Celebration Lourdes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 08:53:56 September 1, 2009 08:53:56

The video for Madonna’s new single Celebration has just been released online. The smutty buzz coming out of the clip is the inclusion of Jesus Luz, and the way he and Madge pretend to be lovers as she takes his jacket off and moves in to kiss him. Ugh. Am so over whatever she wants us to believe and this farce of a romance. Full Story

There’s the strut

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:58:07 September 1, 2009 07:58:07

Oprah fans and the MiniVan just squealed. It’s Carrie Bradshaw, sister idol to a generation of toned down Sex & the City watchers on TBS, re-emerging in New York to shoot the sequel. Because the first one didn’t suck enough. The heels, the familiar strut, the bony ass legs, and a very soft light, not unlike the light used in the Mighty Opesie’s studio, to make sure Carrie looks nothing like the haggard new mother of twins. Full Story

All the Chicken Fried BooBoos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:19:55 September 1, 2009 07:19:55

Gathered in one place. Poolside. Miami. Yesterday. Britney with her sons, sister, and niece at their luxe hotel, enjoying some downtime between shows. It’s easy to forget both girls are still so young. Britney is still only 27. And Jamie Lynn just turned 18 in April. Babies! So many babies! Jamie Lynn was not accompanied by her baby daddy Casey and Britney’s agent boyfriend Jason Trawick has not been seen with her in a few weeks, prompting speculation that it’s already over. Full Story

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Proud Tears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:03:01 September 1, 2009 07:03:01

Look at our Porny… Yesterday at LAX with Ken Paves and her dad – her tits are under control, it’s a very flattering trench cinched at the right spot, hair is natural and unweaved, a very cute pair of shoes in a tasteful colour… There is no trace of porn. Porny looks decent. Oh honey. Full Story

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September 1, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 06:52:47 September 1, 2009 06:52:47

To the late John "Nellie" Nelson, you will be missed. Even to those who didn't know you personally but only saw you zooming around on campus. You were an inspiration to everyone. Xoxo Jessica B For Krista – Congratulations on the promotion! Love Matt  Full Story

Monday, August 31, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Weekend in Whistler wasn’t exactly TIFF training approved. Ugh. Will be a miserable 10 days ahead. Bland chicken breast and vegetables. Great.

It’s a late start today because I couldn’t stop reading last night.

Jane Bussmann’s The Worst Date Ever: War Crimes, Hollywood Heart-throbs and Other Abominations. Sounds like chick lit – don’t worry, it’s not chick lit. It’s a caustic bitch comedy writer former celebrity journalist turned foreign correspondent who actually ended up in war-torn Uganda because she was crushing on an activist John Prendergast and wanted to make him fall in love with her.

Bussman is merciless – on Hollywood, on Ashton Kutcher, on several douchebag dumb twat stars she’s interviewed, and yes, on the vapid celebrity culture that feeds this blog. She’s brilliant. And hilarious. And bitterly contemptuous. Love her so much. The Worst Date Ever - a perfect end of summer read. Full review in book section when I’m done.

Monday – am online all day. Also updated on Twilight business on the weekend. SCROLL DOWN to get caught up.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Hayden, Harry, girls, and glasses

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2009 17:16:03 August 31, 2009 17:16:03

Hayden Panettiere is now dating Lindsay Lohan’s ex boyfriend Harry Morton. She went for a run today with some dude – all the paps keep saying it’s Harry. I forget what Harry looks like and don’t care enough to spend too much time on Google. But I do remember being creeped out by his face because at the time, with Lilo, he was wearing his hair longer and a stubble on his face and it reminded me of the real Chris McCandless of Into the Wild, all gaunt and lonely-eyed up in Alaska… Anyway, this boy, to me, doesn’t look like Harry. Full Story

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Spittle is a pig

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2009 13:37:28 August 31, 2009 13:37:28

And his moves are for sh-t. One of my favourite John Mayer stories is when he once revealed, pre-Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston, that when he tired of f-cking hot girl groupies on tour, he’d dabble in the chunk now and again, because thick girls can be more grateful. And sometimes a cock needs a little variety. Full Story

Bella is in Florida

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2009 12:23:35 August 31, 2009 12:23:35

Shooting today – Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” with her mom played by Sarah Clarke who arrived yesterday in Vancouver shooting a scene that’s supposed to be “Florida” at a beach house while “Edward” hides inside from sun. Tonya would not approve but excuse me while I pull out The Swears Full Story

Bradley Cooper’s TRAVEL DOCS

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2009 11:34:00 August 31, 2009 11:34:00

Not sure why I find the manila envelope so hilarious with the TRAVEL DOCS in large black marker noted across it but it’s almost like a lunchbox. And an assistant probably prepared it for him, and tucked it into his backpack. Sorry. Am silly today because of Tonya’s email and The Swears Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2009 11:22:59 August 31, 2009 11:22:59

Do you believe her when she says she’s never had any work? (Dlisted)

Brandon Walsh has a LOT to celebrate (Hollywood Tuna)

Ebola at the pump – always finding new ways to infect (The Superficial)

Try to remember he’s only 17 (Just Jared)

Arty Brad Pitt goes to Spain (Pop Sugar)

Throw a weave on it and it’s totally a Lohan (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Little McBongo at the beach. Cute! (INO)

Megan Fox’s powerful vagina (Cele|bitchy)

You must be so happy that he’s so famous (PopEater)

Amazing what some girls will do for a small slice of fame (ICYDK)