero. He memorises Will’s facial expressions. Like that part in Old School when Frank the Tanks hits off the beer funnel for the first time in years and it touches his mouth and he’s all like – it's so good once it hits your lips. For my husband, this is one of the greatest scenes in the history of movies. Full Story

Marriage repair

May 26, 2009 07:29:00 Posted at May 26, 2009 07:29:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A couple months ago they were on life support. Kate Beckinsale had taken off for London without warning husband Len Wiseman, stayed there a month, found daughter Lily a new school, leaving Len supposedly baffled about what prompted her decision. Her rep vehemently denied there was anything wrong between the two. Full Story

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A list at the beach

May 26, 2009 07:01:20 Posted at May 26, 2009 07:01:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Are Tom Hanks’s jeans too tight? I don’t want Tom Hanks to be Tight Jeans Guy. Not his best moment. So apparently Joel Silver threw a Memorial Day party or something and a lot of famous people showed up including Tom and Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Hm. Jakey looks hot in that hat. Full Story

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Iron Man Memorial Day

May 26, 2009 06:49:08 Posted at May 26, 2009 06:49:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He spent the weekend at the beach in Malibu, with wife Susan, and his son, surrounded by friends, and of course his lunch pail filled with vitamins and spinach pills. Adorable. Various photos attached of Robert Downey Jr enjoying down time after weeks of shooting the sequel and working out like a motherf-cker. Full Story

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May 26, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

May 26, 2009 06:34:00 Posted at May 26, 2009 06:34:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Emma, congratulations on your new fashion blog, wwwwhattowear.blogspot.com, all about the pretty stuff you find while spending far too much time shopping on the internet—it is fabulous and fun, just like you! Love Miriam. Congratulations Karen on your wedding this weekend in Vermont! Wishing you so many laughs, only happy tears, wonderful weather, and so much love…with your bestie Jennifer by your side always. Full Story

Monday, May 25, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Am back from Cannes. It’s great to be home. But then sometimes I get the Grey Goose shakes and I remember what a crazy week it was.

My inbox was crushed on Friday during travel. Twi-hards were beside themselves over a Life & Style report about Robert Pattinson hooking up. Scroll down or click here to review the full report. Pattinson was totally sold out. And by a peer too.

Also … the Brange video from Les Marches. Have you watched it yet? See below. The way Brad Pitt works a carpet – oh la.

It’s Monday – am blogging all day, regular schedule. Check out Katie Holmes and her freakish pants.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Friday Night Lights. Season 3. On DVD. I know you want it. Includes deleted scenes and 13 more minutes from the last episode. More Riggins! More Saracen! There are 5 copies available to give away. If you’re interested, please email inquiries@laineygossip.com with FNL 3 as the title before midnight Pacific on Friday, May 29, 2009.  Standard terms apply.  And remember, there are 2 more seasons in the works. Good taste is on life support. Won’t you help it live?

French bitchfight!

May 25, 2009 11:58:01 Posted at May 25, 2009 11:58:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What would be the English speaking equivalent? Streep vs Sally Fields? Dame Judi Dench vs Dame Helen Mirren? But French. And therefore a million times more dramatic and passionate. Acclaimed actress Isabelle Huppert was the President of the Jury at Cannes this year. Her rival, acclaimed actress Isabelle Adjani, was scheduled to present yesterday at the festival conclusion …until Huppert stepped in and said no f-cking way, over my dead body. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

May 25, 2009 10:58:20 Posted at May 25, 2009 10:58:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

By far the sexiest cheese in Cannes (Dlisted)

Canadian Scabby celebrates an American holiday (Hollywood Tuna)

Shamef-ck shirtless! (Just Jared)

Anything goes in Heidi’s mouth (The Superficial)

Is it me or does Patrick Dempsey have very small feet? (Pop Sugar)

Kate Moss nipshot for Topshop (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Lilo was supposed to be Robo? (INO)

It’s 2009, Obama is President, and this is still going on… (Cele|bitchy)

Fergie borrows from a horse’s ass (ICYDK)

Kylie to marry? (ASL)