Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Many people have been linked to Lindsay Lohan. She has that effect. If you’re famous enough, she’ll hunt you down until she can share the headline. These days however, those who are linked with Lilo feel so repulsed by the connection, real or rumoured, that they’d actually threaten to take legal action to prove it isn’t true.

Yesterday, the UK tabloids circulated a report that had Lilo and Spittle Gerry Butler leaving together at a party in Morocco, off to finish grinding each other privately. As noted in the original post, it’s not like the British rags get it right with frequency…but still, Spittle was so disgusted by even the suggestion, the mere whisper of a hook up with Lilo that according to Gossip Cop he is now considering “taking action” to refute the claims once and for all.

Spittle didn’t seem to mind when everyone repeatedly reported that he and Jennifer Aniston were nuzzling in New York and LA. But the minute someone starts a rumour that he went near Lilo’s crank ass, he starts spraying like a man enraged. Point: no one wants to be associated with Lindsay Lohan. But her mother keeps insisting she’ll be hired to direct a movie soon.

It’s Tuesday – new articles all day. Check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Sex & Drink is not Taylor Swift.

Colin for Christmas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 15:45:08 November 3, 2009 15:45:08

Tonight in London at the premiere of A Christmas Carol, here’s the always dashing Colin Firth alongside his equally elegant wife. A Christmas Carol is gunning for the holiday box office. So Colin has a hand in potentially commercial and critical successes this season. Of course A Single Man, for which he’s considered a heavy Oscar favourite, has to be where the primary focus is. Full Story

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Hugh does...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 14:33:59 November 3, 2009 14:33:59

It himself. And he is wonderful. This is Hugh Jackman today with his family at the gourmet grocery store hailing a cab to head home. No driver, no lackey, trying to live as ordinarily as possible. When Nicole Kidman moves around New York it’s all cloak and dagger and security and secret service. Full Story

Porny prose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 12:57:57 November 3, 2009 12:57:57

This full moon is beaming through my window with grace. I am falling asleep encountering this intense moonlit dream. Thank God it found me. The search for the perfect sentence stops here. And what an abundance of generosity. For Jessica Simpson has gifted us with not one, but two offerings. Via Twitter Full Story

I hear you Buble

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 11:26:00 November 3, 2009 11:26:00

Michael Buble is promoting a new album all over the world. Last week he was in London, on morning television, on X Factor, Graham Norton, signing autographs, all in service of the appropriately corny titled Crazy Love which is topping the charts, a huge smash hit. Congratulations Michael. On the success of the album and also on a great promotional tour. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 10:37:46 November 3, 2009 10:37:46

Hugh Grant is not George Clooney (The Superficial)

A man woman with a camel toe, this you MUST see (Dlisted)

Lolita in leather pants (Hollywood Tuna)

Chris Brown sucks: one more reason (Popeater)

Jude Law: still no understudy? (Just Jared)

Manslinger chose ARod over Halloween (Pop Sugar)

How original. She’s a genie (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Jewel in a bikini…nice! (The Blemish)

See? My Rumer is pretty! And she wants to sing. Ugh. (Cele|bitchy)

What’s up with Jessica Alba’s head? (Popoholic)

Interviews with meaning

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 10:14:56 November 3, 2009 10:14:56

Sir Ian McKellan. They should all speak with as much sincerity and compassion and intelligence and substance as Ian McKellan. Interviews these days are so f-cking bullsh-t …is it a reflection on the vapidity of the subject or the subject’s refusal to engage in anything other than innocuous banter for the sake of guarding privacy? It’s possible to get personal without getting public. Full Story

Glee at the mall

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 09:09:00 November 3, 2009 09:09:00

The mall tour is underway – first stop: Long Island Roosevelt Field Mall where the cast of Glee signed autographs and posed for photos yesterday in support of the release of Glee: The Music Volume 1. In six months it’ll be very uncool. Right now, it’s totally ok to play in the car. Full Story

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What happens…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 08:23:46 November 3, 2009 08:23:46

When she walks on her own. See? She can’t. When she tries, she trips. I LOVE HER. SO MUCH. This is Mimi on Jay Leno last night tottering out on her own. She was a very good sport about her stumble but it’s obvious, without the handholder, here is the proof: Mariah Carey is incapable of independent ambulation. Full Story

Gwyneth humiliated

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 08:12:30 November 3, 2009 08:12:30

Star Magazine is definitely not the most trustworthy source. Most of it is bullsh-t. But this is a story that cannot be ignored. The new issue of Star Magazine includes an explosive allegation – Chris Martin cheated on Gwyneth Paltrow with Kate Bosworth. Yes. Her again. Ordinarily, considering it’s Star, the immediate reaction is to dismiss. Full Story

Pitt & Pattinson in Tokyo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2009 07:35:17 November 3, 2009 07:35:17

Horniest place on the planet today? Definitely Tokyo. Robert Pattinson is there with New Moon director Chris Weitz on promotion and Brad Pitt just arrived without the Jolie and the babies sending the Hello Kitties into a lust frenzy from which they may never recover. Here’s the Hello Kitty philosophy: if you scream at them loud enough they will f-ck you. Full Story

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