June 29, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 06:30:45 June 29, 2009 06:30:45

Happy Birthday Patty in Omaha, NE! Definitely Jason Statham > Robert Pattinson. But who am I to argue with the order on your Freebie Five? And getting close to 40 is not old. Not at all. To Hilary, the much younger, slightly more attractive sister – says Jennifer! – Happy “new 30”! Enjoy Harry! And yes, I’m holding it against her too for not getting me that interview with the disgraced star. Full Story

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dear Gossips,

I was born 11 months before my Cousin Cat. Someone once said I spent the rest of the time waiting for her. We are like sisters. Sleepover weekends at least twice a month, glued to the radio late at night working on our mixed tapes, yapping until our dads told us to shut up, fighting over who would be Michael Jackson’s girlfriend. I was so jealous for years. Cat’s birthday is August 29th. She used to lord it over me all the time, a card she would pull out that shut everything else down. I had no comeback for that.

Yesterday was like we were that age all over again. A thousand memories attached to every song, and every song with its own personal association – a high school dance, a new best friend, a drama-filled family bbq. We were growing up, and he was always there.

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for some time are familiar with the no sad smut policy. This is the reason I’ve rarely, if ever, written about Michael Jackson. And that will not change. There are many sites that can provide you with minute by minute mourning updates and information. If however you’d like a distraction from the death, and something frivolous to enjoy, or some twihard hatemail to laugh about, or some hotness to quiver over, I of course invite you to come here. I would love it if you came here.

Wishing you a good weekend.

Yours in gossip,


Thanks to Kelly and Dave for the photo.

Enjoying his Cup(s)

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 14:43:13 June 26, 2009 14:43:13

Heh. I’ve been saving this one since Wednesday. Friday afternoon is the perfect time. My favourite photos of the week. It’s Evgeni Malkin and his girlfriend Oksana in Miami. My husband, as I’ve told you he’s a guy’s guy. Ball scratching, sports watching, boob loving, guy’s guy. Full Story

Everybody loves Sandra

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 14:22:52 June 26, 2009 14:22:52

Sandra Bullock fought back on behalf of the Movie Star last week as The Proposal surprisingly earned over $30 million, way exceeding industry projections. Formulaic chick flick but whatever. In the war against reality losers and the democratisation of celebrity, a real star like Sandra driving a romcom all the way to the top is definitely something I can live with. Full Story

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Porny just in time

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 12:09:42 June 26, 2009 12:09:42

Oh Porny! We need you! Especially since Mimi is hiding her cheese. It’s Jessica Simpson in New York last night looking surprisingly very well put together with Ken Paves and some other friends heading out for a boat cruise. We saw Ken Paves last week at the MMVAs to style Kim Kardashian and Lady Gaga. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 11:34:29 June 26, 2009 11:34:29

You may not like it but Hello Kitties eat this sh-t up. LV sells in ASIA (Dlisted)

Only Blake could make this dress boring (Hollywood Tuna)

Lisa Marie’s VERY candid post (Just Jared)

Can hermy nipples distract you from the bad news? (The Superficial)

JT in London without Shelfy, and Chace Crawford with Elton fits right in (Pop Sugar)

Feel better. Because there’s no way you look worse than this (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Check out Fergie’s shoes! (INO)

I really, really, REALLY want one of these for my birthday (Cele|bitchy)

I’m telling you. Gisele’s stomach will remain flat the WHOLE TIME (ASL)

Ellen Pompeo looks super cute with a bump (Celebrity Baby Scoop)

Olsen rescue

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 10:06:08 June 26, 2009 10:06:08

Have received a lot of email about my dress at S.M.U.T. Was originally intending to wear another one but there was, um, a wardrobe malfunction and, at 5pm, with only an hour before I had to be at the venue… PANIC. Thank you Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. It’s Elizabeth & James. A dress called Ninette. Full Story

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Anne is Viola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 08:50:00 June 26, 2009 08:50:00

Opening performance of Twelfth Night to kick off Shakespeare in the Park, this is Anne Hathaway at the curtain call and then in gold at the afterparty. The gold isn’t so flattering, agree? Anne has received mostly solid reviews for her enthusiasm – am told she’s present, generous, and always prepared. Full Story

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Is that a new shirt?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 08:39:51 June 26, 2009 08:39:51

Twi-hards will know. It’s not like Robert Pattinson dresses with a lot of variety but they do have a very intimate knowledge of his wardrobe. They’ve memorised every thread. They’ve catalogued each and every day he’s worn a certain shirt. So it’s certain they will answer my question about this one – not the plaid but the bright blue, red stripe, and black with the grey sleeves. Full Story

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What will Bruno do?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 07:50:29 June 26, 2009 07:50:29

The LA premiere of Bruno went ahead as planned yesterday and Sacha Baron Cohen, in character of course, also stopped by The Tonight Show for a visit with Conan O’Brien during which Conan could not stop looking at his kugelsack. Bruno hits theatres July 10th but last night on Larry King, Morley said there’s some speculation that the film may need to be recut because there’s apparently a moment when Bruno punks LaToya Jackson into calling Michael Jackson, or something. Full Story

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3 segment Johnny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 07:35:09 June 26, 2009 07:35:09

I love the 3 segment guest on David Letterman. My friend Gab and I talk about this all the time. Not everyone gets 3 segments. Only the very, very special ones get 3 segments. Like Julia Roberts. And Will Smith. And George Clooney. And Tom Hanks. And yes, Johnny Depp. He was uncomfortable, but he did it. Full Story