51 year old ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 11:19:06 August 17, 2009 11:19:06

This is what it looks like. Madonna turned 51 yesterday, celebrated at a dinner party in Portofino seated beside her petting toy Jesus Luz. In the soft candlelight, and having chilled out a little on the face work, Madge easily, from this blurry pap distance, looks 10 years younger. Does Jesus ever smile? For some reason this sentence made me laugh. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 10:59:16 August 17, 2009 10:59:16

Leo D does the douchebag hand signal (Dlisted)

Ridiculous. (Hollywood Tuna)

Pippy plays golf in baby blue (Just Jared)

What to buy a useless f-ck for his birthday (The Superficial)

George Clooney wearing the sh-t out of a pair of white pants (Pop Sugar)

Thinnification of Geri begins again (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Russian Emma. Love. (INO)

Hugh Grant is a neurotic mess (Cele|bitchy)

Anti Drug Campaign: Watch this once, but only to see Aaron Carter’s craters. Show your children. (ICYDK)

Brad Pitt on pot and politics and I love him in an open neck shirt (PopEater)

Chicken Fried Haircuts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 09:34:17 August 17, 2009 09:34:17

My friend Duana once made the observation – why don’t Britney’s kids ever age? They do always look the same, non? Could be because Jayden James looks so much like his big brother Sean Preston, and they were only born 12 months apart almost to the day, so not only does one year seem like two, but it’s also difficult to tell which is which. Full Story

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Porny the judge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 08:09:38 August 17, 2009 08:09:38

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

All star Inception

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 07:21:00 August 17, 2009 07:21:00

Fresh off a break in Ibiza, Leonardo DiCapri is now in Paris shooting scenes for Inception with Ellen Page and Marion Cotillard directed by Christopher Nolan. The plot for Inception is being kept super secret, no details were provided only that the studio described it as “a contemporary sci-fi thriller set within the architecture of the mind”. Full Story

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GOOPy is a punchline

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 06:48:31 August 17, 2009 06:48:31

Once upon a time she sat at the cool kids’ table, repeatedly asked back to host Saturday Night Live, a favourite of Lorne Michaels, stuck up and condescending always, but a great sense of humour and privy to the inside joke. Gwyneth Paltrow, since marriage and motherhood and sanctimonious GOOP living, is not only no longer privy to the inside joke, she’s now the subject of the joke. Full Story

August 17, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 06:32:00 August 17, 2009 06:32:00

Happy birthday to Kathy T our Polish princess who shares her birthday with Madonna. Like Madge, you just get better with age! Love Krista & Stacy To Laurie – sorry I missed the shout-out last week for your birthday. Happy Belated Birthday! Here’s some Colin Farrell on set last week to offer as an apology. Full Story

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Went out for dinner with the girls last night. After several martinis we started composing celebrity haikus. After that we switched to a bawdy game of Would You Rather sex with some of the most disgusting people we know. Somewhere along the way the bartender became the hottest guy ever. But Laura would not oblige us and make it happen. The evening ended with 3 of us ganging up on her because she wouldn’t pick Ryan Gosling. More on this later, as well as the haikus.

So this is why I’m up late and the column is behind. Too many vodka doubles.

It’s Friday – am online all day, late articles were posted yesterday, scroll down to get caught up and to look at Posh’s weird nasty face.

Have a great weekend!

Lara’s getting married!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Hot Friday Hot Harry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 14, 2009 16:03:11 August 14, 2009 16:03:11

It is so f-cking hot here in Toronto. And this is Hot Harry on a Horse not on a horse at a wedding in London with his brother and also Kate Middleton. I was married on a Friday. My mother consulted a feng shui master for the date. And that Friday was deemed a fortuitous day according to our birthdays and birth times. Full Story

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