Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 11:06:52 August 10, 2009 11:06:52

Chicken Fried Britney is missing something (Dlisted)

Benji Madden left this for Ebola? Dumb. (Hollywood Tuna)

Cameron Diaz: the class of last night (Just Jared)

Jeremy Piven vs Mango! (The Superficial)

So. F-cking. Cute! (Pop Sugar)

Filthy Scab has no beauty secrets (no kidding) and wakes up every morning with…her minister? (INO)

Oh shame. Gwyneth gets smacked down by a no lister (Cele|bitchy)

Can’t put my finger on what’s weird about Heather Graham’s body (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Brunette famewhore becomes blonde famewhore (Popeater)

Ugh. Halle Berry BumpWatch (ASL)

How to be a player

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 09:26:56 August 10, 2009 09:26:56

Jennifer Aniston, also known as 40 and Fabulous!, has been battling Snapface Renee Zellweger, 40 too, for the affections of Bradley Cooper. Renee seems to have surged ahead of late. She and Coop (with whom she co-starred on Case 39) and a couple of friends (?) are currently in Barcelona, having travelled there together out of New York. Full Story

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How to be a Manslinger

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 09:15:12 August 10, 2009 09:15:12

Ashley Greene is heading back to Vancouver. Before leaving this morning she said goodbye to Chace Crawford. With her lips. See? And his eyes are closed… Because… You fill in the blank. With a boy. Ashley and Chace were both at the Teen Choice Awards last night. Wonder if they slept or if he kept her up asking a million questions about Robert Pattinson’s favourite colours. Full Story

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How to be gross

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 08:13:59 August 10, 2009 08:13:59

Ew! F-ck! Sick! Check out Ed Westwick shamef-cking the Teen Choice Awards last night… I can’t look at thisWithout dry heaving and yetI still cannot stop Lara and I have him in common. We send each other crude texts about him, texts I’d love to publish but the prudey ones among you would surely complain. Full Story

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How to be the same

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 07:43:00 August 10, 2009 07:43:00

There was an article published recently about the new Hollywood Leading Man – click here to read - claiming they’re all looking “eerily similar”, super generic, and it’s hard to tell one from the other, leaving the writer to posit that there’s an alarming shortage of real men among celebrities because they’ve all been replaced by floppy haired boys. Full Story

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How to be 20

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:50:11 August 10, 2009 06:50:11

She still has a year to go but it’s hard to believe Kristen Stewart and Hayden Panettiere are only 12 months apart. One seems to be well into her 30s. The other is content at 19, embracing 19, dressing the way a 19 year old can – with imagination, with creativity, with originality… Kristen Stewart isn’t a fashion plate every day. Full Story

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How not to be 20

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:29:51 August 10, 2009 06:29:51

Hayden Panettiere dressing like a former beauty queen now divorced mother of 2 trying to hitch her next ride. It’s the Teen Choice Awards. They replaced the red carpet with astroturf. The prize is a surfboard. Would you say, for a 19 year old girl, this is the best costume for the day? Sure. For a girl who desperately wants to be 30, and date 30 too. Full Story

How to be a teen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:25:44 August 10, 2009 06:25:44

Well there’s the Cyrus way to do it, and then there’s Emma Roberts. One year older than JailBait but SO MUCH more age appropriate. She’s cute without looking infantile, she’s stylish without sacrificing youthful freshness, she’s attractive and yet still seems… pure. Full Story

JailBait, short shorts, a soul patch, and a pole

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:18:00 August 10, 2009 06:18:00

It’s Miley Cyrus and her mashed up mouth at the Teen Choice Awards last night, all of 16, looking more like 30, and standing next to Fergie, really, it’s like they’re almost the same age. A compliment for Ferg, a shame for JailBait’s parents. And then she got on the pole. At the Teen Choice Awards, Jailbait wrapped it around a pole. Full Story

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August 10, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 05:58:07 August 10, 2009 05:58:07

Happy 26th Birthday Laurinda T with love from your old roommate at St. FX who remembers fondly the basement apartment and the John Hughes posters! Love, Tori And for Leslie M. He remembered: Happiest 26th Birthday to the love of my life Leslie M. There's nobody that I have more fun with or makes me happier than you. Full Story

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Dear Gossips,

A brief but bonus Sunday post today with so many photos piling up and so many photos to come as the Teen Choice Awards go down tonight, am attempting to lighten the blog load for tomorrow’s column.

All the screaming, all the adolescents, all the cougar mothers… is this why Posh flew back from Denver? To make sure Becks isn’t too tempted by an 18 year old who will do anything for fame?

More on Victoria below.

Also in this short special weekend edition: LipGloss to LA, and yum… some Jackson Rathbone. That’s enough, non?

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Could not resist posting these when I saw them. A throw back to the day. Big Daddy Kane performed at Celebrate Brooklyn 2009 yesterday. It’s ’88. Time to set it straight.


Photos from Wenn.com