Do you feel ugly?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 06:26:07 May 12, 2009 06:26:07

Are you bloated? Did your hair not work this morning? Do you have a pimple? If yes… skip to the next. Because you won’t feel any better about yourself after this. It’s Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry shopping the other day and reminding us how ugly we are. Like, we’re ugly. Don’t get me wrong – self confidence is a good thing. Full Story

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Taylor in the rain

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 06:11:37 May 12, 2009 06:11:37

I have read your emails. Your confession emails. Your violation of Gay Math emails re: Taylor Lautner. Don’t worry, I won’t tell. I won’t single you out. But per your request, I will continue to feed you. Besides, it’s not wrong if you’re not acting on it. Of course I will defend you. Full Story

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Shelfy’s Easy Virtue strip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 05:51:01 May 12, 2009 05:51:01

Last night at the NY screening of Easy Virtue – Jessica Biel propped up her Shelf Ass hard to promote her movie alongside Ben Barnes and Colin Firth. Hmmm…two for two this week on Colin Firth. Bonus. It’s actually not the worst she’s looked. Much better showing here than at the Met Gala last week with Pipple as her date…which brings us back to that theory: he can’t exist without being #1. Full Story

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May 12, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2009 05:25:33 May 12, 2009 05:25:33

To Steph F’s sister living in Calgary with her 3 boys… Happy Birthday! Blame me. I forgot to ask Steph your name. How can I make up for this? Is Taylor Kitsch ok? A thousand apologies. Am hoping she gets on the standby so you can celebrate with your sister. For Hayley M. in Fort St. John, B. Full Story

Monday, May 11, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Publicly they’ll claim to be virgins but privately…he hit it.


Can he do anything without mentioning Britney? Once again, Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live was pure gold. Pipsqueak with the Midas Touch brought his A game, the writers love writing for him, and every sketch was solid. From the opening monologue all the way to the end, and of course Shelfy had to insert herself into the musical introduction, it was the strongest episode in a while, cementing JT’s reputation as one of the best hosts to emerge in a long, long time. If you ask him he’d say he’s even better than Christopher Walken. Please child. Please don’t overreach.

My favourite sketch – the boat full of immigrants. He sings like a girl? Favourite moment: Patricia Clarkson at the garbage can. And Susan Sarandon is still the hottest bitch on a kitchen counter with oven mitts. Damn. I would. I will always.

It’s Monday – was a busy weekend, White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Porny sang for Shamu, and Katie Holmes has no eye for fashion. Also Twilight/New Moon updates. Have you been reading my tweets? If not, you missed my tips on the weekend. Click here for more.

Still in Vegas, am vodka blogging all day. Have been vodka existing for several days. Will need to be hosed down when I get home.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Fiona finished the Iron Girl triathlon on Saturday going under her goal of 3 hours! All seven of us were waiting at the end, SO proud of her, and SO relieved now that she can go back to being a normal non-exercise freak person.

 

 

Fight over Cheese!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 17:32:03 May 11, 2009 17:32:03

You know she’s loving it. There’s a cockfight over Mimi! If you recall, Mimi and Eminem dated for five minutes. He claimed he hit it, she says they only kissed. Remember, Mimi can count on one hand the men she’s been intimate with. She repeats it every time she’s interviewed. Full Story

Harry! Hermione! Bellatrix!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 14:14:01 May 11, 2009 14:14:01

Husband has gone off to play golf. Am alone blogging by pool. And seeing these photos, just squealed out loud! Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows shooting on location the Pembrokeshire Coast! Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange! How many exclamation point can I use in one post!?!? I f-cking love the picture of her pointing the wand! The images, they need no further description! 9 weeks…! 9 weeks…! I can’t stand another 9 weeks!Photos from Wenn.com Full Story

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Kevin Federline > Lindsay Lohan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 13:02:56 May 11, 2009 13:02:56

Lilo and her mother keep insisting that she “works so hard”. At what? It’s a mystery. This is Lindsay with her homeschooled in other words no-schooled sister out shopping the other day. What else do they do? Movies? No movies. Lilo claims there’s a movie planned but so far, everyone else is making movies except for her. Full Story

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Shake it, baby, shake it

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 12:31:00 May 11, 2009 12:31:00

Hot Harry on a Horse this weekend at a polo match with his brother. For some reason while they were stretching, Hot Harry, the eternal f-ck up, decided to get his groove on. What do you think of his moves? Kinda like Porny Simpson? Side by side…it’s almost the same! These boys look great in white pants. Full Story

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Fence sitting Brooke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 12:10:00 May 11, 2009 12:10:00

Last week, after Kiefer Sutherland decided to smash his head up against another dude’s face causing injury – in defence of Brooke Shields – a statement was released on her behalf that effectively sold him out. At the time, she supposedly announced via her publicists that she’d no idea why Kiefer would have reacted that way and that Jack McCollough, the victim of the headbutt, did nothing wrong. Full Story

Kingston goes on tour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 11:53:51 May 11, 2009 11:53:51

Kingston Rossdale is so badass, I love him. And he can totally rock a beater tank. Here’s Kingston with No Doubt at LAX yesterday heading off just days before the kick off of their new tour. They’ll be here in Vegas on Saturday at Mandalay Bay…looks like there’s a new King on the strip. Full Story

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