Monday, January 12, 2009

Dear Gossips,

What else is there to talk about? The Globes of course! A double win for Kate Winslet…but will she even make it to the Oscars?

Oh God – who’s the other one?

Oh no she didn’t. Oh yes she did.

She forgot the Jolie.

Will they spare her? Will the Brange have mercy?

This is why we love the Globes, right? Full Globes wrap-up is below, most recent articles will appear closer to the top, early articles near the bottom so if you want to read in sequence you’ll have to scroll down, click “view more articles”, and start from there.

But first…about Gran Torino. As I keep repeating: never, ever count out Clint Eastwood. He owned the box office this weekend delivering a knock-out punch to Bride Wars so he’ll be surging towards an Oscar nomination, look out.


Um… like… Gran Torino sucked. Total balls. And it’s Clint Eastwood, you know? And the critics, on Rotten Tomatoes it scored 75%. So it was inconceivable, when we went on Saturday, that we’d leave the theatre, all four of us, looking at each other asking ourselves: did we miss something? Maybe we’re not evolved enough to get it. We must not be evolved enough to get it. Because, though predictable, the story was alright, the script could have worked…just the acting, oh la the acting. There is better acting on The Hills. For reals. My husband was still laughing, laughed himself to sleep over the utter sh-tassness of it that night.

Apparently critics are afraid of Clint Eastwood too…?

Monday – it was a busy, busy, BUSY weekend. Globes first, then more smut…

Yours in gossip,


Don’t hide your love!

January 12, 2009 13:51:01 Posted at January 12, 2009 13:51:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Turtle and his girl this weekend in Hollywood pretending to be all shy and sh-t for the paps. Why??? Here are Jerry Ferrara and Jamie-Lynn Sigler at Madeo the other night. Jerry of course attended the Globes with his boys on Sunday. They went home empty handed. And deservedly so. This season was balls. Full Story

Globes Best: Maggie Gyllenhaal

January 12, 2009 13:12:16 Posted at January 12, 2009 13:12:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

One more! There were so many articles today, this one was skipped. Anyway… The dress, it’s Lanvin. I’m not a chanter but I would chant for this dress. One shoulders and the bad fengshui-ness of the imbalance usually scares me but this dress, this dress is my entire life. Check out my Maggie, chic as sh-t, in the best of the evening. Full Story

Manslinger back to athletes

January 12, 2009 12:27:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 12:27:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I tingled to this article earlier about Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez. Ew. Like I said with Madonna, there’s nothing about that whiny bitch that says he must be mounted. Adam Scott on the other hand… Oh la. Full Story

The wedding I would crash

January 12, 2009 12:00:15 Posted at January 12, 2009 12:00:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Definitely Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. And this time it’s official. Because People says so, which means they’ve totally sanctioned the message. According to the magazine, he proposed on Friday with a diamond solitaire. Full Story

Take a break

January 12, 2009 11:43:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 11:43:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Awards shows are exhausting. Just need to have some lunch and give my beagle some love. He went to the forest yesterday and like a dumbass decided to lick some poo. Kept us up all night with the sh-ts, poor guy. Now he’s feeling sorry for himself under the covers. Be back in a flash…but in the meantime, just in case this was lost in the Globes drama, Neil Patrick Harrison on SNL. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

January 12, 2009 11:13:08 Posted at January 12, 2009 11:13:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Cameron Diaz is in danger too! (Dlisted)

Nicole still has her mommy boobs (Hollywood Tuna)

SnapFace when she’s airbrushed (Just Jared)

What Brody looks for in a girl (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

A closer look at Katie’s party dress (Pop Sugar)

Lilo the model (Popoholic)

Look out Miley, here comes Lourdes! (ICYDK)

Remember when he taught Porny how to 69? (A Socialite's Life)

Manslinger and… ARod??? (INO)

On what planet is she fat? (Cele|bitchy)

Globes Worst: Megan Fox

January 12, 2009 10:52:18 Posted at January 12, 2009 10:52:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A major event red carpet can be a great equaliser. Without the false hype generated by a calculated single-focus strategy on behalf of one star, awards shows like the Globes separate the top from the bottom. The true celebrities from the pretenders. And this is Megan Fox. On a night when the Brange ruled, as they always do when they are present, when the GMD reclaimed some of his former glory, when Kate Winslet took home double, when Drew and Cam and Pene and Salma played the girly show, Megan Fox was put in her place proving once and for all that her existence is entirely superfluous. Full Story

Globes Best: Colin Farrell

January 12, 2009 10:39:40 Posted at January 12, 2009 10:39:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hemisphere. Like, please. Who would have thought the word hemisphere would set off such loin rubbing fury across the universe? It was a great surprise for Colin Farrell last night. And still he spoke so eloquently, so spontaneously. Hot AND articulate. How can this not bring the quiver? Also – a man who can have a laugh at his own expense. Full Story

Globes Worst Mouth: Gerard Butler

January 12, 2009 10:15:57 Posted at January 12, 2009 10:15:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s not only the spittle. What’s with the permanent side talk? His lips were stuck to one side of his face –did you see him presenting? I’m not a Gerry B scholar, I don’t know if this is standard. But if it is, there are classes he can take to fix that, you know. Because it’s very distracting. Full Story